Is assisted conception your dirty little secret?

[LouiseB]

I have only told my mum about us needing IVF and hubby's told his dad (who then told his mum). So three people know. I think i will tell my dad too if he asks about ttc because that seems only fair, but if he never asks i don't think i'll mention it.

Oh, my closest friend knows too but i know she's good at keeping secrets.

The thought of anyone else knowing causes me to feel quite panicked mainly because i don't like being the topic of other peoples discussion, nevermind having my children the topic for discussion. I feel very protective towards my children even though they haven't even been born.

I know IVF is "everywhere" but if it is then i'm not aware of it - maybe it is other peoples dirty little secret too.

I don't even know if i'll tell my children. I mean, they'll never ask if they are IVF babies. Some people seem to be quite proud - you can even get T-Shirts, but i find it quite shaming that as a couple we cannot conceive.

I was just wondering how open you are about discussing the need for assisted conception and how comfortable you feel with it?

Do you intend on making it a point to tell your children, in the same way you might tell them that they are adopted?

 

[Bead]

Hi Louise
I feel pretty comfortable talking about it. A few family members and friends know, and I'll definitely tell our kids (when (not if) they arrive ) how they were conceived. We figure it will show them how much they were desperately wanted.

I feel that it is generally a bit of a taboo topic. Noone talks about it, which can make you feel a bit alone out there! Then when I did mention it to friends and family, they then open up about other people that they know who have gone through it too.

The only reason why I'm not telling the whole world right now is that if it doesn't work, it will be hard if lots of people start asking how it went. But when we get a BFP, we're going to tell the whole world that is was due to IVF, to try and break the taboo.

Xx

 

[BabyLover]

I feel ok toalking about it too. It's not something I want to SCREAM over Facebook, but our set of parents know, my brother and sisters and his sisters know as well. I suppose most of our families know because we are all close and news get's around fast, especially in his family.

We are proud that we are having to have help, because without medical/science now we wouldn't be able to have kids....I suppose it's not a thing you shout about is it lol

Donna x

 

[kizzibea]

So far none of our family even know that we're trying. I think there might be suspicions but we've not actually said anything.

If it turns out that there's something wrong and we need to go down that route I think we would probably open up about it because we'd want the emotional support as much as anything.

If we had to have IVF we would probably tell the child how they were conceived. I think it makes them extra special that you had to go to so much work to have them.

 

[midnight]

hi ladies thought id come in and just say there is nothing to be ashamed of at all about ivf no ive never been through this but the way i see it if a couple that have trouble concieving the natural way and their only option is ivf then go for it and be proud its not like you have jumped in bed with 5 different blokes and got pregnant and then didnt even want the baby to me its like having say a kidney fail and needing a transplant to be happy and healthy ivf takes alot of consideration and if you have been through ivf everyone knows your babies are very much wanted and loved so you have nothing to be ashamed of be proud you will all make super parents xxx at the end of the day the rest of it you will have to do just like someone who didnt go the ivf route xx

 

[BabyLover]

awwww thanks hunni

I am not ashamed, nice words

Donna x