Its all over

[Melanie1982]

Hey Ladies

Sorry I haven't updated for a while my iphone gave up and I can not upgrade until tuesday!!

So today I think I am about to come on, I have got the feeling I will and there is some blood although currently only on TP. I know she will show full flow soon!!

I rang DH as he is at work today and I completely broke down!! I knew that this cycle hadn't worked, I just had a feeling but yet somehow I still held a tiny bit of hope until today.

I know I will make out to my friends that I am ok and it wasn't meant to be yet inside I am devastated!! What have I done so wrong that I am unable to get pregnant. My anger fuels towards my SIL she is 24 and has 4 children by 3 differant fathers her youngest 2 are 10 months and 3 weeks old!! Yet when we visit I have to pretend that it doesn't bother me but it does alot. Don't get me wrong I love the children t bits but yet I still feel like shouting don't you think you have had enough and done enough for the population!!!

I am sorry for ranting I am just gutted, I try and rationalise myself and I know that I am lucky especially to have my DS who has also been through so much but yet at this time I feel really selfish and just wish this time it may have been my turn.

Mel
xxx

 

[itisbabytime]

oh hun, sorry to read this. the old cliche stands "not out till the witch shows" but i know the feeling of just knowing it hasnt happened. regarding your sil i think your well entitled to rant so go ahead!! for women who are ltttc or have fertility issues, the world can seem incredibly cruel at times

 

[Kay Kay]

Sorry Mel rant away that's what were here for. Hope she doesn't show up but if so have a hug

 

[blondy13]

Hi Mel. Don't worry about ranting- here is most definitely the place to do it! I'm sorry she's pretty much got you. Massive hugs. Make sure you have a big chocolate bar and some wine tonight. How many more injection cycles do you get? You will get there.

Your sil sounds interesting... And it really isn't fair is it? That's what I struggle to deal with sometimes. Xxx

 

[laurat]

Oh Mel! Im sorry! Xxxxx

 

[Chazabell]

Hi Mel

I understand how your feeling with regards to SIL mine has 4 children to 3 different fathers and is same age as me and is booked in to have a termination next week as she simply couldnt be bothered with contraception inbetween the rod's. Im so hurt by it and angry, as she knows the trouble we are having and she's just acting like its an every day occurance.

Don't let it bugg you too long, FX for you xxxxx

 

[laurat]

Oh girls Im reading this on the train back from the footie and its just making me want to shout! Why cant we, the ones who really want children have them! Ive had a drink today and twice been told oh thought you would have kids. To which I then put their gas at a peep by saying yes me too unfortunately Ive had a mc last year and now need fertility treatment. Havent done it before but you know its kind of refreshing because its a show stopper!

 

[Melanie1982]

Thanks ladies I am feeling much better now me and ds had a DVD and junk food day. Made me realise what I have got! Witch is here full flow now! Hasn't been this painful in a long while! I still get another shot on NHS but am going to give April a rest..

My SIL is a right treat sounds like she will fit right in with your SIL Chazzabell. My SIL decided to tell me that she was pregnant again on my wedding day last August!! Luckily I was so drunk I didn't care!!

Xx

 

[Kay Kay]

Really glad you're feeling better Mel. Your sil sounds like a right piece of work

 

[LouiseB]

Aw, really sorry Mel

I was really hoping that this cycle would work out for you

 

[Chazabell]

Having a break in April sounds like a plan hun, chill out and focus on you xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Sending you a hug , have some you time before you go again X