Trying really hard to be cheerful ......

[reallyoldmum]

I know what I am going through is nothing compared to some of you but today has been so hard. On top of the most awful AF pains and still feeling sick to my stomach I have had to be cheerful as we hadnt told my son we even thought I was pregnant ...... I know I only knew I was pregnant for 5 days but it was so really - even after last month with the tests starting out so promising I was so excited - felt like there was a light in side of me and now I feel so stupid.

My son is 17 and a typical teenager - knows everything and is always right and has spent all day helping me grout the ensuite - during the day he must have told me I was old about 10 times - he has no idea how much I am hurting at the moment and when I couldnt help a tear falling and he noticed he just said - oh god mum it must be the time of the month again that would explain why you are so touchy!!

Anyway sorry to go on but I feel so down and upset tonight - my boys are downstairs watching the rugby and I just feel so sad I know I will get over this and the great news is my hubbie is going to see the doctor with me on Thursday to see what we can do if anything so at least thats positive but only yesterday I still had the chance that my little bean would hold on and now its gone.

 

[littlepip]

ohh im so sorry to hear that
i think its one of the most difficult things a person has to go through. Ure son was obviously just being a typical teenager they always think there parents are old. i dont think it matters what age you are at all, my mums always saying shes old but shes only 43 on monday! I know ure going trhough a lot and its a really hard time and i hope you feel better

 

[DaisyRose]

Really sorry to hear of your troubles.

My girls are only very little but I am very glad I never said anything to them about expecting a baby as the older one particularly, would have been really upset when I m/c at 6 weeks. My experience of teenage boys is limited to my brother (who is now 30) but it sounds like they think the world of you and would want whatever would make you really happy.

Good luck with the doc.

 

[libs]

Josh tells me how old I am 10 times a day because to them we are

and the time on the month thing is just a male comment - you don't have to be cheerful - in fact don't - I did that and then 6 weeks later felt like my world had crashed round me and realised I never really got upset at the time

 

[xrachx]

 

[DaisyRose]

It must be really really difficult for you to carry on as normal in front of your son, my thoughts are with you.

I must admit, I did a really bad job of hiding my grief from my girls when I miscarried 3 months ago - it sounds really dreadful but I just wanted someone else to come and take over whilst I curled up in a corner somewhere. They knew something was really wrong and my eldest wouldn't let me out of her sight for days & kept hugging me. I had to take them to the scan that confirmed the mc and it was pretty difficult being cheerful about 'the picture of Mummy's tummy'. It is so difficult just carrying on with everyday things - there are reminders everywhere - school, playgroup, pregnant friends!! Things have got better now we are trying again but am still a nightmare at the end of each month!

All the very best - it does get a little easier, honestly.

 

[mary70]

so sorry hun but teenage boys r very thoughless take my word for it but i am sure he doesnt mean to upset u,if you ever want to chat just pm me

 

[Steelgoddess]

Oh Hon sory to hear your feeling so low.

Comments like that really don't help, i couldnt understand from your post but have you told your son??

Im sure he doesnt mean those comments so try not to take them to heart although I know its easier said then done when you are feeling so low...

I wish you all the best for your appointment...

xx

 

[reallyoldmum]

Thanks everyone - no we hadnt told our son - after the chemical last month we wanted to wait a while so didnt say anything to anyone. Bless him he had no idea what has been going on, just thought I was grumpy because of AF!! Anyway yesterday my daughter rang from Uni and I ended up telling her, she was so lovely and then after our phone call she rang her brother and had a quiet word with him. He came up to me gave me a big hug and told me he was so sorry - we had a long chat and although he thinks its kind of odd that we would want another one at "our ages" when I pointed out that I was very young when I had him he agreed that most of his friends parents were about 15 years older than me....... He then seemed to understand more even said it was dead cool having a trendy mum but he didnt want to think about how I might get pregnant!! LOL obviously too much information for him at his age.......


Anyway DH was lovely all weekend - keeps on saying we are going to the doctors to get some womb glue!! It was so hard last week as he wouldnt acknowledge I was pregnant but over the weekend he admitted he was too scared to and he did know just didnt want me to get excited - I said but you saw the sticks - he said a stick is just a stick - I knew from looking at you....... Bless him I do love him just sometimes he isnt on the same planet as me

Anyway a new week starts and I have to get on with life now - determined to get some answers on Thursday so I will focus on that and see how it goes.

Thanks for putting up with my ramblings.......

Jane x