I'm not really back...tmi though!

[jarjar7]

Hey Ladies...how you all doing? As my title suggests...I'm not REALLY back, I just desperately need some advice please.

As some of you know, I am taking a break from the forum for a while to try and de-stress the TTC journey...however, I cant seem to think about anything else. I'm still counting days etc...My estimated OV is Sunday and I am pretty much dripping with EWCM (sorry but I did say tmi!!!) but the last week my OH has been seriously ill with a gum infection so obviously BD has been off the menu...he is a bit better now but still hasn't got the energy to BD and from tomorrow I am staying at my Mum's for a couple of days til Sunday so I'm pretty much taking it that this month is gonna be a definite BFN...and its given me the hump.

Sooo, my question is, what is the best way to try and 'get over' TTC and actually not stress about it???? I know some of you have 'not thought' about TTC and got your BFP's that same month, how did you do it???

Oh and by the way, my ticker is obviously out of sync at the mo!
Thanks Ladies. xxxx

 

[Geminiblue]

Hey Jarjar - well last month I sent myself bonkers

I ditched the opks
Limited the amount of time i was on the internet seaching for answers just anything to tell me I was pregnant (which is bonkers as its just a waiting game)

Everytime I started to think about it I replaced it with another thought, i.e. plan a receipe to make something nice for my oh when he got back from work, spoke to someone on the phone, went for a walk went for a run etc etc. Move a muscle change an emotion someone once said to me. Does this make sense? Eventually, you reprogramme your brain to think of something else rather than obsessing and being stressed. Now this is all good in theory, it works for me but you have to try it for a time, I think its basic Cognitive Behavioural Therapy type techniques, Im sure someone will put be right though. Just an idea but I do feel better, we havent bd'd much either and I think I may have missed my ovulation but thats ok, I am trying to plan my days more and be more positive about things and visualise when I have another child not if. Good luck honey and hope you feel better xxx

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Hey Jarjar....nice to see you again even if just briefly!

Ok as you know I was in TTC for a while and after 6 months was able to get tests done etc. I think that along with AF leaving and me being due to OV the next day just made me think RIGHT! I need a break, the stress of it all wasnt helping me or DH and Id had enough of being so obsessed about it all!

I didnt once have sex in the baby making posistions, didnt chart, didnt guess, didnt test, didnt temp, just DTD when WE wanted to...no legs or bum in the air and every time I WAS ON TOP!

I just mentally gave up and look what happened!

Im not saying that it might not have happened anyway....but I honestly think by us just having a bit of time out it worked coz we were totally distracted by other stuff!

I know its easy and until your mentally ready to switch off its hard to do...but if you can throw yourself into anything else then i say DO IT! Even if it means taking up a hobby or something that you can get carried away with....

Hope this is of some help...and really hope your back here asap with your BFP! xxx

 

[LouiseB]

Hiya Jarjar

Can't your OH just chill out and get serviced... if you know what i mean. I think my OH runs out of energy on purpose sometimes haha

I didn't get my BFP yet, but the only thing that kept ttc out of my mind was putting distance between me and OH and keeping busy.

I went to visit family and friends and basically came home and only went to bed after my OH was already asleep.

It didn't feel as obvious as it sounds and it reallly was the only couple of days that i haven't even thought about ttc until it gave me a headache and i felt mentally rested enough to cope better with the rest of the month.

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

HIya hunni!!

Nice to see you back - even if your not staying!!
I haven't been thinking much about ttc this month - I've kinda got my head around the whole it will happen when it happens way of thinking.
I am still temp charting and keeping an eye on my dates but thats all. Plus my cycles have now changed due to the accupuncture - which I'm still having!

I really wanted to be pg before hubby turns 40 in september but I'm not thinking too much about it now!

Also I have been doing whatever I can in the evenings to keep myself busy - it really helps to take my mind off everything. I have recently bought a large fish tank and have been busy researching different types of fish to keep and thats helped keep my mind away from all things baby!!

Sorry to hear your OH has had a gum infection - I've just got over one so I know its not nice!
Maybe you could get some nice undies on and seduce him later to show him how much you've missed being close to him while he's been ill.

Take care hunni x x x x

 

[lspencer]

hey hun,

i know it's SOO hard not to think about it. We tried for almost 2 years and all it took was a vacation for us during that "time". Since I knew that I would be ovulating is those few days, I was able to just relax and enjoy it since most of the time if you're on vacay you bd all the time and you're busy out doing things and not sitting in the house thinking about it all the time. Good Luck

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh I've missed you Jar Jar!

Well with my second son, It took 10 mths , and I fell pregnant when we stopped trying. We both hated the chore of TTC esp with me on 10-2am shifts and OH on days, so we would get together at 230am before sleeping. We just stopped with the routene sex on magic days, and did it when we fancied at random times as that was actually when we wanted it, not at 230am! and we fell pregnant that month. I think just the change of mindset.

Try not to worry about OH , ake a fuss of him this month while he recovers, so you miss a few weeks, he will realise this and really appreicate you left him be and reep the rewards next month from him maybee.

Hang in there, and hope to see you back on here when your ready

 

[smess26]

hey lovely!!!! hope your doing ok lovely!!! how are things going?? xxx

 

[jarjar7]

Hey Ladies...thanks so much for your advice...I'm trying my best to just not think about it but finding it difficult...I know for definite I'll be out this month considering we haven't managed it once...not once!! That wasn't what I expected when I said we were taking a step back from TTC!! But my OH has been really ill as I said before so I'm letting him off, kind of! I am hoping that having this month KNOWING nothing is going to happen will help me chill out etc cos I wont be doing the SS and I'm just expecting to come on like I did before we started TTC....Thanks again ladies...good luck to you all and see you all soon. xxx

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

At least you know that you are definately going to get AF hun and wont be worrying about all the SS.

Good luck for next month though hunni, I've got my fingers crossed for you x x x