I'm soo p*ssed Off!!

[K X]

HV phoned today after I had Rebecca at the weigh in clinic (she screamed the place down and other HV had to take her away) to tell me that they have no trace of the referral to the paediatrician that was supposed to of been made on 7th March by Dr at out of hours regarding her reflux.

I feel like I can't cope anymore- this is no exaggeration but she screams all day every day, and goes into screaming fits, holds her breath, throws herself back in the bumbo and topples out in temper. I feel like I am cracking up. She has all the toys in the world, I am constantly trying to play with her, and it upsets me reading about your Lo's and playing with their toys when Rebecca screams after 2 mins of me playing with her. I pace up and down to calm her, works then when I put her down she screams again.

She had her induction last week at nursery, when I picked her up they said they haven't met a girl like her, always wants to be picked up and does not sleep. I feel bad, I don't want them to dislike her.

Rebecca has had a lot to deal with so far, this terrible reflux, that nothing is working, severe constipation to which she is on suppositries for, they work but give here severe stomache cramps. She can't poo on her own accord. And her back passage has tore too. But i feel like I am getting annoyed with her now, I wouldn't harm her, but I do get ratty and say what the hell is it now. I cry all the time in front of her, or when I am holding her, it is a right picture, me and her both whaling together.

I don't want to go to the dr's as they will put me on tablets, and I am returning to work soon, I really do feel like I am cracking up. OH told me he dreads coming home to Rebecca. That made me feel so sorry for her, I got defensive.

Now they have lost the referral for the Paediatrician, I am so annoyed, as i have to wait a long time again and more suffering for Rebecca..and me!

 

[LouisecH]

Oh god you poor thing and poor Rebecca (((Hug)))

I went through the same thing with Zara with reflux - it's awful - and she seemed to grow out of it before I got any real help (although she was put on gaviscon).

Please go and talk to your doctor about how desperate you are feeling. No one can force you to go on tablets and it sounds as though you don't need tablets you need some help sorting out Rebecca. Maybe if you tell your doctor how bad the situation is s/he can speed up your referral??

You are not alone. I used to pace up and down with Zara all day and night. I ended up in A & E with her one night after she'd screamed for 3 days with only 1 hours sleep (seems impossible to believe now). She suddenly grew out of it and is a lovely happy baby now.

**edited but info pmed to KX**

Hope things pick up for you.

Louise x

 

[amy]

i feel for you honey, its so bloody hard my daughter, 8 months is tottally the same, whatever i do its not enough,i bumped into my hv the other day and i said there is something wrong with my daughter, i was nearly in tears, just kept saying shes not right. i cant turn around without libby throwing a massive tantrum, i just feel so closed in, and no one can help me. libby wont settle with anyone, sometimes my oh cant calm her, i feel i have to do everything i love libby to bits and im at the end of my tether, everytime i go to docs and tell them about her ways, they get the depression questionnaire out like its all in my head!!!!!! every week something hapens to libby, constipation, ear infection, cold...... etc... i know its not her fault for all this, but it just seems there is not one day when she is calm, and wants to just play. i have done everything i can massaged her ( to calm) played calming music. looked through all the ingrediants im giving her just incase something isn't right, maybe its just her age, shes going through the terrible 2's early, hope your ok K X. Im here if you need to get it off your chest, just like i have. sorry for the moan, but somtimes you just need to do it.

 

[weestar21]

awwww hunny wish i could give u a huge hug (((((((((( hugs )))))))))

How old is rebecca? If you havent already tried this calfig im sure its called im sure its for 3 months plus but may be wrong it may be for older We had to use it for Adele a while back as she was constipated for more than ten days and it was getting to the point she was being sick and it smelled and looked like poo, we took her to the childrens ward at the hospital and they gave her sappositrys and told us to use calfig its just pure fig juice tasted horrible but after using it once she was shitting rings round herself the docs said she had a blockage in her bowel and thast what was causing the sever cramps and she also had a tare at her back passage and obviously when she tried to poo it would hurt so she was also scared to poo aswell.

I dont blame you for not wanting to go to the docs to be put on tablets as from my past experience with anti depressent tabs they honstly made me feel a million times worse it took me over 2 years to get over PND after having Adele. I think i gave the tabs 1 year and just had enough of it all and just kept telling myself things will get easier, i know its easy for me to say that as im not in your situation and there is nothing worse when a baby cries and doesnt stop.

Dont beat yourself up about it hun im sure most of us on this forum have been feeling like cracking up and losing the plot at some stage in our life but it doesnt last forever.

I really wish you all the best hun and if you ever need to talk pm me and i hope that you get something that works for her constipation soon andyou get your refferal sorted pretty fast too.

Take care

Jean xxx

 

[Urchin]

(((HUG)))

You did great by coming here and opening up to us, it's a real big step and it shows you are a great mom.

Please talk to your GP about the issues you have got with the referral and also your feelings. You don't HAVE to do anything you don't want, but by talking to someone maybe you will feel better.

It must be so hard, it WILL get better, maybe sooner rather than later if you talk to your GP or HV.

Have you got anyone who can babysit for a few hours so you can get out with your OH and relax for a bit? It can make the world of difference.

 

[petchy]

((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))

i know what youre going through hun after being there myself. it's awful, and i hate it when the doctors don't take us parents seriously.

I don't want to go to the dr's as they will put me on tablets

yes, my doctor wanted to do this, as after days of no sleep and distress from seeing my baby in pain i broke down in tears in her office saying "there must be something you can give him, he's in so much pain?" so she said she was not worried about ruben as he was putting on loads of weigth (hello, how could you not be concerned about a baby in constant pain?????) but more worried about me and she would prescribe me antideps.

i went mental at her, completely went off on one (didn't shout, but didn't mince my words that much either) and told her in plain terms that she could write me the prescription for antideps but it would be a waste of paper as it would go straight in the bin. what i needed was something for my baby to relieve his pain and if she didn't either prescribe something or refer him to a paeditrician i would be back EVERY day until she did, and that she should try looking after a baby with reflux 24-7 for a week and see if she wouldn't be tearing your hair out. she looked gobsmacked, but it clearly worked, she prescribed ruben cimetidine on a repeat prescription straight away!

don't let them fob you off hun - GPs are allowed to prescribe these things too, not just paeditricians! snapping at rebecca does not make you a bad mum, you're just emotionally and physically worn out - living with a reflux baby can make anyone lose their minds from worry and exhaustion!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

AWWWW hunni i really do feel for u

i agree with the girls!! i wish i could say summit else but i think that they have covered everythign

 

[Yvonne]

AAAAWWWW Hun i don't have any advice, but i just wanted to say Good on ya for opening up

When i had PND with Amy the doctor asked me all questions under the sun and still didn't believe me
So i know what you mean about the PND check sheet, you wouldn't go to the docs if there wasn't a problem

 

[tracyM]

020 7404 5011 is the number for crysis, a helpline for the carers of crying babies. They might have a support group in your area - the one I went to with Daniel was a godsend. It helped knowing there were other mums that put up with sreaming 24/7 when everybody else said it's not possible - it is possible. My GP implied I was a naive teen mum who didn't realise babies cried and tried putting me on anti-depressants - crysis gave me the confidence to keep going back

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

My GP implied I was a naive teen mum who didn't realise babies cried and tried putting me on anti-depressants - crysis gave me the confidence to keep going back

id have gone ape, just coz ur a teen mum doesnt mean u dont know babys cry wot they ment to do sing a nursery ryme

PS. sorry the nurse i saw the other day sed the same thing coz i sed he is very upset at the mo coz his teething is there nething i could put on there lol

 

Oh hun what a nightmare, I know where you are coming from and seeing you LO in so much pain is heartbreaking. I had the same with Damien for months, he is strating to settle now finally after me kicking and screaming to see a paediatrition (might have been sped up by the fact he kept stopping breathing + going blue).

What milk is Rebecca on? If she isnt on it already, put her on Omneo comfort, this sorted Damien out. Within a week he was a different baby, and now he smiles more and is happier. If she didn't settle on Omneo, try SMA Staydown (which can be put on prescription, omneo cant).

I don't know what else to say hun but I really do sympathise with you, and trust me, it does get easier. I know you think it'll always be this way, but one day you will wake up and think 'actually, it is getting better'. and you'll remember these days and it will seem so far away.

Keep strong sweetie xxxxx

 

[K X]

Rebecca is currently on StayDown, useless. Gaviscon, waste of time, just made constipation 100 times worse. The Dr's aren't concerned as she is "putting on weight". And? So it doesn't matter if she is in constant pain but as long as she is gaining weight...Yeah right. Thanks for your replies, it cheers me up no end. I think i am just at a low eb just now, and have been for a while, but i can no longer put on the brave face. Someone just needs to ask "how are you" and that's me in floods of tears. doesn't seem any light at the end of the tunnel just now.

x

 

[melhoney]

I am so sorry, to read what nyou are going through!
can't really give you any advice, I haven't been through this...yet!
BUT, Maheen has had a couple of days when she just would not stop screaming, and I became very irritable myself, and after 3 days of it, just could not stop crying, so I can definitely understand that you feel the way you do, and I actually find you very brave. You have dealt with it a million times better than I would have! It's fine to feel the way you are!

You said staff at the nursery also found her difficult to deal with, I was thinking...maybe you could ak them to write a letter to take to your GP or whatever medical staff to show them you are not going mad, but there is actuallya problem that they should consider solving!!!!
I can't believe how much s**t we take from them!
To be honest, I have stopped asking them for any advice, I get all the info I need on here! I got fed up, everytime, I was saying something, they would give me that look to put me down!
Keep on talking to us, I know it won't stop Rebecca from crying and feeling hurt, but it will at leaqst give you some break!

Keep going at them (I mean, the medical staff) it's their job to help you!

lots of hugs <<<<hugsssss>>>>>
mel xx

 

[beanie]

Sorry I don't have any further advice then what has already been said but just wanted to say that you are not alone, we are all here for you xxx