Is it right for different surnames?

[Jayceesmumma]

Im getting Elyssa registered today and i want her with my surname.
But, Jaycee has C's surname. I thought we were gonna marry etc (thats what he told me ) so i agreed to having her as his surname. I HATE having a different surname to her and he wont let me change it by deed poll. Is it right to have them with different surnames even tho its the same dad? A big part of me thinks its wrong but i really dont want another daughter with a different name to mine. It hurts Any ideas or thoughts? Thanks

 

[Baileysmummy]

I would say go with your surname hun... your not married so legally you can do it..

if you ever did get married then he can always change it later on..

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

could u double barrell it ??
if not id give her urs hun

 

[jenna]

id use yours

 

[Jayceesmumma]

but if i do that, theyll have diff surnames giving the impression they have diff dads
no double barrel, he dont want that

 

[Melanie]

Im not sure what to advise to be honest hun. Thea has Richard's surname and i thought i would be ok with that but to be honest it does hurt that i have a different name from hers
One option could be to give the dads name and then change your name by deed poll so you are all the same. Its something im thinking of doing (im weird im scared to get married).

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Im not sure what to advise to be honest hun. Thea has Richard's surname and i thought i would be ok with that but to be honest it does hurt that i have a different name from hers
One option could be to give the dads name and then change your name by deed poll so you are all the same. Its something im thinking of doing (im weird im scared to get married).

exactly why i dont want Ellie to be his name, coz it hurt so much with Jaycee. but then i think, is it fair for them if they have different surnames?
ive considered changing my name to theirs.. C is saying now we'll get married but he's gone back to the asshole he was b4 so i dont want him. he wants parental rights too.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I might leave it til next week, i cant decide and C is arguing about it

 

[lozzi]

i wud give her u surname. if u wer to get married then elyssa's surname caan change to his.

he automatically gets parental responsibility in signing the birth certificate

 

[Flossy82]

Hey there i was having this dilema with both my lo's too but in the end decided to go with my o/hs surname for them as tbh i didnt really like them to have mine much which is minstrell and i think that smith (o/hs) sounded much better. All i can say though is go with what you thinks right at the end of the day and im sure youl ake the right choice

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Im not sure I'd be comfortable with OH dictating the surnames like that let alone them having different names to be honest, I mean it might not make much difference when they're little but when they are at school it could cause problems with questions from other kids etc, and if you give in on this now it might never change. Id give the baby your name and change the others ones name to yours too, and tell OH that if/when he changes his ways and if/when YOU DECIDE you want to get married, then you will change all of your names to his.

 

[nathanmum]

am i being simple? my mum changed my surname from my dads to get away/disappear they were married. so he never agreed to it. how does that work? i thought you could just change them??
i would go with my surname but i know what you mean about having them both the same its a toughie

 

[mummykay]

Jam has my surname and until I have dragged Mike down the altar kicking and screaming he will continue to do so!!!

 

[Minime]

Even if they dont have parental responsibility if you later want to change your kids names then the lawyers advise you get permission off tha father anyway UNLESS like DD's father he hasnt seen her in years so it wasnt relevant.


Eefie has his dad's name and Ive changed mine to my OH's name as I didnt want my ex husbands name anywhere on my sons birth cert and I'm not ready for wedding bells just yet.

 

[twitch]

If he's being an asshole, and IF it looks like you will split up, have both children in your surname, he has no legal right to stop you changing the name by deed poll cos he's not married to you. Have your new child in your surname, change the other childs surname by deedpoll.

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Ok probably going to look unpopular here BUT i voted to use your OH's surname.

One day you may get married but untill then you could change your name by deed polland have the same name as BOTH girls.

Alfie has Ians surname, and i do think that by the time he starts nursery or school i want his surname, whether we find the time to get married or i change by deed poll i will do it.

my reasoning behind alfie having his dads surname was that i have faith we will get married and then i would of had to change alfies surname too. OR say we didnt work out, alfie had my surname and i married someone else, then he wouldnt have my surname or his dads surname and i wouldnt change it to new hubbys surname, its not fair.

BUT if you feel so strongly about it perhaps you should use your own surname. I dont think either way is wrong, my opinion is mainly based on my situation,

 

[trixipaws]

can u not change jaycee's name to yours without his permission?

 

[kimmumof2]

my friend was told by laywers you need fathers permissio unless you could prove that he wouldnt care such as he isnt in contact for soo many years or has denied he is afther etc. my mates husband is turkish and left her to move up to newcastle (even tho he is in the country illegally!!!) and aint interested in his daught and hasnt been for past year but they still wont let her change her daughters surname even tho her daughter is askin for it to be changed. its something to do with denying the child its identity etc. i did do a lesson on it but cant remember exactly. i would speak to a lawyer and if they say you aint got a leg stand on with changin your little girls name then i wud giv em both same surname and change mine to the same so we were the family. hope you get it sorted hun.

xxxxxxx

 

[Adele]

Me and OH couldn't decide either so Chloe has both of ours, mine first and his last, and this one will also have the same.

 

[twitch]

You can change it online without needing a lawyer it cost £30 when I changed mine, and it's fully legal.