Is having baby no.2 easier or harder?

[Colleen1988]

Hi, I haven’t posted in here for a very long time. I finally feel ready (I think) to have baby no.2.

I want your honest experience of baby number 2 please??

I had a horrendous birth where I got sepsis and nearly died, I was put to sleep to deliver DS1 and so for a very long time I was adamant I wasn’t having anymore. But now I’m getting broody and also feeling guilty about DS1 being an only child (probably more because of other people’s comments about only children).

I feel ready for no.2 but I don’t at the same time!!!

 

[WinterWolf]

Do you mean the pregnancy/birth or the actual raising of baby? Pregnancy is definitely harder even without complications as you have your first child to look after and can't nap whenever you want etc. The birth can go either way, there's no way to know what your body will do. You can have a horrendous first birth and an easy second birth.. But can also go the opposite! With the baby part I think it totally depends on the child's personality how easy/hard it will be. I know people who say the first was a breeze and second was a total shock, and vice versa. I'm pregnant with number 2 and I feel like knowing what I'm doing this time will make a big difference when this one is little.. I'm hoping the early days won't be so stressful!
Good luck xxx

 

[Colleen1988]

Other than the birth my first has been absolute dream, he’s been such an easy child, good sleeper, hit all his milestones with ease. I think the thought of having another baby and turning our content little life upside down is just so scary! When I think about it all too much I put myself off the idea of having another, I’m just looking for reassurance I think, that everything will
be ok haha!! congrats on your pregnancy... what will the age gap be? my son is 4 xx

 

[WinterWolf]

Well they say if you're first child is easy the second will be difficult! My first one was (is) a bit of a nightmare with food and sleep so hoping the second one is more calm. We shall see. My daughter is only 14.5mo old and I'm 13wks pregnant lol. It will be easier with a 4yr old as he will be at school when you have a newborn!

 

[Kitana]

I had an easier first pregnancy, stress free but gave birth 4 weeks early because my water broke, then the second pregnancy was harder on my body. I had mild GD, a lot of pain like an appendicitis from a blocked nerve in my back, which could come and go randomly, I had a horrible nagging pain in my feet. I had a feeling my body was protesting more. But the birth was crazy fast, my waters broke and had the baby 1 hour and 17 minutes later!
Like @WinterWolf said, running after a tiny terror makes it a bit more challenging! I must say I timed my naps with my DD1 so I did get enough rest during the day. She would still go to the childminder so I had a few days a week to breathe.
I think a 4 or 5 year old will be easier than a toddler as they are a bit more independent.

Don't feel pressured by other people into getting a second one! You will regret it!
I had my doubts too about a second baby but now that she is here, I'm happy we did have her. My DD1 is crazy about her and to see the love she has for her sister makes me think we did the right thing. Have a good chat with the oh and see what he thinks! Good luck!x

 

[Anxiouskerry]

I'm 25 weeks pregnant with my second and I'm finding this pregnancy harder. All the aches and pains are worse. Looking after a 3 year old and plodding about. I'm so tired all the time. Lol

I thought I knew all the aches and things. But I'm now learning every pregnancy is allot different. The birth of my son was quite difficult. I lost allot of blood and needed transfusions and was in hospital for a little while. But it hasnt put me off number 2. Im an only child and it was quite a lonely time tbh. Lol so I've always wanted my son to have a sibling and always wanted a bigger family.

It's worth it I'm sure just want these weeks to hurry up

 

[PeanutButter]

I had a traumatic birth with number 1 aswell. I lost so much blood i passed out seconds after being passed my baby girl.
I was told by my mum that my BP just plummeted and around 8 drs came barging into the room. When i woke up there waa blood literally everywhere bloody footprints etc. I needed blood transfusions as even rolling over caused me to nearly pass out again due to no iron in me lol. But baby number 2 gosh so bloody easy!! I went into labour at 35 weeks but the midwife said it wasnt labour next day.. Rushed to hospital barely even made it he popped right out not even a tear lol

 

[LuckyLaura]

In terms of pregnancy being pregnant with a toddler is hard, it's exhausting but with support it's doable and so worth it and of course only temporary in the grand scheme of life. As others have mentioned the birth can go any way - they're all different. I had a very traumatic first birth but the second one my midwives were amazing and actually said to me at the start what did I need to be different etc and it was such a better birth!!!

The thing is at the end of the day every baby is different. We have raised our girls the exact same way, and they are complete opposites. My first was an easy baby, fed every 4 hours like clockwork - you could have set your watch by her haha she slept through the night from 10 weeks and she weaned onto food at 6 months amazingly. She was all in all a very very easy child. Now shes 2.5 she doesn't eat for me but the rest all stands. You could have set her down anywhere, in anything, with anyone and shed have slept through a bomb.

My second is the total opposite. She woke like a newborn every 2 hours all night every night and wanted feeding every 3 mins up until a few weeks ago and shes 8.5 months old. Shes clingy, won't be set down, won't sit in a chair, won't go in the pram, won't be worn in a sling haha generally just a total velcro high needs baby. She also wakes if you breathe too loudly so it's a total treat since my toddler is loud and energetic haha

This sounds negative I realise but its reality and honestly although it has been hard I wouldn't have changed any of it!!!!! do it!!! xx

 

[WinterWolf]

This popped up in my notifications so thought I’d update My baby 2 is now 4mo old. She’s a total dream baby. Sleeps through, no issues breastfeeding, self settles for naps, barely ever cries, will happily play on her own... Her birth was pretty quick/easy (was 100% natural and unmediated - wasn’t my first choice lol but I’m glad it played out the way it did) and recovery was also super easy!

Baby 1 was a traumatic birth followed by a lot of feeding and sleep issues that stuck around for a long time (she is a good eater and sleeps through now though!). So for us, baby 2 was a lot easier! But it is definitely more exhausting, I can’t sleep when the baby sleeps this time around because the toddler doesn’t nap lol.