My Ept was diagnosed on 30th Dec. I was managed medically( despite having to fight so hard and being left for 6 DAYS before being given the first shot because my consultant kept trying to get me to "Change my mind") On 22nd January, I had the EPT removed by Laporotomy. I had not ruptured, but I had lost almost 2 pints of blood. Apparently this had been an ongoing slow leak as opposed to a sudden rupture. The ectopic was quite large by all acounts (6cm) and as far as I can calculate I was about 11 weeks pregnant on the day of the operation. The surgeon removed the tissue and was able to repair the tube. He knew how strongly I felt about this. I refused to let the original consultant carry out the procedure because quite frankly I didn't trust him.
Anyway the reason I am posting here now, is I am feeling very low and very angry.
The only day my OH took off work to be with me in this whole thing was the day I was actually taken in to hospital as an emergency.
He already has an 11 year old son from a previous relationship. He does not want his son to know the exact nature of what happened to me. In short he has no idea about the pregnancy at all.
I know its quite normal for men to "Carry on as normal" but I am really struggling - we have his son stay with us about 25% of the time. In addition to not taking any time off work to be with me, OH also has kept the childcare schedule the same. Something I really struggle with - especially as I have to keep my "secret" from his son.
To top it all off, recently his son has started complaining about strange unidentifiable stomach pains.(He knows I had an operation on my stomach, but that all) This has happened both weekends he has stayed at our house since I got out of hospital.
On Saturday OH's son was "too ill" to get off the sofa, so OH left me to look after him all afternoon while he went to town to pick meet a friend and pick up a few groceries. (On Valentines Day to top it off !)
I am so screamingly angry that he expects me to be skip though being able to look after another woman's child when I have gone through a major operation and lost two pregnancies in six months. For goodness sake, OH should be looking after me - not expecting me to have the strength either physically or emotionally to care for anyone else right now.
I've been out of hospital less than 3 weeks and this is just too painful for me to deal with - especially with what feels like zero support or empathy from his side.
I have tried to explain, but I just get emotional. OH tells me I am "crazy" and "nasty" for being like this - but I can't help it. I don't want to take it out on an 11 year old - but this questionable "stomach pain" ( which disappears with promise of x-box or visits to friends) he seems to have developed is to be frank quite upsetting. Especially as this "questionable" illness seems to take precedent over my very real operation.
( this really is a long vent)
So yeah. I've got a whole melting pot of raw stingy emotions heating up right now
Also allow me to add to the long spiel of everything that is wrong in the universe right now...
My Gran died on the 18th Jan. I couldn't go to the funeral cos I was in hospital.
That is knocking me sideways as well.
I just feel like *everything* is being taken away from me all at once, and everyone else just expects me to keep quiet and get on with it like a good little girl.
OH has been resigned to the spare bedroom. I do love him very much but his refusal to move on this, and wanting to stick to the "normal" routine is driving me to despair. I honestly don't know how the hell I am going to get through this, I feel like I want to take a holiday from my own life
Anyway the reason I am posting here now, is I am feeling very low and very angry.
The only day my OH took off work to be with me in this whole thing was the day I was actually taken in to hospital as an emergency.
He already has an 11 year old son from a previous relationship. He does not want his son to know the exact nature of what happened to me. In short he has no idea about the pregnancy at all.
I know its quite normal for men to "Carry on as normal" but I am really struggling - we have his son stay with us about 25% of the time. In addition to not taking any time off work to be with me, OH also has kept the childcare schedule the same. Something I really struggle with - especially as I have to keep my "secret" from his son.
To top it all off, recently his son has started complaining about strange unidentifiable stomach pains.(He knows I had an operation on my stomach, but that all) This has happened both weekends he has stayed at our house since I got out of hospital.
On Saturday OH's son was "too ill" to get off the sofa, so OH left me to look after him all afternoon while he went to town to pick meet a friend and pick up a few groceries. (On Valentines Day to top it off !)
I am so screamingly angry that he expects me to be skip though being able to look after another woman's child when I have gone through a major operation and lost two pregnancies in six months. For goodness sake, OH should be looking after me - not expecting me to have the strength either physically or emotionally to care for anyone else right now.
I've been out of hospital less than 3 weeks and this is just too painful for me to deal with - especially with what feels like zero support or empathy from his side.
I have tried to explain, but I just get emotional. OH tells me I am "crazy" and "nasty" for being like this - but I can't help it. I don't want to take it out on an 11 year old - but this questionable "stomach pain" ( which disappears with promise of x-box or visits to friends) he seems to have developed is to be frank quite upsetting. Especially as this "questionable" illness seems to take precedent over my very real operation.
( this really is a long vent)
So yeah. I've got a whole melting pot of raw stingy emotions heating up right now
Also allow me to add to the long spiel of everything that is wrong in the universe right now...
My Gran died on the 18th Jan. I couldn't go to the funeral cos I was in hospital.
That is knocking me sideways as well.
I just feel like *everything* is being taken away from me all at once, and everyone else just expects me to keep quiet and get on with it like a good little girl.
OH has been resigned to the spare bedroom. I do love him very much but his refusal to move on this, and wanting to stick to the "normal" routine is driving me to despair. I honestly don't know how the hell I am going to get through this, I feel like I want to take a holiday from my own life