Im Scared :(

[mummykay]

For the first time in the past 8months Im actually begining to get worried and anxious about goin into labour?

Iv wanted a natural birth for as long as possible and have only just got scared at the thought of the pain or complications?

It keeps me awake at night (as does my little one dancing to his hearts content) and watchin birthing programmes and reading about it only scares me stiff?

Is anyone else worried, Im so scared something bad will happen and itl b all my fault that Im considering a caesarean just to b on the safe side?

Wot does everyone else think?

Very scared kaylee

 

[Minxy]

It IS scary, isn't it? have been feeling the same with a couple of little outbursts when I realise there's no going back!

First things first though, you MUST stop watching the HORROR channel! Everyone's experience is so different, if watching strange women moan and groan isn't helping, don't do it.

Also, I'm not sure a C-section is being on the 'safe side'. It's true it helps some people prepare by taking away the surprise element but it IS abdominal surgery and recovery can be long and painful. I'm genuinely interested into why you think it would help? I've heard others share your opinion but I don't really get it?

There's every chance you can and will experience a really positive birth however LO chooses to arrive. That's what I keep telling myself anyway!

Good Luck to us all!

 

[Melanie]

Im crapping myself too hun. I dont have any great advice or anything but i wanted to let you know you arent alone!

 

[foxymum]

i'm scared too hun & its my 3rd baby!!
you just never know what your labour will be till it comes, with my first it was quite easy, i arrived at hosp fully dilated after not realising i was in labour all that day as tha pain was in my back.
2 pushes & she was born

my 2nd though was a whole other story!! slow labour over 3 days (at home) went to hosp 1pm coz i'd had my show, thinking of my daughters fast birth i thought this is it, but no i was only 3 cms dilated & stayed that way until about midnight, then i progressed fast & my son was born at 2.50 am, after nearly 2 hours of pushing

i too have thought about a c section too, but its a long recovery & you can't look after the baby as you would with a normal birth for a while, plus you can't drive for 6 wks after

opt for a epidural, i think i'm gonna try one this time.
as for complications, you'll be well looked after & put your trust in the midwifes/docs, they know what they are doing.
every birth is different no matter how many kids you have, you'll be fine hun.
xx

 

[mummykay]

I think i think a caesarean would b safer in the fact the doctor can c evrything goin on as he in charge - whereas with a normal birth its me who is in charge and I dont know if i can handle it!

The main thing im worried about i the cord bein around his neck - that terrifies me!!

 

[budge]

im crapping myself too and its my 4th. But what you have to think is that its got to come out nowwhatever.
I lay in bed thinking of the birth and stressing out. But once your in the situation your body sort of takes over and you get on with it.

You'll be fine chick

 

[Minxy]

The cord thing is scary, I keep worrying he'll have a huge head and I won't be able to push him out! And of course, you never know how you're gonna cope with the pain, although help is available.

It's such a waiting game, and it's natures way that we start to get so big and immobile that we sit here and can't think of much else....

* Zoe fast forwards in her head to 6 weeks time reading lots of lovely births stories including her own......* I'm trying positive thinking, it's all we've got!

 

[hayley]

it's normal to worry.. if we didn't we'd be crazy!

but it's not like the midwifes haven't done this before and i bet they've come across the cord around the babies neck many times before.. they just deal with it... to them it's their every day job! as others have said your body's adrenaline kicks in and takes over. The midwifes know wat to do have trust in them and your body.

This is my first time and i have no idea what to expect.. been asking very pregnant woman i meet what their experiences have been to try and get some idea of what might happen but every story has been different. The endings have all been the same... they get to hold their babies and would do it all again if they had to... worth every pain/push..

I wouldn't opt for a c section thou! i hate not being mobile.. i know afterwards would drive me crazy. Strugling to pick up baby in car seat, stuggle to pick baby up out of crib, struggle getting up out of bed, struggle walking.... no not for me!

x

 

[skatty]

I am so scared of childbirth that I am having a caesarean. I have a real phobia (tocophobia) and contrary to what people think its not because of the pain, I know I can have an epidural for that. Its the not knowing what could happen and the tearing. I have been scared since I was 5 and overheard conversations about my Mum's heart stopping while giving birth to my little brother. they both nearly died and although I know things are different nowadays I cannot control the anxiety. I am obsessed with birth stories and they horrify me! I have waited until now I am 33 to go ahead and at my 8 week appointment with my doc he advised a section. I know it wont be easy but I'm mentally prepared for it.

Kaylee I think the fact that you wanted a natural birth is great and I am sure you can do it. Have you thought about getting some hypnotherapy or something to help your anxiety? Also maybe you would feel better knowing that if you need pain relief that is ok too. Have you written a birth plan, they say worries that are on your mind often ease once they are on paper. Whatever you decide I whish you a good labour

 

[Minxy]

Skatty, I think you're very brave. Any phobia should not be underestimated and it must have been a big thing for you to decide to start a family.

I often see the term 'natural' used to describe vaginal delivery or a pain-relief free labour and I think it's such a loaded word. Being a 'natural' woman should be about doing what is best for you (and therefore your baby's) wellbeing.

After all, getting them here safe and sound is the primary goal of labour!

Ok, I'll put my soap box away now

 

[skatty]

aww thanks LittleMinx

It is kind of shameful to admit sometimes because there are some people out there that don't understand but this is something that has given me nightmares many times over the years and I still have anxious dreams where they tell me its too late and I have to give birth and I panic My doc and midwife were both great and said that although most women are anxious there are not so many that are phobic but for those that are it has to be taken seriously. I think I will be a poster girl for the tocophobics after I have my LO!!

 

[mummykay]

thanks for ur comments girls, i thought i was bein silly about it

i know my breathin techniques, gonna have my relaxed OH with me and im hopefully in gd hands so i can stop stressing and get on with it - im sure my little boy is more than worth it!

 

[Miracle babe]

Skatty hun I suffer with secondary Tocophobia and its true thats its no joke and it needs to be taken seriously. I've had months of councelling to try and prepare me for this birth but I'm still officially crapping myself and they still dont know and wont know until sept 20th if they will let me go on my own. For me the best thing I've done is put my birthplan in the bin as it all went so pear shaped last time thats where it ended up anyway. I was soooooooo obsessed with having a natural birth that I didnt get an epidural for 20 hours. When I did get one I could have given birth to a rhino and I'd have been none the wiser. This time I'll be getting one at the first twinge.
Think everyone has to make their own decision as my daughter ended up with a severly traumatised and depressed mother for the first 2 years of her life, sorry but dont think it did either of us any good, natural shmateral if you ask me

 

[SarahH]

I worried myself somethiong stupid about labour but to be honest I'd go back and do it all again. Somehow your body just tells you what to do. I had no idea about my breathing - when I went to ante natal they said I'd been breathing fine for 22yrs why do thy need to teach me!

You'll all do perfectly well!!

S. xx

 

[chezzabell]

Iam having a c section and iam shitting myself about it, i had a emergency section with sophie and was so tired and out of it on gas and air i dont really remeber what it was like, so this time iam very worried about my birth.

But i try and tell myself not to worry everything will be ok and how many woman go through birth every day.

Try not to worry hun

 

[skatty]

Thanks Miracle Babe! I saw my midwife today and she reiterated that my anxiety would not be good for myself or the baby so am seeing the consultant on 6th Sep and will get a firm date. I feel like a worry has been lifted, especially as she told me my baby is big for someone my size Trust me to fall for a scandanavian viking!

I hope you have a better birth this time, my best mate had exactly the same. A very traumatic birth with her son and her recounting of it for 2 years everytime I saw her didn't help my phobia! She had a section with her daughter and was so happy