I would love another baby but I'm not sure about the timing

[Uh123]

Hey everyone.. Hope you're all okay.

I just wanted an opinion from people who don't know me.

I already have 2 children. A 4 year old, and 3 year old. I would like to have another baby. But I have some concerns.

I suffer from mental health, and also my pregnancies can be quite difficult. By this I mean, I have to come off the medication I take as the drugs can interact with baby in 1st and 2nd trimester. I end up with gestational diabetes when I'm pregnant and as I come off my medication I go through crazy sickness. Also, I'm currently near the end of my first year at university. I'll be honest. My husband isn't that supportive when it comes to looking after kids, or things at home. So these factors are really making me think twice about trying for baby number 3 and that being the last. Both my children are in full time nursery. The thing is when people ask me if I want more, I'm quick to jump and say no. But deep inside I feel different.

From what I've briefly mentioned, does anyone agree or disagree that the timing of conceiving is or isn't right?

I understand this is something only I can know the answer to. I spoke to my husband and he said to wait to finish uni etc, which is obviously wise. But on the other hand he said if I really wanted then he would love to.

 

[chattychar1990]

It is a tricky one.
But I think you have brought up 2 children and you have been through the shit of it so if you want another child the bad bits can’t be that bad, if that makes any sense?!
I’m not sure how long it took you to conceive your other 2 but it could take a while before you fall pregnant again so if you both want another child I would say go for it?
Like you said though it’s obviously down to both you and your husband.
Wish you all the luck x

 

[Uh123]

It is a tricky one.
But I think you have brought up 2 children and you have been through the shit of it so if you want another child the bad bits can’t be that bad, if that makes any sense?!
I’m not sure how long it took you to conceive your other 2 but it could take a while before you fall pregnant again so if you both want another child I would say go for it?
Like you said though it’s obviously down to both you and your husband.
Wish you all the luck x

Thank you for your reply. Well I got married in 2012, and I had my first child in 2015. I was using contraception for the first year, so technically it took me a good 2 years or so to conceive. My second one wasn't planned, and I got pregnant pretty much right after having my 1st. They are 11 months apart. It was hard but I managed to pull through. But u are right, I don't know how long it will take me conceive. I am using protection at the moment.

 

[chattychar1990]

Thank you for your reply. Well I got married in 2012, and I had my first child in 2015. I was using contraception for the first year, so technically it took me a good 2 years or so to conceive. My second one wasn't planned, and I got pregnant pretty much right after having my 1st. They are 11 months apart. It was hard but I managed to pull through. But u are right, I don't know how long it will take me conceive. I am using protection at the moment.

If I was you I would stop using contraception and just maybe go from there. You don’t have to be ‘trying’ right away, you could just go with the flow and if it happens quickly then it happens and if it doesn’t atleast you will be ready once uni finishes to start trying properly x

 

[Staceylou27]

My advice would be to think about how coming of your medication and the difficult pregnancy would affect your uni work? Would you have to take time off from uni and would you return to finish your course? I’ve been to uni myself and know how hard it can be and that was without any children.
In the long run finishing uni will be a positive thing for your family and I’m making a presumption (possibly a wrong one) that you’re still young enough to have a 3rd child after you’ve finished uni.

That’s just my sensible advice! But on the other hand what is right timing? They say there’s never a right time, only you will know that x

 

[Uh123]

My advice would be to think about how coming of your medication and the difficult pregnancy would affect your uni work? Would you have to take time off from uni and would you return to finish your course? I’ve been to uni myself and know how hard it can be and that was without any children.
In the long run finishing uni will be a positive thing for your family and I’m making a presumption (possibly a wrong one) that you’re still young enough to have a 3rd child after you’ve finished uni.

That’s just my sensible advice! But on the other hand what is right timing? They say there’s never a right time, only you will know that x

This is exactly how i have been thinking of it. Well, I finish uni in 2021, fingers crossed.. and I will be 30!! So yes, i can still conceive if i wanted to. All my family wish for me to finish uni first (including my husband). It is only me thats pushing him to another baby. I mean, he does want another, another two actually but after uni. Ive always wanted to go uni and he doesnt want me to jeopardise it for something that i can do after uni. Pregnancy really is a big thing for me, in terms of my health. For now, I have to outweigh everything, and see what conclusion is best. I have another two years of uni, which is not that long. Personally, I will be happier to finish uni first then baby. But baby fever is really getting to me!

 

[EmmaN27]

I would wait until you have finished university, you already have 2 young children and are still young. Ultimately, it's yours and your partners decision. x

 

[Uh123]

I would wait until you have finished university, you already have 2 young children and are still young. Ultimately, it's yours and your partners decision. x

Hi Emma, I do have to agree with you. It is the better option for me. Pregnancy and babies are very unpredictable. Uni is stressful as it is.

 

[WinterWolf]

Personally I’d finish uni first. Its only 2 years away. You could start TTC in a year and then even if you get pregnant right away you should still be able to finish before baby is born. x

 

[Uh123]

Personally I’d finish uni first. Its only 2 years away. You could start TTC in a year and then even if you get pregnant right away you should still be able to finish before baby is born. x

You are definitely right. I do have to set my feelings aside and continue with uni. I already do have two children so adding another on top of uni, I believe is a little selfish. Plus I need to consider relapsing which can happen with mental healthm I don't want to be in a situation where I become unwell. I appreciate everyone's answers and opinions. It has opened my eyes and I will hve to agree with those who have said to finish uni first, or even try to conceive in a year or so. XXX