Lodger aargghhh Rant!!!

[hellywelly]

I cannot BELIEVE the attitude of this guy. What he is doing is NEGLECT AND IS ILLEGAL!!!!!!! The fact he doesn't even ask if it is ok for you to look after his child and just goes out is mind boggling. I know you said you didn't want to get him in any trouble but I think you would feel more guilty if something awful happened to his daughter and the responsibility lay with you as you were the only adults in the house.

I would tell him straight up today that the next time he leaves her in the house, regardless of whether you are in or not, that you will be contacting the child's mother and asking her to come and collect the little girl, and you will be telling the mum that this is not the first time this has happened. Quite frankly he doesn't deserve to see his child if he thinks what he is doing is okay.

You then need to discuss a specific moving out date with your OH and present it to wanker (sorry, meant lodger, fingers slipped) and if his stuff isn't gone then change the locks on that date. What he is doing is COMPLETELY unacceptable and is putting not only a small child at risk but you and your baby's health at risk as well from all the stress you are under.

 

[Sarah13]

That's terrible. You need to give him his notice today so you all know where you stand. The stress isn't doing you and baby any good, and you def need some privacy now anyway to nest and relax. I agree with helly, if it happens again ring the girls mother to come and collect her, poor little thing must have woken up so confused and wanting her mum, and that wasn't fair on your daughter to see to her but luckily she did!

 

[tinytoes]

You know what ? if that was my little girl I would want to know, I would be furious . Does her mum know you ? I dont mean it to sound harsh but if my child was left alone all night with a strange family i would be so upset . Honestly even if she does decide he cant see his daughter anymore then fair play to her !He is taking advantage of you , he's irresponsible and selfish . Your Daughter shouldnt have had to comfort her and you dont need the stress

 

[Bee7]

Totally agree with what the other girls have said. This is disgusting behaviour. What if your daughter hadn't been in? Would the little girl have laid there crying all night? Unbelievable that this pillock can actually think it's ok to sneak out of the house without telling anyone and leave his daughter with people who don't even know she's in their care! She is HIS responsibility not yours. If he were a lodger that didn't know you on a social level, would he still think this was ok? I don't know, but either way he's taking advantage and with you being pregnant it makes it even worse.

I would have a serious word with your OH today. Tell him how angry you are and that you seriously are going to contact the mother if this happens again. At least then everyone has some prior warning and if OH doesn't bother saying anything or lodger ignores it then you have told them already and can't be blamed for the consequences. I feel so sorry for this little girl.

 

[suzzi]

i spoke to other half this morning when he finished golf, and he didnt know either that lodger had gone out we had a bit of a heated conversation and he said he would ring the lodger, not heard whats been said yet, but i did tell OH that he must tell lodger that he is not to leave her again regardless of whether he tells us, i told OH i will have no problem in phoning social services if he does, and i bloody mean it

if lodger gets in before OH ill be having words too, something along lines of, its not my daughters responsibility to look after your daughter and i think its irresponsible of you to even consider going out and leaving her anytime as well as not telling us, and its not the first time, i will tell him that if he wants to see his GF that much he either takes her with him, GF comes to us or he takes little girl home to mum.

i will also be asking for a date which he is moving out.

 

[Iriki]

Good on you!! Hope he sits up and takes notice!!!

 

[tinytoes]

Hope it improves now x

 

[BabyBrain]

Hun don't ask him for a date give him a date. It's your house and you can serve him a month's eviction notice whenever you like.
This is disgusting behaviour, can you imagine how a 5 year old feels crying her eyes out and being comforted by relative strangers when all she wants is her dad? If he was my ex he'd get a smack in the ear and supervised visits only if I found out about this.
Also at 5 she's obviously at school and could be bringing any kind of school bugs to your house. If he's out and she's throwing up who's going to clean her up and tend to her? You need to put your foot down hun.
Failing that message me your address and i'll chuck him out for you lol (very hormonal this morning) xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sassysugar]

What a terrible situation for you What if there had been a fire in your house and you don't know she's there? He has got to take responsibility for her rather than seeing his gf!! Why can't child go with him to gf's house?

I really hope you get this sorted as you don't want to spend the last weeks of your pregnancy stressed!!

 

[MrsHakaxjdx]

aaawww hunny this is awful, not only is it causing you stress, your relationship, your own daughter and the little girl. Poor child. Hope you have had a right go at him x x

 

[suzzi]

thanks for all your support ladies it has really made a difference xxx

i spoke to OH who asked lodger what he was up to , lodger said he saw us on sofa (lounge door has glass in) and tried to get out attention but couldnt WTF the door has a handle and does actually open!! he assumed we werent going out so off he went. OH told him it wasnt on etc, Oh said he would be having words face to face when he saw him, lodger hasnt been back since!!!

but whether OH has words im going to as well as OH will be quite soft where im going to tell him what i think. and use some of your lots advice. and im definatley gonna get a moving date, he may even feel that guilty that he'll go sooner.

will keep posted xx and thank you again x x x

 

[Sarah13]

Glad your more positive about sorting the situation out, hopefully it won't be long until he goes and you can relax properly x

 

[Geminiblue]

Its called neglect in my book, AND doesnt matter about the mothers attitude this is a direct result of his behaviour and he has to face the consequences....telll the mother??? Id tell the authorities. She is a child not a dog. this sort of thing makes me mad and its on your shoulders. You poor thing. I would say to him out right, dont wait for your OH and as you say if anything happens to you what are you going to do with her? If this is his attitude to his child then he doesnt deserve to see her, so many fathers/people want children and cant arrrrgggghhhh

 

[MrsHakaxjdx]

Glad somethings been said x x xx

 

[angelmma]

OMG I cant believe this. If my ex was doing this I would want someone to tell me, my daughters safety is paramount and I would be wanting to know that her daddy was looking after her and he wasnt just swanning off with his GF.Its not right what hes doing, its not youre responiblity to look after her and he doesnt even ASK!!! let alone inform you that hes away. I know that this is a terrible thought, but what if something happened, you could be assured he'd blame yous. To be honest I know his ex might be cow but it doesnt sound like he even really cares about his child, cause its only one night he has her and would freely leave her sleeping in the house on her own. Maybe he doesnt have common sense but even my 9 Year old daughter would know not to do that. Hes taking advantage of you and your OH's good nature!!! Id be doing like the other girls suggested and giving him a months notice. And if he pulled a stunt like that again within the month Id contact the mother or social services. Cause I for one would hate this to be happening to my little one and not know about it. Sorry I've went into a rant, just made my blood boil. Best of luck chick xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

You go girl and give him the full force of your hormones.....will wait patiently for the video xxxxxxxx

 

[suzzi]

hi all well ive spoke to lodger, managed to keep calm just, he came in to apologise i told him how irresponsible he was and that it was his responsibility to look after her. and was stupid to leave her as anything could have happened, he said 'she was asleep when i left and thought shed sleep through,' i told him he cant just do it as its not the first time, and he cant assume shes ok

i said if his daughter was to tell her mum all hell would break loose and that would be worse for him in the long run as shed stop his daughter coming over. his excuse was that want his ex didnt want the little girl seeing his new GF, i said it was his life and she couldnt really tell him what to do when the child was in his care his ex is very controlling and still tries to control him, but if she found out about this she would have every tight to stop him having her over night

he couldnt apologise enough but i said to him he had the opportunity for his GF to come to ours and there was no excuse for his behaviour

i dont think he will be doing it again.

hopefully now i can be stress free and relax, oh and he is moving out next weekend x

 

[Iriki]

Sounds like you have everything sorted out now!!
Hopefully he's learnt his lesson.
Now you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

 

[Sarah13]

Great news, glad you can relax now!

 

[Bee7]

Good news, glad you confronted him. If his ex didn't want the little girl being around his new gf, that's quite understandable. Especially if they've not been together long. The answer to that is simple though...don't see his gf for one night a week. Not rocket science!

Glad you had it out with him anyway, there's definitely no excuse now if he does it again xxx