Im lost :(

[Wubzy]

Hi all! Where do i start..

Well iv been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a half now.Im 21 and he's aloot older than me.things were really bad in the beginning as he still lived with his ex.to cut a story short.now he is trying to buy out his ex,Im 10 weeks pregnant (not planned).
When i found out i was pregnant,i was so happy,couldn't stop smiling.now he is trying to buy his ex out.all he ever talks about i feel so alone and lost and now Im thinking this is all a big mistake.
I Dont think he wants the baby,doesn't really talk to me about..well doesn't talk to me about anything i sit and. cry and wonder if its the biggest mistake Il ever make.

We went to ikea (he needed to buy kitchen stuff) we passed the baby section,i stopped to have a look around,wasn't going to buy anything.he just didn't care at all.didn't even smile or say anything.i just Dont know and now Im dropping out of uni.

Im so depressed,iv never felt so low

 

[MrsR]

Maybe in his mind the way he can look after you and the baby is to buy out his ex so you guys will have somewhere to live together without any hassle. Men don't usually get excited or think about the same things we do, for example we love looking at baby things, they prefer to do practical things x hope you are ok x

 

[Wubzy]

Yes you are right,but men who want to be fathers are at least a little bit happy about it.where as he is not he just ignores it.

 

[MrsR]

Have you had a scan yet? A lot of men don't connect with the baby until the scans or even until birth! Especially if baby was unplanned he might still be processing x

 

[evie_smith]

My husband didn't care lol it wasn't untill the birth haha he was happy with my first he knew it was a girl and we bought £100 worth of clothes named her issabelle then that was it till I had twinges haha!!

With zander he didn't care said he wasn't happy and then was disappointed it was a boy but we eventually with persuasion named him and bought about £80 worth of clothes lol

With Chloe he was happy are third think he figured out t actually was a baby straight away lol third time lucky ey! But I bought all the stuff and still do coz I want to xx

 

[Wubzy]

No have not had a scan yet,iv been told to wait till Im 12 weeks.doctors said won't hear a heart beat till the 12.yeah well i thought he would be more understanding and loving I feel like Im on my own in this.

 

[Squeakz]

hey hun, how are you feeling, just randomly bumped in to this thread and thought i would reply! I always wanted a baby, more than anything in the whole wide world. i begged phil (oh) to let me have one and we'd be a little family. i then found out i was pregnant. at the time it was the worst thing in the world. i wasnt connected to the baby despite him being in me, i couldnt get my head round it, i cried and cried about how much i didnt want this 'thing'. I know it sounds harsh and my god, after about 6 months i 'came round' and J is my whole world, i love him to pieces. I hated going shopping for stuff etc....i know this is a really extreme account but it might just be that your oh hasnt got hi head around it yet, or that he's really stressed about buying his ex out etc......dont worry, emotions like wanting a baby and loving it can take time for a woman never mind a man. He doesn't get cravings, morning sickness or that over whelming feeling of omg im having a baby etc....

sit down and talk to him about it. how your feeling etc etc its the only way you will get to know how he is feeling as well??

i hope that might have helped!? hope you're well and let us know how things go on.

 

[cherrybinky]

Hi hunny, I just saw this thread too and had to reply. Ive never been maternal or wanted kids. Then I met OH and he already has 2 little ones who I adore and now were having one together and Im over the moon but hes just as laid back as always. More concerned about decorating the house and what his work kids are doing. Its because men sometimes just dont show emotions or dont want to get caught up in all the things we do. After all, were carrying the baby and its our feelings and emotions that are on the line directly so to speak. He will come round
Hugs
X

 

[tipper]

I think it's really hard for men in general to wrap their minds around their OH being pregnant, even more so if it was a surprise.

My DH and I weren't actively trying to get pregnant, but then we weren't exactly trying NOT to get pregnant either as we had stopped using any B/C. We figured we would let nature run things for awhile. But even so, when I got my BFP he was completed shocked and I would say a bit terrified.
I did the typical female thing and started reading everything I possibly could about being pregnant, he did the guy-thing (maybe not so typical) and would barely talk to me about the new development.

I'd say it took him a good month to really wrap his mind around things, but even still he wasn't overly thrilled, probably still terrified. Jump ahead to now, and he has become much more involved and excited, although I still think it's easier for him to forget about since he isn't the one hatching the baby.

I would suggest letting him come to terms with it in his own way. Try not to take his reaction too personally as I'm sure he will eventually be on the same page as you. Also, about trying to buy out his ex - I agree with what has been said and that maybe he is just trying to wrap this up now so you have a place to live and don't have to bother with it later on down the road.

 

[MaybeAFlumpx]

Hey, i didn't want to read and run.
I know how you must be feeling, My fiance is exactly the same as you. He's all happy about wanting kids and im a bit reserved at the moment. He gets awfully broody when his nieces and nephews come and see him and he can't wait until we have a baby. We've had a few close calls in regards to pregnancy.

But im sure he'll come around to the idea eventually, and as all the other ladies maybe he's still processing the thought that he's going to be a dad! ..

Good luck hun, im sure things will only get better from here