Maternity leave....

[nat206ttc3]

I worked for our council for my last two preganancies and got 7-8 months off with both my boys, I now work in the family business in the office, 28 hours a week, and my parents want me back to work after 8 weeks...

I'm gutted, keep getting teary at the thought. I can't afford to be on statutory mat pay so I'm gonna need to come back.

My husband is gonna have 5 months off shared paternity leave which I'm thankful for but I can't help think about the precious time I'm gonna miss out on.

What mat leave do you get x

 

[MrsS15]

What a shame Nat, I would feel exactly the same. Could you speak to your family and even ask for 4 months off? 8 weeks is very early, not many mums feel ready to go back to work that early! Are they paying you any maternity pay?

I'm a nurse and work for the nhs. We're very lucky the package we get, we can take up to a year off and our pay can't be grumbled at. I'm planning on finishing work at 36 weeks and taking 3 weeks annual leave, then starting maternity just at my due date. I'm hoping to take 11 months off (we can spread our payments over the whole time) and then adding another 4 weeks annual leave on at the end to start back work the start of January 2019! Xx

 

[Mumbear]

I thought legally you were entitled to a year?

 

[MrsS15]

I thought legally you were entitled to a year?

Yeah I think everyone is legally entitled to a year off xx

 

[mylullaby]

I thought legally you were entitled to a year?

Yeah I think everyone is legally entitled to a year off xx

Not much help if the op can't afford to be on SMP though. Guessing that's the problem - go down to SMP or return to work early?

 

[nat206ttc3]

To make it worse, I'm having a planned c section so it will take me at least six weeks to recover.

I can't afford to go onto stat mat pay.

It's actually crushing me x

 

[MrsS15]

I thought legally you were entitled to a year?

Yeah I think everyone is legally entitled to a year off xx

Not much help if the op can't afford to be on SMP though. Guessing that's the problem - go down to SMP or return to work early?

I wasn't suggesting she took a year off. I was answering the previous person who queried if everyone is legally entitled to a year off :S

I really feel for you more so then nat, is it your family or in laws? They obviously can't force you back but if you're also unable to afford to be on just smp if they won't pay you some mat leave then I don't know what to suggest is there anyone within the company with some influence that you could speak to? What's your oh saying? Could you save a bit of money between now and due date to be able to take a little more time off while on smp? Xx

 

[Alipops1986]

Aww Nat - that's a right predicament, I feel for you.

I'm a senior leader in a secondary school - we get 6 months of fairly ok pay [nothing compared to NHS and other fields, but a lot better than other areas], then we get 3 months SMP, then 3 months of nowt.

My husband is a head of faculty in a senior school, but I earn a fair chunk more than him as he works 4 days a week. So the plan is for me to be off from Xmas Hols, we don't get annual leave as such, so this way, although i'll be on hols, my maternity leave won't kick in until the date we're due back to work - 4th January unless baby is born beforehand. So, i'll be off 19th December until the first week of July - pretty much 6 months.
Then, my Husband is having just about 4 months off work - this way he'll be on SMP for 3 months and then fresh air salary wise, whereas i'll be back to full pay. This means we're minimising how much money we lose a month.

When I was on maternity leave with my son, our earnings were very similar so I had 10 months off, I was feeling quite confident with our plan for the maternity leave but we had our scan today and now i'm pondering - but realistically, we have no other choice due to finances!

Alipops x

 

[nat206ttc3]

My parents and brother are the directors, I get that they are running a business and want it to keep doing as well as it is but I wish they would give me more time off. They said they would pay me for two months. My husband can get six months off full pay shared paternity.

So if I have say 6 weeks mat leave and say a months (free) holiday from my parents he would still get 20 weeks full pay. I just know physically and mentally there is no way I'll be ready to go back so quick.

My husband is really annoyed about it

 

[baby1201]

I can see it from your husband's point of view. You would think as close family members they would be more understanding. Are you close to your mum? Maybe you could have a chat with her in private and explain your predicament, then perhaps she could talk your dad and brother round. I think a female is likely to be more understanding in this situation. I hope you try and reach a compromise for yours and the baby's sake as 8 weeks will fly by and is too soon. x

 

[Flick9670]

Thats so sad, you would think that being as it is your family and not in-laws they would understand and want you to have as much time as you need. I know that it is their business also, but seems really harsh to expect you back so soon! Maybe you could go back part time or even take the baby into work if it is family run business? A lot of people rely on grandparents for help.................. x

 

[Hoping for no2]

I personally think 8 weeks is very soon, particularly if having a section. Also, it may not be something you want to do, but would make it hard if you are planning to breastfeed. What kind of job do you do? If office based is there any possibility of working from home for a time? I was self employed working from home when I had my 2nd and couldn't afford to lose my clients, so only had 2 proper weeks off. I only worked about 2 days a week, but managed to do it really easily doing a bit each day, as newborns do sleep a lot. Maybe worth having a frank conversation with your family and explain how you are feeling? I'll only get SMP this time but we are just going to save as much as possible and seriously cut back on spending so I can have a year off. If you saved up could you even afford a couple of months on SMP? xx

 

[nat206ttc3]

I had a word with them yesterday.

I'm gonna take four months off, they gonna pay me for two and we will manage for 2 months on stat pay, hubby can get 26 weeks shared paternity but obviously he wants me to have as much time off as possible to bond with our baby and recover from major surgery.

Still not ideal but better than 8 weeks. Hubby will have the last two months off fully paid.

I still feel sad about it all and will miss her so much but just got to go with it. I will be working 28 hours when I come back so hopefully do it over a three day week.

Thanks for your replies x

 

[Flick9670]

I had a word with them yesterday.

I'm gonna take four months off, they gonna pay me for two and we will manage for 2 months on stat pay, hubby can get 26 weeks shared paternity but obviously he wants me to have as much time off as possible to bond with our baby and recover from major surgery.

Still not ideal but better than 8 weeks. Hubby will have the last two months off fully paid.

I still feel sad about it all and will miss her so much but just got to go with it. I will be working 28 hours when I come back so hopefully do it over a three day week.

Thanks for your replies x

Can you arrange to work from home at any time? That way working while baby sleeps so as to try and extend that further?

 

[nat206ttc3]

That could be an option. I haven't mentioned it to them yet though. Think they would prefer me to be in office x

 

[nat206ttc3]

I was gonna also bring her to the office as it's big enough etc...but my mum wants to reduce her days to let me work and for her to look after my baby. Honestly it's a tough one, hard situation. X

 

[Flick9670]

I was gonna also bring her to the office as it's big enough etc...but my mum wants to reduce her days to let me work and for her to look after my baby. Honestly it's a tough one, hard situation. X

So your mum would reduce her days so she could be with the baby so you could work more days and be away from the baby lol doesn't exactly seem very fair??? x

Sometimes parents can be a nightmare can't they! My mum wants to move in with me when the baby is here as she thinks this is her last grandchild, I just don't know how to say erm no way! In a nice way!!! x

 

[nat206ttc3]

Exactly!!! I don't know get why you would want to interfere as much. This is MY baby.

It's even harder now I work for them, I'm stuck in a rut and I'm not sure how to get out of it.

Oh no, seems our mums are similar eh? �� X

 

[Flick9670]

Did you have this with your other babies? I would have thought as a mum your mum would understand your want and need to be with your baby! I think sometimes my mum sees my son and my baby on the way as her kids, like she talks to my son as if she is his mum and it winds me up but it is the whole dont want to upset them or push them away...... at the same time it is our time to be families, they had the years of raising us, now it is our turn to raise our kids.... I hope to god I am not as pushy when my sons have babies!! x

 

[nat206ttc3]

Wow I could of wrote the exact same about my mum!

No cos I was working with the council and they paid my mat leave!

This is her 6th grandchilld and her first grand daughter which is making her more obsessed!

I want her to be involved and enjoy her but she needs to remember she is the gran not the mum. X