how long should it take?

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by bazil0210, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. bazil0210

    bazil0210 New Member

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    I miscarried at 12 weeks in September 2007. Both myself and my partner were obviously heartbroken. He only had 2 days off work with me as he was doing a placement. Since he went back to work I have felt so alone. I went back to work at the beginning of October after having 2 weeks off. I have a relatively close family but only one of them has actually asked me how I am, it seems no one wants to know how I'm feeling or even cares. My partner won't even talk about it now and it feels like he's blaming me.
    When I went to the hospital I was given the option of going home and letting everything go naturally or booking in to have a D & C. I decided to do everything at home and started losing the day after. I do feel for my partner as he saw more that day than any man should ever have to see. I lost so much blood I had to be admitted to hospital as I kept passing out.
    We decided after the miscarriage that we would try again and haven't been using contraception since. I have a son from my marriage and he has 3 kids from his marriage & relationship.
    Sometimes when I'm driving home or if I am on my own I wonder if I could have done anything different. I don't smoke or drink and my partner is wonderful. It was the worse thing I have ever had to go through as it is for any woman. I cry myself to sleep every night, I am greatful for my son but feel redundant now he has started school.
    Four months down the line I'm not pregnant and have been gutted every month since when I have started my period. Although I try not to show it so as not to upset anyone. I think we actually stopped trying to get pregnant in November because we moved and it was very stressful.
    My best friend is pregnant and is due in 10 weeks I was due a couple of weeks after her, so I have been trying to help her as best as I can as it is her and her partner's first child.
    Am I putting too much pressure on myself to get pregnant again so soon?
    Could someone advise me on how long it should take to get pregnant again.
     
  2. MissSara

    MissSara Well-Known Member

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    I really feel for you hun and no what you are going through.
    Like you i also miscarried in september with twins and also like you my friend is due on the same day that i would have been due with my lil ones. It is hard and yes i think about them all the time, my OH saw me in so much pain and we even had to take out the new bathroom carpet because of all the blood i lost and was unable to control it, so then i had to be taken in for a D&C as not everything had come away like they suspected it should have.

    As you can see from my ticker i am now 10weeks pregnant, and no it does not replace or make me think any less about the twins that should be due in march. We were one of the lucky couples to get caught straight away, but the key to my sucess was that i wasn't to hard on myself, i wasn't forcing oit to happen it just happened when my body was ready and my mind was clear.
    I still don't like to talk about my twins to OH, after i found out i was PG he didn't want to talk about them and just wants to talk about the new baby, but it is good to talk and thats what i do on here amongst people that have been through the same.

    If you do want to talk just pm me hun xxx
     
  3. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    Im really sorry for your loss. I dont know how long it will take after a m/c but just wanted to offer my support.
     
  4. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    im sorry i dont know anything about ttc whether just after m/c or not, but i wanted to say im sorry for your loss, and lots of luck when you are ready for ttc. :hug: :hug:
     
  5. CB23

    CB23 Well-Known Member

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    Hello and welcome :hug: :hug: I lost my baby at 9 weeks in September too, it all sounds so similar. I opted to deal with it naturally just like you. Four months later here I am still trying.

    There is no 'how long it should take' there is only how long it takes you. Don't be disheartened by those that say I am pregnant again just because it hasn't happened to you, please although I know it is hard. You've had some difficult months, what with the miscarriage, 2008 dawning with no pregnancy and I am sure you are thinking just like me every month brings your edd closer. I sincerely hope that you are pregnant again soon, in the meantime join us in the trying to conceive forum or pm me anytime if you want to talk.
     
  6. Steelgoddess

    Steelgoddess Well-Known Member

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    Firstly, im so sorry about your loss. :hug:

    I know that when I miscarried (in sept aswell) nothing hurt as much as getting my second period, my first was fine because it told me everything was returning back to normal, but after that we start ttc and the second cycle hit me very very hard, I felt so upset/angry emtionally confused.

    I think its nautral to want to conceive after miscarriage, not as a replacement but like you said not to feel redundant, and just to know things will be ok again.

    Give it time, track your cycles it will happen sooner then you think and when you least expect it.

    A;ll the best

    x
     

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