LTTTC feeling especially low

[cress]

So here I am, New to the forums and coming in on a really low note. My husband and I have been together since 2001, we have never used contraception yet still no baby. We have exhausted every fertility action that we could get on the nhs, we honestly can't afford to try anything private. After numerous tests and samples and invasive procedures they found nothing wrong with either of us.
I have recently been feeling more and more hostile towards pregnant people, then I feel guilty as its unavoidable, especially as I'm a nursery nurse.
You start to question yourself, am I that bad a person that I don't deserve children? And then you're sucked into the bubble of thinking no one else understands.
This is why I'm here, I'm looking for people who don't just say that it must be hard but who actually know just how hard it is.
(Especially when I'm having one of those months where all the symptoms show up but am to scared to even hope anymore)
Thanks. I think I may have just needed to rant a little bit.

 

[Dee28]

Hi cress, welcome, everyone here is very nice and understanding. Sorry you've been trying so long, have you gone down the IVF route? Xx

 

[Moley]

Hugs Cress!! Welcome you're in the right place lovely... I saw a pregnant woman on my way to work this morning dragging a toddler along and smoking a cigarette!! I wanted to smack the silly cow grrrrr.

M x

 

[cress]

Hi, we had one lot of ivf which was unsuccessful. Then my husband got cancer and my epilepsy worsened making us no longer qualifying.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who gets upset and cross. My worst cross part comes from inside my family. My younger sibling, who smokes and drinks and eats rubbish has had 3 children. She is several years younger than me. I'm pleased for her don't get me wrong but at the same time I can't help the why not me feelings.

 

[Blueflower]

Can totally sympathise. Looking at pregant women is so upsetting especially if it happened quickly for them or they don't appreciate it.

This forum is a great place to vent, ask questions and everyone is lovely and supportive. I've even heard that when some ladies eventually do get pregnant, they actually miss the LTTTC board!

 

[Dee28]

Hi, we had one lot of ivf which was unsuccessful. Then my husband got cancer and my epilepsy worsened making us no longer qualifying.

Gosh you have had a really rough time, I'm so sorry, I hope you have some miracle news, you deserve it xx

 

[Ann30]

I no how ur feeling. Even tho it's only been2 years I feel so low it's affecting every single area of my life. Have u thought of going down different routes? What about adoption? Me and my hubby said that we are going to have our 3 attempts of ivf next year then try other options as cant go on like this much more it's taken over our lives xxx

 

[Alwaystrying]

Can totally sympathise. Looking at pregant women is so upsetting especially if it happened quickly for them or they don't appreciate it.

This forum is a great place to vent, ask questions and everyone is lovely and supportive. I've even heard that when some ladies eventually do get pregnant, they actually miss the LTTTC board!

Lol this is me, always checking up on you ladies, you were all very supportive to me and I really hope to see more BFP's here xx

 

[cress]

Hmm. Thanks everyone, like I said it's just nice to be around others in the same situation. We have been informed due to various reasons that we would not qualify for uk adoption. We can't afford to go abroad to do it. We both agreed that if we're still not successfully in two years max then we look at a surrogate and see if that works. I am convinced that the problem is me even when the drs say they can see no problems.

 

[Ann30]

Ah Hun really hope it works out for u. Me and my hubby r unexplained too but I'm sure it must be me I'm sick of feeling like shit about myself tho and depressed literally all the time. I'm really thinking of going to the docs and seeing about anti depressants I just can't carry on feeling this way it's effected my whole life xxx sorry for being so depressing having such a low day xxx

 

[cress]

Oh Ann, I feel for you. I'm on antidepressants but they are very closely regulated alongside my epilepsy medication. I really didn't want to take them but I'm desperately trying to be hopeful it will happen for us and want to be well not just physically but mentally as well. I hope it happens for you too.

 

[Blueflower]

I am convinced that the problem is me even when the drs say they can see no problems.

Yes there's nothing officially 'wrong' with me but I always felt that my hormones might be a bit out of kilter and I panicked when my OH wasn't ready for children when I was because I felt that time wasn't on my side.

 

[cress]

I am convinced that the problem is me even when the drs say they can see no problems.

Yes there's nothing officially 'wrong' with me but I always felt that my hormones might be a bit out of kilter and I panicked when my OH wasn't ready for children when I was because I felt that time wasn't on my side.

I'm lucky in that my oh wants to have children as much as me, he worries about his age and not wanting to be too old (he's only in his mid 30's). I'm hoping this month, but I tend to hope that every month.

 

[cress]

Well not this month, arrived early and heavier than normal. Maybe next month???

 

[Dee28]

There is always next month my darling, we have to live by that hope xx

 

[Blueflower]

Oh sorry to hear that. My OH does want kids now, I think because its been taking so long he's realized that a family is important to him. Maybe TMI but last night just after we BDd, he put his hand on my tummy and said "swim, swim!" which I thought was really sweet!