Lying

[angelcake89]

I don't know where this should go to be honest but I just need some advice.

My friend has told her ex that he's the father of her baby (she's 13 weeks pregnant on Friday) and the last time they slept together was august/september time and she got pregnant in october.

I've know her ex bf since I was tiny and I'm so angry about it, she's fooling him into thinking he's going to be a father when he isn't.

I know who the actual father is, and I accidentally let slip to my friend's ex's sister and we've talked about it and agreed not to say anything to anyone else for the time being because it's not fair for us to tell him yet.

I just don't really know what to do, I've been put in such a terrible position with my 'best' friend and a whole family I'm so close to. Though I'm not sure I ever want to be friends with someone who does that to someone else.

 

[Morganuk]

I would tell him.

No way can she do that to someone.

 

[Serendipity_]

I would tell him too. Because for one, if he found out you knew, he'd be angry, surely? Plus, think of the child.

 

[Jade&Evie]

I would stay out of it- it's her problem- not yours.

TBH though, if you've already mentioned it to one person chances are a few people know by now and it'll get back to him sooner rather than later.

Nothing will be proven til the baby is born anyway and by then you will have your own terror to deal with

 

[Morganuk]

The child is the most important thing here.
Can you honestly live with yourself knowing your carrying round a lie.
This is one of them situations where something HAS to be said.
Speak to her and try and get her to be honest first.

 

[angelcake89]

I would stay out of it- it's her problem- not yours.

TBH though, if you've already mentioned it to one person chances are a few people know by now and it'll get back to him sooner rather than later.

Nothing will be proven til the baby is born anyway and by then you will have your own terror to deal with

No it's definitely not his. The broke up in September and she moved down here and pretty much moved in with me for 6 weeks and she got pregnant at my birthday party thing and he definitely wasn't there. There is no possible way it could be his unless she collected a specimen and was turkey basting

I didn't quite say he wasn't the father to his sister I just said, "wait so has she told *** he's the father". And she kinda worked it out from there. His sister is trustworthy though, she won't break her promise to keep it quiet.

I just don't know what to do. I don't like the guy she's told is the father at all not remotely but he doesn't deserve this. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she'll tell him but I just can't see it happening and he doesn't deserve this. As soon as I say something though that's bubye to a long friendship with the girl, but I don't think I want to be friends with someone who does that to someone else.

 

[Morganuk]

I would stay out of it- it's her problem- not yours.

TBH though, if you've already mentioned it to one person chances are a few people know by now and it'll get back to him sooner rather than later.

Nothing will be proven til the baby is born anyway and by then you will have your own terror to deal with

No it's definitely not his. The broke up in September and she moved down here and pretty much moved in with me for 6 weeks and she got pregnant at my birthday party thing and he definitely wasn't there. There is no possible way it could be his unless she collected a specimen and was turkey basting

I didn't quite say he wasn't the father to his sister I just said, "wait so has she told *** he's the father". And she kinda worked it out from there. His sister is trustworthy though, she won't break her promise to keep it quiet.

I just don't know what to do. I don't like the guy she's told is the father at all not remotely but he doesn't deserve this. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she'll tell him but I just can't see it happening and he doesn't deserve this. As soon as I say something though that's bubye to a long friendship with the girl, but I don't think I want to be friends with someone who does that to someone else.

Sounds like you already know the best thing to do hun.
Follow your gut instinct hun

 

[Jade&Evie]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

 

[Morganuk]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

But if its definitely not his then does it really matter what anyone thinks?
I don't think anyone but her would be angry about this?
She is in the wrong for lying about something like this.

That's just my opinion on it though.
People have to do what they feel they can live with.

 

[ninjawomble]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

I agree, Ive had this happen to me

 

[angelcake89]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

But if its definitely not his then does it really matter what anyone thinks?
I don't think anyone but her would be angry about this?
She is in the wrong for lying about something like this.

That's just my opinion on it though.
People have to do what they feel they can live with.

I've text her and said that it's completely unfair what she's done, to me as well as him and I won't sit by and watch her lie to him when she knows full well who the dad is so she has to tell him or I will.

 

[angelcake89]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

I agree, Ive had this happen to me

I honestly think I can live with him not liking me, we don't get on well as it is, but I just don't think I can stand by and watch her do this to him.

 

[Morganuk]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

I agree, Ive had this happen to me

I honestly think I can live with him not liking me, we don't get on well as it is, but I just don't think I can stand by and watch her do this to him.

You have done the right thing imo.

This is how I look at it.

Being honest by the baby is far more important then the messenger being shot.

 

[angelcake89]

OK, but don't be shocked if it's a case of 'shoot the messenger'

I agree, Ive had this happen to me

I honestly think I can live with him not liking me, we don't get on well as it is, but I just don't think I can stand by and watch her do this to him.

You have done the right thing imo.

This is how I look at it.

Being honest by the baby is far more important then the messenger being shot.

Good! Thank you

The OH had to bully me into doing it a bit.

 

[Morganuk]

Hold your head up hun as you've done he right thing.