Looking....

[CharlieOne]

I feel really stupid posting this

Last night i broke down in tears, i told my OH we need to look, we need to look for my Baby, i told him we hadnt even looked, he held me and kept whispering Sweetheart we wont find because there in heaven, in Heaven with Grandad, i was screaming No, we have to look for them both, and in the end bless him he said we'll look in the morning I spend most of the day in bed, i just didnt want to face the world, i still have visited my Grandad's grave and im struggling to think about going.... I just need to talk to someone, i just need to vent.....

 

[tracey 2]

hun

i cried whn i just read that i know the pain you are going through and believe me yes it hurt so badly, im sorry you are having a really hard time at the moment, use this forum to vent as much as you want.

Im always here if you need to talk anytime hun ok,

all my love xx

 

[CharlieOne]

Tracey,

I dont even know where to start, i want to talk, i need too, my chest is so heavy keeping things in.....

I began misscarring on the Wed, and Thrusday was in Hopstial, and while in Hosptail i was missing my Grandad funeral and i really really cant come to terms that i wasnt there, i cant bare to go to his grave because i feel ashamed i wasnt there to say goodbye, the night he died i was there earlier and i did tell him how much i loved him and i held his hand and i did say goodbye but i wasnt there on his final jounry and that is killing me......

 

[tracey 2]

hun you cant beat yourself up for something like that, im sure your grandad totally understands you were with him in your thoughts, im sure he is thinking of you so so much, and he is looking after your little one with him in heaven

iv sent you a PM hun xx

 

[happy-chick]

Im so sorry for your losses and the loss of your grandad, it must be so hard for you right now. Im sure your grandad is up there looking after your angels & wishing you weren't feeling so sad

If you wanna talk then give me a shout

 

[sarah113]

 

[Slinky Sarah]

Hi Mel i really hope your OK today....Thinking about you xxx

 

[babydust]

im sure your grandad would understand he is probabally up there now wishing you wouldnt be so hard on yourself

your grandad died knowing how much you loved him, alot of people dont get this chance so dont beat yourself up about not being there in his final journey as you were there when it mattered most.

 

[CharlieOne]

Thank You all for taking You time in repling to me, Means alot

BabyDust - Thank you for this:

"dont beat yourself up about not being there in his final journey as you were there when it mattered most."

This as really hit home, my OH and family have said it even since but it just didnt seem like to that, but hearing it off someone outside its really hit home i was there the night he died i held his hand told him how much i loved him i kiss him and i got to say goodbye while he still new who i was there, who i was and he even spoke to me....That can never be taken away from me, and if he was hear today he would of no doubting tried to be with me while i was in hopstial, he was beside me on the day of his funral...Looking after me, he took my Angel in his arms.....

I finally think i may of found what i was look for...and i think i may just have the corage to visit his grave.....

Thank you

 

[babydust]

 

[Tina & Gabs]