Jax's TTC Diary

[glitzyglamgirl]

You keep that chin up my girl...it will happen!

I will definately be treating you to that little gift I mentioned beginning of next month, you never know!

Big huge (((HUGS))) mate xxxxx

Love ya sis, oh and fraggle rocks back on TV lol

Thanks everyone

 

[Happybunny]

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Big hugs GGG, i was so sure she wasnt going to get you this month.But its a bit full this month to move into thord tri, and will be rooting for you next month.Il even naked forest dance- even if i have a huge risk of knocking myself out!

 

[Snuggle]

Sorry AF got you

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Had my first consultation with the gyno on monday. There was 3 people in the room which was a surprise! She done an internal and said everything seems fine, (although I think she was a bit rough as it hurt for ages afterwards) and took some more blood, apparantly my doc didnt do the proper ovulation hormone thingy test so ive got to have that again - so this was the first one and got to do another one next month, then I will have a laparoscapy (instead of the HSG my doc said I would have)

So its all go, and my doc is a moron

 

[Gem & Leland]

ggg , hsg is done via laproscopy hun ! thats when they did mine and took dermoid same time , all via one op !

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

ah ok, i thought they were 2 different things

I'll be under general aneasthetic anyway so they can do what they want

 

[muppetmummy]

I wondered where you'd got to GGG. Glad to hear that the ball is now rolling. I hope you don't have to wait too much longer for your BFP

 

[Donna79x]

Hello GGG,

I had my pre admin last week... going in for a laparoscopy and dye. Hopefully get a date soon.... said I am looking a max 3 month wait.

Not looking forward to 3 lots of stitches though :-[

With any luck I will be pregnant before then.....

Take Care hun x

 

[trigger]

Good luck!
xxx

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

thanks guys, AF came yesterday so it was a 29 day cycle, now im confused as the last 5/6 months have been 32 days so thought my cycles had finally settled down and had a 21 day progesterone test on day 25 to adjust for longer cycles, and was asked to make an appointment for another one when this AF started - but do I go with day 25 again or day 21?

I'll phone to make an appointment in a bit and maybe they will know what to do!

Really suffering this month, was in agony all day yesterday and lastnight, its not so bad today but im so worn out ive taken the day off work today. It hasnt been this bad for a long time, I couldnt speak lastnight and everytime I tried to take painkillers I just threw them back up again. Poor OH, he almost called an ambulance at one point as I was so bad and couldnt communicate that it was ok, its pretty normal (well used to be) for me lol.

Ive mentioned a few times at the clinic how bad they can be but they dont seem concerned. Maybe I should re-iterate it again next time and let them know how bad it really is.

 

[muppetmummy]

That does sound bad! Definately make sure they know how much you suffer

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Thought id move this over here and update it, but as I cant remember how to merge threads (or even if you can ) heres a link to the latest on the laparoscopy I had on the 17th nov

http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=54205

I have my follow up appointment on monday so should have a MUCH clearer picture of whats going on

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Just got back from my appointment at the clinic, and its what I feared.

My tubes are completely blocked, but they wont operate to unblock them as the "little fingers at the end of the tubes" as she called them, are also damaged so there wouldnt be any point.

She said I have 0 chance of conceiving naturally, so I have now been referred for IVF. She said they will probably want to remove my tubes before IVF which is fine with me....and its a 2 year wait for one nhs shot.

She did say we can have 2 private treatments before the nhs one, but theres no way we can afford that atm, in the near future who knows.

I'll be honest.....im not as upset as I thought I would be. Im sooooo glad I opened that letter because I was prepared for this and done my crying already, and ofcourse OH is being amazingly supportive as usual. God I love him soooo much and im determined not to let this put a strain on our relationship. We're just going to concentrate on the house and getting married, and put the wait for IVF to the back of our minds for now.

I know one thing.....the sooner they get these rotten tubes out of my body the better.....I asked if it could be why my periods are so agonising and she said yes, it probably is. Wish I knew all this before

 

[tots hope]

 

[Jilly]

Hi glitzy

I am new to this site and have just read your diary, I don't know what to say but just wanted you to know my heart goes out to you and your OH

Miracles happen and you have had a positive HPT so maybe here's hoping and praying for you and a fantastic 2008

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Hi glitzy

I am new to this site and have just read your diary, I don't know what to say but just wanted you to know my heart goes out to you and your OH

Miracles happen and you have had a positive HPT so maybe here's hoping and praying for you and a fantastic 2008

thanks hun

that bfp I had has been playing on my mind, I know you cant get a false positive, im wondering if it was eptopic hence why it didnt take....but not knowing enough about eptopics to know if thats possible or not im not sure....but even then that would suggest something got through somewhere??

*sigh* I guess all I can do is assume its not going to happen naturally, if it does then it will be a wonderful surpirse but I cant afford to count on it

 

[Jule]

GGG - I am so so sorry to hear this, although, I have to say it is inspirational how upbeat and optimistic you are being!

Just you and your OH concentrate on your house and arranging your wedding - this will take up lots of your time and energy, and before you know it, you will be at the top of the IVF list and ready for action!!

Take care, and please please keep up the positive attitude!

Much love

Jule xx

 

[Squiglet]

Just

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Thanks everyone

I woke up this morning with an intense hatred for my body. Not how it looks, but having these 2 rotten, useless things inside me. The other day I knew I had ovulated because of the usual sharp pains for 10 mins or so and then a massive amount of eggwhite, and I sat on the loo and cried because it seems like such a waste. I produce healthy eggs, lots of the right mucus, my womb is healthy and the heart of me.....yet its all a waste. I know that when IVF comes around it all means it has a good chance of working, but in the meantime.....I cant explain it.

My PMT also started today, always a day or 2 after ovulation, and I know that is probably why im feeling so much hatred for my body today, but when those next bout of period pains kick in im not sure I can cope....knowing that its pointless. Ive always been able to cope with them emotionally by telling myself its all part of a system, part of what makes me a fertile woman. But thats wrong isnt it. Its all part of a broken system that makes me an infertile half-woman. The pain is caused by my infertility.

Im trying so hard to be strong and stay positive, but when my menstrual cycle dominates me life for 3 weeks out of every 4, its going to be tough.

So im not looking for sympathy, I just needed to get these feelings out and expel them, just reading back what ive written makes me see how wrong it is to feel this way. I dunno.....just need to get my head around things.