It Has All Got Too Much For Me.. *UPDATED PG 2*

[Sandie]

I think i can safely say i have cracked up this morning. I am sat here in floods of tears feeling very sorry for myself.

I am 28+6 weeks pregnant. Although my early pregnancy has been a breeze (no morning sickness what so ever) the later months have been torture. I have had awful back pains (receive weekly physio appointments) and bad headaches. The back pains keep me up most of the night and i am lucky if i get 3-4 hours decent sleep a night.
I start work at 7.45am and don't finish till 5.30pm - i am on my feet all day - the chance i do get to sit down and do work at the computer i get sarky comments made to me and told to shift !
My work have never given me a risk assessment, i pretty much do everything i did before (apart from lift 20kg bags).
I am physically and mentally drained - i am so exhausted. I don't like phoning in sick (i have had to a few times over the past few weeks due to being physically unable to get myself motovated) when i go back the following day i get sarky comments made... I try my hardest at my job but they're not making it easy for me They havn't offered me any suitable alternitive. I really don't know what to do. I only have 3 weeks left till i come off on Maternity Leave (taking early leave due to risk of Toxoplasmosis) but i think i'll end up in a mental hospital before long..
Just phoned work and left a message on the answering maching saying i won't be in today....

sorry for the rabble.

I'm in bits today.

 

[jools221181]

Oh sweetie
Your workplace doesn't sound very supportive at all In fact it sounds just like mine before I left to have Brody. I left at 30 weeks as I kept bleeding.
What they are doing is wrong. Have you made a complaint about the negative comments made to you?
Do you get sick pay? How long before you need a doctors note?If I were you I would take as long off now until you need a sick note, go back and if they give you grief again, go off sick again until the start of your maternity leave. But then I'm going on how it worked at our place (could have a week before needing a sick note)
Or is it possible to bring your leave forward?
It sounds like work is doing you no favours at all If you do really have to go back, make the most of today and however long you have off and get some well deserved rest

 

[Sandie]

I also have a broken wrist so my arms in plaster !

I just get SSP

I'm half expecting a phone call from work today..

I just don't know who to turn to. My DH is worried about me but doesn't know what to do.

I have told my work that i am unhappy but it appears to fall on deaf ears...

Do i go to the doctors today??

 

[Melly+2]

Is there no one you can confide in at work?? like a friend because how they are treating you is totally unfair

 

[reallyoldmum]

First

Right your employer has legal obligations to you and they are not fulfilling them. If I were you I would make an emergency appointment with your GP this morning and get them to sign you off work for a week; then I would telephone your HR department or your manager and explain that you are suffering work related stress - now these two issues are taken very seriously by tribunals - by being off for a week you are going to give them time to sort out their act, explain that they can get free advice from ACAS on working with pregnant employees and leave them to it.

If the worst comes to the worst I would talk to a solicitor about a claim against them!!

The most important thing is that you and baby stay well

Jane x

 

[Sandie]

There is no one at work i can really talk too..

Work are making me feel so guilty about being preggers.. I am incharge of the equine section of my work - no one else in the place knows/understands it.
I informed my boss in October that i was pregnant so he knew then he'd have to get cover. He left it until 2 weeks ago to advertise for maternity cover. He's got interviews on Friday for the job - not really leaving me much time to train up a new person (which to be honest is the bloody last thing i need right now) - it's not my problem they've left it so last minute.

My Manager is due to retire in September, although he keeps saying he's going to retire sooner. Not my problem whether he does or not - but they keep reminding me he's going then (or sooner) and that they'd like me back asap.

I know for a fact they'll be talking about me being off again today - but they're not helping me in anyway I'm too scared/embarrassed to go to the doctors.. What do i say to him?!

I sound like such a moan. Sorry guys...

 

[Melly+2]

Its your managers job to get all thie cover and training sorted not you hun, they sound like a bunch of wankers if you ask me. Just go to your docs and tellthem exactly how you feel, theres no neeed to feel silly about it, they will know you need all the rest you can get and are usually very supportive of pregnant ladies, i know mine are. Im sorry i cant give you more adovise hun i really am, i do feel for you though

 

[lillyblue]

Awh darling get yourself off to the docs like everyone has said and explain work is making you feel sick and that you dont want to be stressed whilst pregnant!!

When I read this I really knew what you are going through because like you I am off work today keep having dizzy spells... think I have had 10 days in the 29 weeks I have been pregnant so I know the office will be talking about me but what can we do if we dont feel up to it!

Dont be worrying about what they think you dont need it!!! Just go to the docs and then put your feet up

xxx

 

[lisa-marie]

I just wanted to give you a huge and say i agree with the comments.

Your employers dont sound like they have much experience of dealing with pregnant employees. They should be making sure you are not under any stress & it is their responsibility to cover your role whilst you are on maternity leave and do a risk assesment but these are also ongoing as you go through your pregnancy.

Sounds like they have left it too late to cover your role but its not your problem and they shoudnt pressure you into coming back too soon you can legally take 9 months so sounds like your manager would finish before then but that is their problem!

I would go to the doctors as it is important to have it recorded in your notes. I had stress early on as my role is being made redundant & also i had a new manager that i didnt get on with & also had to train people to take on our jobs! So when my manager was making me stressed it was recorded on any appointments with the midwife/docs.

Put your feet up today put on a film, have a bath, eat chocolate just do something for you!

 

[Fluffy Bunny]

First of all have some

at your work. Don't feel bad about phoning in sick, you and the babba come first and your doctor would completely understand if you explain to them as you have in your first post about how you are being treated.

Also just ignore the sarky comments, everyone gets them - one of my managers said to me yesterday "I don't understand these women who take a year off, I was back at work after 6 weeks" I just tend to go 'oh really' and walk off. I can't be bothered with attitudes like that

 

[lauramumof2]

Do i go to the doctors today??

Hell yes!!!!!!! Please go to the docs. This is awful and awful that your work is treating you like this. They seem to be going out of their way to cause you problems.

As for all the the things you listed about work and them not getting cover - thats their problem, thats why they get paid the big bucks.


What to say to the docs- Tell him what you have told us. You cant cope with the pain and you are sleeping which is making you stressed and depressed.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

If I were you I would contact my CAB for some help. You have legal rights as an employee. How long have you worked there for??

They sound like a dreadful firm to work for hun. I really feel for you

What sort of industry are you in?

 

[Annabanna33]

Big hugs first of all.

I know exactly how u feel. I ended up having to leave my place of work as ever since i announced i was pregnant they made my life hell. Ended up with ambulance being called, me suffering panic attacks, then being signed off. back one day, me in floods of tears. Just couldnt face the upset it was causing me and my little man, so handed in my notice. Best thing i have ever done. U just have to work out what is best for you and your little one, i know everyone was telling me i had a case to fight back against them, but i felt so weak that i just didnt have the strength to go through the ind tribunal route.

Hope u feel better soon

A
xxxx

 

[Sandie]

Thanks guys

I have been there for 3 years now I work for a Veterinary Supplies/Animal Feed Merchant

 

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

Hi Sandie

I totally sympathise, I don't work now but when I was pregnant with my second son I worked in kennels/cattery and my boss was not in the slightest bit interested that I was pregnant and I still had to do everything I did before I was pregnant. I was lucky though and had great friends there who lifted the heavy sacks of food and handled the larger dogs. I suspected my boss was a little jealous to be honest which made me feel a bit sorry for her. I also left at 29 weeks pregnant because my job was so physically demanding and I'd had enough of my boss's attitude towards me.

Definitely see your doctor, dont feel bad about it, look after number one and your LO

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

Thanks guys

I have been there for 3 years now I work for a Veterinary Supplies/Animal Feed Merchant

I am sneaking into third trimester but...please seek advice here. The company sounds big enough to have an HR and they have a legal opportunity to have done a risk assessment and to have made adjustments. This is awful and no wonder you are stressed. I echo the ACAS telephone call. Perhaps you should check out www.direct.gov.uk and read the maternity page.

Hun... I hope you are okay

 

[MrsBrightside]

there is no advice I can offer that hasnt already been said but just wanted to offer you some support and hugs!!!

forget about work. Get on the sick and start to relax. This isnt doing you or bubs any good darling.

 

[HollyHobby]

i would deffo go to your docs and just spill your guts out to him/her cos it sounds like youve got a mild dose of depression and i wouldnt be surprised if your doc signed you off till you have had the baby.

 

[Mik]

I agree with everyone else hun they are legally obliged to make sure you have plenty of rest and periods of sitting down they are not treating you fairly and you are entitled to a years mat leave if you want to take it although only 9 months are paid. I hope you have been to the docs and they helped

 

[Sandie]

Never made it to the docs today, went & hid under my duvet till DH came home... He's not mentioned me being off today, keeps saying things like "can you get ...... when you're back tomorrow" etc. etc. I know if i turn round and say i can't face it we'll probably argue.

I suffered from depression & self harm years ago.. i hope i don't end up down the same road.

I know my work can't do anything if i go on the sick but I KNOW how bad i'll feel about it...