Last name :(

[siouxie]

I have told my partner the baby is going to have my last name as since I have had her and even before we have been arguing a lot. It isn't just an argument he is very nasy when we do, calling me nasty names and saying horrible things like i will make you a single mother and calls me a nasty c**t.
He brought one thing for her for christmas and nothing before she was born or since.

He has said if i give her my last name he will have nothing to do with me, so its my dessions if i want that or not, which is blackmail yet he says im blackmailing him by saying if he pulls his socks up i will change it.

And if i dont give his name he will reak havock for my family slashing my tyers put a brick thro my window and doesnt want the present i gave him for christmas and wants back what i brought him.

The only time he seams to be interested is when we argue saying he wants to see his daughter yet when were not arguing i sometimes dont hear from him in days.

 

[LYLLJellyTots]

So the man is an abusive control freak? Babe re read what you have just written, if you read this from your best friend or your family you would be absolutely raging inside. You and baby both deserve better. I am with you, I would not be giving my child the last name of such a bully nor would I be bullied into doing it.

I remember reading your other threads too babe, His behaviour is NOT acceptable, not for you and not for baby. I hope you find the help and the strength you need to send him packing. If you are scared ring the authorities and get some back up. I am sorry if this post sounds really harsh I dont mean it to but that behavour is completely not acceptable. He is threatening you and your family...bricks through windows?? slashed tyres??

Please PM me if you need to talk xxxxx Big hugs xxxxxx

 

[siouxie]

Thanks. I've written about it again as I've got until Tuesday to register her. I'm fed up with his behavior n really couldn't care less now. I'm just worried I don't want him n my dad fighting. My dad can handle him self but obviously the babys dads a lot younger then my dad n worried he would get hurt or her dad would get hurt n bear a grudge n do something stupid. I feel like his only.bothered about his last name and nothing else. He keeps messaging me and saying his coming to get her 2mro n take her out by him self. I don't want him to his been so nasty I'm worried he will take her for hours n just bring her back when he feels like it and ignore my calls about her

 

[NinjaKitty]

Personally Hun as you're not living together and to be frank he's acted in a really abusive way I wouldn't let him go off with her.

You've got to protect you and your baby. If you're worried about him kicking off and being violent with your Dad then that probably tells you everything you need to know For me the issue here is for you guys to stay safe


Using Tapatalk can't see no tickers grrrrr.

 

[Linny1989]

Hell no!! No man can talk to a women and get away with it! Get rid hun! If all he is worried about is the surname of this baby then thats nothing compared to the day to day wories ur having to cope with!

He should be lucky ur even putting him on the certificate coz from what it sounds like he dont deserve it!

Sorry to moan at u hun but u sound like u have a strong head and u need to use all that strength to care for u n ur baby not him! Really make sure u make the right decision hun. But i rekon u can do all this by ur self. u dont need someone like that dragging u down xx

 

[Jaxx01]

I would only let him see her if someone is there... He is threatening all sorts and that's not on! I personally would give baby your surname. He needs to prove he wants to be a dad and not just wants the status iykwim??

I think like LLYL said if you reread your original message you will see this isn't right x

 

[BevG]

id give her your surname and id tell him since hes being so intimidating he can talk to a solicitor about supervised visitation. if he does anything to you or your family just call the police, hes an adult and he knows better so dont make excuses for him or try to protect him, its your daughter you need to protect now from her own father by the sound of it

 

[siouxie]

Thanks everyone. I'm so peed off he just turned up and my mum let him in not thinking he came in my room chucked his Christmas present down waited till she woke up as we was both still sleeping, then when she woke up instead of saying move up I'm changing her just shoved my legs out the way and switched the lights when I said to him don't push me. I've came down stairs as I can't bear to look at him and his just sitting up there feeding her. I don't know if he thinks his taking her out but there's no way I'm letting him if he trys to take her il call the police Bcos I'm not arguing/fighting with him when the babys in him arms incase she gets hurt.

 

[Linny1989]

Hun this IS NOT a relationship! U need to set the rules and tell him straight. U carried your child for 9 months. How he thinks he can treat u like that os beyond me x

 

[Daisy2011]

Hi Honey, you are a mum now and its your job to protect your child from someone who you are afraid of. Its up to you to make a boundary and not let him cross it. You have to be strong now.
If you are geniuinely afrid that he will assult you or your family then its time to talk to the police and your parents. Its time to control a situation that could very easily get out of hand.
Do it when you are calm and when he isnt there. Make a choice either to let it happen or do something to change things for the better.

You can do it,
good luck
X Daisy

 

[siouxie]

Her dad begged me all weekend makin promises of marrying me and knows his been selfish and his gunna help ect. I told him if he keeps to all them promises I will change it in 6 months time, minus the marriage. I don't really want to get married but it was do the name now or never basically. After he went I thought about it and decided to give him to opportunity of using both surnames. But hs responses was it sounds s**t and he doesn't want anything to do with either of us and he will explain to her when she's older. :/ so I registered her under my name with out him on the birth cert as he refused to come and just started being nasty. I know his upset but he should care more about his daughter then if he doesn't get his own way say his done with her. His mum used to constantly moan about him and say how he brings her down to me that's what the whole conversation has been with her for the 6 Years we have been together but now she seams to be funny with me. I messaged her this morning to ask her to ask him if he was going to come and put both out names down n all she keeps replying is. I'm can't believe this is happening I'm very upset. Well so am I. I'm not doing it to be nasty.

 

[LYLLJellyTots]

I can't believe after everything he has done that you have said about you would even consider being with someone like that. I think you are too busy trying to give your daughter both parents that you can't see the situation like other people can. I hope one day you find the strength to see things as they are and to walk away from his controlling behaviours for good. I think her only having your name will be the best thing possible in the future xxx sending you hugs, I hope you get the help you need.

 

[siouxie]

It wasn't really me considering being with him but seeing how he is with her. I suppose ur right tho as if he did do all the stuff he said he was going to do I probberly would of got back with him. It is best in the long run were not together. It's just hard and upsetting. I'm sure things will get easier eventually.

 

[CARNAT22]

I am so glad you do not live with this man, then it would be even harder to get rid.

The baby must have your surname and from now on you must make sure when he visits there is someone else supervising!

Does your Mum know how he is treating you?

Is there anyone on his side you can talk to and explain how things have deteriorated in your relationship.

Words are abuse too hun!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[meggymum]

have to say i am with everyone on this matter. you must give the baby your surname, and make sure you do not let him back into your life as he is so abusive. It will only get worse if you do. i know its not easy thinking about raising a baby on your own but it sounds like you have a good family to support you. keep strong and level headed with him and dont let him push you around. xxxxx

 

[siouxie]

She has been registered in my name now. I think the reason to me it doesn't seam as bad as it is is that ky previous relationship was a lot lot worse. I think I must attract the wrong type. I've never really been in a normal relationship and tens to put up with a lot in stead of saying something. As I have another person to protect and look after I feel a lot stronger as a person and don't want that around her. I was speaking to his mum a lot as she wasn't happy with the way he was treating us. But now she's seen him upset for a change I think she feels sorry for him and maybe thinks it my doing and I'm being in fair as she hasn't said a lot to mee at all the last few days. My mum n dad both now what's gone on the last few days but usually I don't like to tell them a lot as if I do they don't atop asking questions and bring it up all the time when I just want to bot think about it ans get on not keep gettin upset everytime its brought up. Today I've just tried to get on with the day, but they keep asking of I've heard from him what's he said. N brining him up all the time. I know its cos they care but I want to keep it together n get on with ky life.

 

[siouxie]

Sorry about all the typos I'm on my phone :-/

 

[LYLLJellyTots]

How would you feel if someone treated your daughter the way he has treated you? That's why they keep asking questions x

 

[Daisy2011]

Hi ya
It sound like the big drama has passed and its given you a chance to think aboutwhat you need to do. Good luck in finding a safe life for you and your little one. You have to be strong for her. And belive that its better to be by yourslef for a while than with someone who makes life so shit.
Good luck happy new year
x Daisy

 

[siouxie]

Thank you. Things have calmed down a lot. I've had a few silly messages but just getting on with things. It's a shame things are the way they are, but I suppose everything happens for a reason. Hope everyone had a great new years and a great 2013