Leaving baby for the first time

[Rayoflight]

Bit of a pointless thread really but I'm wide awake worrying.

I'm at the dentist later. Been desperate for treatment since I got pregnant but there's been nothing they can do as they couldn't xray me. I'm not one bit scared of the dentist, I could potentially be in for a few hours and have teeth removed today and I'm not arsed. I am however petrified of leaving Blake for the first time!

It's absolutely ridiculous, he will be with his Dad and I've expressed a couple of bottles for him but the thought of not having him near me is actually making me feel sick.


Also, my friends are trying to organise a gathering over Xmas. I'd agreed and said we could go thinking in my head that it was weeks away. I dunno why but i didn't even think that I'd have to leave Blake, in my head i just saw me taking him along. A meal has been booked at a posh restaurant for the 23rd and today I realised it's only 10 days away and proper panicked. I cancelled. I'm not ready to leave him all night and I'm not ready for a big piss up yet. My friends don't have kids and I don't think they fully understand (the girl who's organised it was a bit pissed off I think!).

Was anyone else like this?

 

[Yodabo]

I asked this same question when Drake was a couple of weeks old. I was invited to a Halloween party and I cancelled! I just couldn't do it. I still can't do it. We've had loads of people offering to look after him but 10 weeks down the line I still can't do it. I remember I left him with my hubby for 20 minutes when he was a couple of weeks old late one night as I had to go down and feed my parents cats (I forgot to earlier!) and I couldn't get out of there quick enough..felt like apart of me was missing!

Little bits like that with OH have helped mind, gradually I started poppinh out without him, popping to the shops etc. I feel more confident leaving him with him now..only for short periods but we're getting there! One thing I have learned though is that Drake is absolutely fine when I come back and all in one piece! I think once we've got over that first time then it gets better!

Good luck with the dentist Hun, Blake will be absolutely fine. Just think of it as some male bonding time. I think men need to experience this with their child from time to time.

 

[ZMD]

i left tegan with OH for the first time last weekend when she was 5 weeks old as my mum was in hospital after having a heart attack. i hated it! walking out of the door without her felt so strange i have left her with oh twice since its getting a little easier. you will b fine hun x

 

[Rayoflight]

I am hating feeling like this. Just about to express for him and I could cry!

 

[Loveleen]

Oh dear...dont feel so bad..I can understand as I am in same boat...I just cant leave my son with anybody - husband/parents..I never thought i will become like this..I think its difficult for the first few times but hoping with time it gets better

 

[tinkerbell86]

I haven't left H yet and he's nearly 10wks old!I left him when he was first born as I had to go to theatre and have had to leave him outside when I've had hosp apps or physio which is about 30mins a time!I'm meant to be leaving him with my mum over the wknd and aren't looking forward to it!but ill have to as I got a xmas do next thurs with work!so I know how you feel!!

 

[lanny]

I'm am trying my best with herbie to be different and I leave him with o/h a lot really in this snow I have had to as I cant get out with the double buggie.
but my first two where so clingy monty is fine now at 6 he likes getting a brake from us I think but dolly is terrible at two she never leaves my side and I think must of it is my own fault
. I'm 100% fine with o/h but couldnt even stand ppl feeding my other two etc and then when they got to 6 months they wouldnt even sit on my mums knee without screaming.
I would feel sick as soon as I left and have even seen myself say crying at the bus stop lol
But I really dont think I did them any good as when monty started school it was terrible he screamed for wks dolly will go to nursery next year and I know she will be the same.
So with herbie I'm gunna try my best for my worrying not to hold him back and hopefully maybe he just might not be so clingy .

 

[Yodabo]

Ha, you sound exactly like me lanny! My 7yr old was so clingy it was unreal. He cried every single day he was in nursery to the point of me thinking they were doing something to him (me being silly!) i was the same as you, i done everything for Dom. even feeding him i done solely as he liked to be fed a certain way. As a result he screamed with everyone except my dad (must have been the moustache lmao) so i'm determined not to let Drake be like it, cant afford to really with 2 other kids that need my attention. I'm letting DH take control more now, suggesting things if Drake gets upset etc..its working and he's learning to settle with him now!

 

[twinkle84]

How did you get on hun? I was going to suggest could hubby and Blake go with you? even to be in the waiting room, to have him near by. Anyway I bet now you did it, it wasnt so bad? But I totally understand. Had to go the docs the other day and I left Aiden with my mum for half hour and I felt like something had been ripped out of me. I needed to get home asap. I hated it, I need him with me all the time at the moment! Totally know what you mean about friends too and going out. They dont understand at all. You just need to take it at your own pace. This is a magical time and they only little once. At some point we will be glad of the break, just not yet! Ive cancelled stuff too. Was supossed to go out for friends engagment and I said we will get a take away instead. Then my hubby on nights and a friend is stopping and she said 'oh ill take him for a walk in morning and let you hav a lay in' and I said rather quickly 'NO you wont' xx

 

[Rayoflight]

Ha ha how did she react?! I have some friends badgering me to look after Blake but I'm just not ready.

Shaun and Blake couldn't come with me because we had builders due round to replace the front brickwork I smashed into! Oops. It was so tough leaving him but he was absolutely fine and I had nothing to worry about!

Aiden is so damn cute, was looking through your pics of him on FB. X

 

[flexilexi394]

Well done for leaving him! I know it wasn't long but it's a step forward. I don't understand why people thing that just because their your friends, they have this right to be first for babysitting?! One of my friends across the road tested me the other day saying "my mum said if you personal train her she will baby sit whenever you want" I just replied saying "haha personal training is £25 per hour, I don't need a babysitter just yet!" it annoys me, because I don't want to leave my baby with them. And a few of my other friends have been like "I'll come straight round when you get home from the hospital" I'm like "dont waste your energy, I won't let you in!"
Sorry to take over your thread, I just don't like some peoples assumptions that your just going to leave your baby willy nilly with whoever. If anyone, it will be my mum or MIL that looks after baby if absolutely necessary! X

 

[Squeakz]

sorry to crach but i know how you feel. I made sure i left josh with oh straight away so i wouldnt get in to a tizzy with it but leaving him with friend is a nono. They have the best intentions but i just wouldnt trust his behaviour with them tbh. That and when one friend came over a few weeks after he was born, she refused to support his head as 'it wouldnt fall off' so had to remove him. Even now i wouldnt trust her with him.....which is a shame cos she is really nice.....
x

 

[Rayoflight]

"it wouldn't fall off" !?!?!?!??! Oh my god!!!

And lexi your mates mum sounds like a right cheeky cow!!! X

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I left Jasper for the first time to see Hawkwind he had a GREAT time with our friend Shane and didnt wake up during the night at all

I feel a bit miffed that he didnt miss us really!

was great and has freed me up to go out for NYE so will be off all night

glad we have a chilled out little man who doesnt mind us nipping off for the odd party