Long Rant...

[Charm]

Well where do I start...I think I just need to vent some steam.

I am 29years old, 30 in March and I really don't want to be 30. Scares the Sh*t out of me and I don't know why I don't feel any older!

I had a miscarriage last year in November, and again this year in June. Both at 6 weeks.

My MIL and FIL are just about starting to speak to me on the phone after we eloped to Gretna Green a year and a half ago to get married and didn't invite them (they suggested it).

My husband went to see his folks and was a bit upset so decided to tell them about the miscarriages (I told my folks ages ago). fair enough that's up to him. But now the MIL & FIL have a piece of stone from that fertility guy on the hill in cornwall and they dropped it off at our house yesterday.
It really upset me, I feel so offended, It's as though they think we need help and I feel as if everyone knows we've been trying and we're under pressure to announce or there has to be something wrong with us. Particularly me as I can get pregnant so to outsiders it's me that has a problem.
I told my hubby that I wanted the stupid stone out of the house and I threw it in the garden, he's now put it in his car.
I made him promise that he'll take it back to them this weekend.
But when they rang and asked if we'd got it and if I was ok my hubby lied and said I was fine with it. MEN!

My Hubby and I have just returned from a week in St Ives, Cornwall, lovely place, weather was good, fantastic beaches.
But the mistake we made was that we had a big family holiday (8 adults 3 kids) and all travelled down from Manchester in a minibus and we didn't get a minute to ourselves (so much for getting back to BDing) .

We have 2 cats and they're my babies, they do as they please and walk themselves but my Hubby has always been a dog person so after a lot of discussion we decided to go to Manchester Dogs Home and get a dog.
We only looked at about 10-20 out of the 150 and we both started to get upset for the poor things.
She is a lovely little Cross-Collie about 1yr old, she has a bad stomach at the minute what with all the upheaval so when we're home she goes outside but when we're out she leaves us loads of little presents.
I took her out at 6 and my hubby worked till 8 last night and then he took her for a walk so I feel like I never see him unless the dog is around us. I know it's not her fault.

I disinfect everytime I clean up after her but my house really stinks, and she constantly needs attention, I can't Fart without her being at the side of me.

I'm in a good job, with decent pay and I really enjoy it, I'm getting paranoid that my clothes stink of dog P*ss though. But I'm really fed up and beginning to feel that I want to stay in bed all day or sit at home in my PJ's and watch corny films all day.

Oh well, moan over, back to work and home at dinner to clean up the dog poo, the excitement never ends.

If you get to this last sentence without getting bored thank you for reading my rant.

Charm X

 

[weestar21]

awwwwwwwwww babes sinding you huge cyber (((((((( HUGS ))))))))

I dont really know what the stone is for and what it is meant for im really stupid to be honest. Maybe its a way of them showing how much they care

as for the dog have you tried speaking to your OH i know their is loads of dog training classes yous could take her too.

Hope your not getting over stressed as its not good for you when your TTC

Hope things get better for you very soon hun

anytime you need to talk add me to msn its
[email protected]

take care
love
Jean & girls
xxxxxxxxxx

 

[rach]

xxxxxxx

 

[arcanegirl]

((hugs))
I know what its like to have a dog follow you everywhere, when we got our dog (jack russel terrier) he would follow me everywhere, still does now but not as much. If he starts getting in the way then i just send him out of the room.

 

[Hypnorm]

I'm 29 and i am also 30 in february - can't quite believe it!

I think the stone is their way of helping even a peace offering, maybe they don't know how else to express it. Put the stone some where in your house and forget about it.
As to the dog, she has been through a major up stick from a dogs home which she would have thoughr as home to your 'Home' it will take her a while to acclimatise to you and probably feels very insecure hense following you around.

How long have you had the dog?
What food was she having at the centre and what is she being fed now?
How long is she left during the day?
Collies are very intelligent dogs and need mental stimulation, training or agility would be a great idea.
I've worked with dogs as a veterinary nurse for over 10yrs so if i can help please email me.

Don't be too hard on your self take time out relax, the more uptight you are the less likely you are to get your dream.

 

[Charm]

Thank you for all of the replies, I'm just feeling really sorry for myself and I don't have a clue when AF is due, I haven't done much BDing so no doubt she'll be on her way

We keep the new dog in the extension when we're out. It's large and the legnth of the house with plenty of daylight and room to walk around in.
I went home at dinner for half and hour to let her out and the toilet roll is all over the room and a bean bag now has a hole and little white balls are everywhere.
I didn't smack her bum or anything I just told her to "come here Millie" and she crawled to me on her belly as she knows she did wrong. She looked so sorry.

Hynorm - we got Millie on saturday, she's 12-18months old.
We take her out in the morning then leave for work around 8.00 and then I pop home at dinner and let her out again for a run around and then I get in about 5.30.
She was having IAMS but her stomach was really bad (could have been nerves) so she's now on Pedigree Chum mixed with a few Winalot biscuits.
But she still has a bad stomach.
She has lots of toys and walks and my hubby is looking to enrol her in training classes.
But she does seem to be settling in, she doesn't jump up as much. It's just the smell that bothers me and when we do have a baby how will I cope.

Thank you for the replies, I think I'll have a good chat with my hubby later and a bit of a cry.
Might even have a bubble bath and a glass of baileys.

Charm X

 

[skatty]

Hi Charm, sorry you feel down but I thought maybe you dog would benefit from crate training. It is big in America but people over here think its cruel but it really isn't. My dog (German Shepherd) was house trained by 10 weeks old and then only a few puddles. Basically when we went out or at bedtime we put her in a crate (cage). It sounds horrible but dogs descend from wolves and actually like a den and you can make it cosy, as soon as you let him out you take him to the garden. A dog won't go to toilet in his bed. In the day when she wanted a nap she'd go to her crate and she would keep all her toys in it. If we had to go out it kept her from harming herself while we couldn't keep an eye on her. I know your dog is already 1 but she sounds a bit insecure and this could make her feel better having a little corner to call her own.

Oh and now you have got her you will be pregnant before you know it

PS When my dog has a bad stomache I feed her small meals of boiled rice and chicken as recommended by the vet

 

[Charm]

Thanks Skatty, the dogs not really the problem.

I'm just fed up in general, I should also be studying for my accounting exams but I can't be bothered.

I'm going to have a nice chat with my hubby later.

Thanks for your help

Charm X

 

[Hypnorm]

So she has been on her own from 8-5 with only company for 30mins a total of 8.5 hours on her own.
That is a hell of a long time for a dog to be left on her own, no wonder she is chewing things, she is bored.
Sorry i'm not trying to have a go at you or anything that really is not my intention.
A 'cage is a good idea it means she will have her own space especially when you have the little one, the dog will be able to go a sleep and feel safe.

With the food it might be worth starving her for 24 hours then introduing a bland diet rice and chicken, i find in the past that pedigree chum can be quite rich and the tinned food in around 80% water!! if you look at the label. a dried food could be a better idea, a science diet like hills, for an active dog.

Have a look at this website it give you a bit of detail about a collie temperament and needs
http://www.bordercollie.ca/informat.htm

Did the shelter do a home check, or ask how long the animal would be left, as i know 80% of shelter will not rehome a dog if it is going to be left for a period of 3 hours or more.

I will ask a training friend of mine if she has any details on messing in the house and anxiety problems, did they say why the previous owners got rid of her??
an activity ball that gives out food could be good,

Sorry 4 the 20 questions

 

[cassi]

Hi, Sorry about your MC's and good luck with trying for a baby!!
Im sure your in laws didnt mean any harm by the stone it is probably just their way of trying to do something nice, they most likely didnt think it would hurt your feelings . I think its a good idea to sit and speak to your husband and tell him how you feel and get it all out in the open. I hope everything goes well for you.

On the other case I must agree with hypnorm on the dog issue..a dog really shouldnt be left for that long, thats why i too have cats. I am a dog person and so is my fiance but we have discussed it and we feel it wouldnt be fair as we work too.

The cage is a good idea and i know you said the dog isnt the problem but if she has a bad stomach she really needs to be seen to. The bland diet is good and also dry food instead of tinned food. Has she been wormed properly and every 3 months? if not then you definatly need to sort that out because a worm infestation can be very serious if left to grow and that usually starts with a bad tummy.

If she is still bad then id take her to the vet and have a poo sample sent off.

 

[Hypnorm]

Collies are very intelligent dogs and they need lots of mental stimulation and walks to release that energy. When they get bored they will find things to do and that is chew and become destructive.

I think you would have been better suited to a greyhound as they only require around 20 mins exercise per day, and they sleep loads.

If you think about it collies are working dogs, herding sheep all day etc

I would really consider whether a collie is suited to your lifestyle, if you are planning to stop work then it would be fine as she would have a companion and you would have time to train her and take her out.
But also consider when you have your little one, they will both be craving your attention.

Sorry but i've seen so many dogs put down or re homed again, because owners didn't have the time or they became desructive, or they had a kid.

i really hope you get your BFP soon but please remember a dog is for LIFE
and requires a lot of effort.

i am at home full time and would love a dog, but in reality i don't have time at the moment as i have my hands full with Ewan, though i do have one pet rat who i not getting the attntion he desrves.

 

[HayleyB]

we've got an old english sheepdog... she's all hyper and everything being a working dog and stuff...
and typically they have bad tummies.
We've got lu on the hills - natures best food for puppies, and stopped all dog meat, just made her worse.
We haven't done the cage method of house training, but DH works his own hours so he can come home every couple of hours to let her out.
I'm the dog person and i sometimes feel the same about smelling like pee, and we're constantly going through odour neutralisers for the carpets, esp when we first got her and she couldn't go through the night without peeing, and she's really good at missing the newspaper that was down!
Now she's in a bedtime routine (hard work!!!) she wakes Graham up if she needs to go out (luckily not me cos i'm so not one for being woken up!)

Its damn hard work, but you'll get there!

I feel the same sometimes about my miscarriages, everyone knows and asks how i'm doing, even in work cos the managers have had to pass my sick notes on to HR...
If you don't want the stone could I have it please? Could do with all the help!! lol!!
If i were you i wouldn't rush to get rid of it, if nothing else it won't do any harm to have it there, even if you put it in a drawer out of the way... at least its still there!!!

(and hopefully the in-laws will back off on the whole mc front!)

Good luck with ttc & with the puppy

xox

 

[Charm]

We spoke to the assistant working at the Dogs home and she didn't see it as a problem that she would be left during the day, she has a lot of room to run around in and long walks each day.
My FIL has a collie dog so I am well aware of their nature and requirements. He has offered to go to our house during the day and walk her.
She has been wormed, de-fleed, had her injections etc so I think the upset stomach is due to stress (she was dumped and rehoused and dumped again), we have only had her 4 days so it's understandable. She has lots of toys and a bed etc.
A greyhound would Kill my cats.

I wasn't asking for advice I just wanted to vent of some steam, I now feel worse...thanks

I think I'll take a break from this website for a while so please don't bother to reply.

 

[weestar21]

i guess a break will do you the world of good

we cant help but give help advice and support i thought that was what forum was for, sorry if you feel upset by us all trying to help

 

[Hypnorm]

A greyhound would Kill my cats

Not it would not that is a very bad rep of greyhounds, i have a close friend with a ex racer and 2 cats they get on fine, and i know very many clients who have greyhounds and cats. (now if you had rabbits that would be a different matter!! )

I'm sorry if you feel worse, but you did ask for our advice and we gave it,
if you have people who can walk her more often during the day then great do it, it will be great for both of you,
i'm just worried as you say she has been

(she was dumped and rehoused and dumped again)

why has she been dumped so much in her short little life, maybe the destructiveness is part of that.

I'm sorry you have been upset by the posts, we give advice here blunt, and sometimes its not liked.

I've just seen things like this happen in practice for years, and would hate to see you go through the pain of getting attahced to animal and then having to rehome her again if things don't go right.
She is following you every where because she wants your love and attention and to feel secure as she probably is waiting to get dumped again.