I want to feel sexy again....

[jodied]

Had a little cry last night because I'm worrying that hubby doesn't find me sexy at the moment! He loves my boobs but because I'm bf obviously I doubt they have quite the same appeal! My tummy is flabby and has stretch marks and the tops of my legs feel huge. I talked to hubby and he is lovely and said I'm being too hard on myself and I only had a baby five weeks ago. I know he's right but I just want to feel sexy again! How long did it take you to feel sexy after having a baby and when did you start having sex again? My bleeding is only just stopping so obviously haven't dtd yet

 

[Piglet10]

without those war wounds u wud have an amazing body but be childless!? so dont be so ridiculous u r gorg and ur hubby still fancies u!! its pro ur self esteem cos when preg all dignity goes out the window lmao!! why dont u make an effort some night where he does all baby duties and u just pamper urself!! do ur hair nails have a bath stick on some tan etc and maybe buy some nice undies to show ur appreciation for ur night off and see how sexy he finds u?!? ur never going to get ur old body back!! but do you REALLY want it? no! ur lovely as u r with ur lil princess and im 100% ur hubby wudnt change anything for the world!! xx

 

[catty1]

Oh Jodied, I know how you feel x

I have been crying loads this last month and I have not really left the house for the last few weeks as I feel so disgustingly fat. I know I have not even had the baby yet but I'm so angry with myself for letting myself go so badly. I've gained over 4 stone now and I'm only 5ft 4! that's almost half my original body weight gained.

From the photos I've seen of you I don't think you need to worry. You look gorgeous and so happy with your little one. I think that the happiness you are radiating in your photos and your posts is far more attractive than a perfect body. Also, from what you have said about your OH, he seems lovely and I'm guessing that we are both very lucky as we have gorgeous OH's that will always find us attractive no matter what.

Don't worry about having sex again. It will happen when you are both ready and when it happens is not a measure of your attractiveness.

Just remember there are people out there (i.e. me!) who are very jealous of you having your gorgeous bubba. I always read your pregnancy journal and think your life sounds lovely. I look forward to joining you on your weight loss thread i a few weeks.

I hope that wasn't too much
xxx

 

[lea554]

Oh hun, I feel exactly the same

Although it feels like we had our LO's ages ago, in reality 5 weeks is such a short space of time - I think that becuase you are bf, its obviously going to restrict you in more ways than if you werent. But im bottle-feeding, and although im not happy with myself, im just plodding on with my weightwatchers, and trying to get out and walk every other day. And even for doing that, im still getting lectures left right and chelsea (see facebook page, lol) for doing that too soon! And I just wanna say to those people that I know my body, and I know when im not at my best, and dont hate me for wanting to get back to normal!
Im also waiting for my bleeding to stop (i think it is, and then it starts again?), and I think once you have dtd, that will take a lot of pressure off, and you will start to feel a lot more normal again.

God, im waffling on, and that probably made no sense - lack of sleep is seriously starting to get to me!
But chin up hun, what you are feeling is completly normal, and we can plough our way through our weight-loss together (said whilst eating crisps - whoops!)

 

[jodied]

Thanks ladies you are all so lovely! Of course I wouldn't change having my beautiful girl - as you say maybe a pamper is in order and I've just got to give myself time to lose the weight. Lea I'm exactly the same with the bleeding - keeps tricking me into thinking it's stopped but it hasn't! Feeling much better after reading all your kind comments

 

[sarl1967]

Aww hunni - im the same - im just kinda getting used to the idea that my body will never be the same still have down time and LO is 9 weeks old today - done lots of retail therapy past few days with OH sis and it helped lol - OH wouldnt go try for sex 4 weeks and i thought it was my body turned out it was cause he was worried he would hurt me - but now back in the saddle so to speak i wont lie the first time hurt but worth it lol

 

[amandapanda]

I feel exactly the same Jodie - although the giant hole in my abdomen c section wound isn't helping matters - I feel disgusting! Although I've lost weight rapidly - am now weighing less than before I was pregnant - my body has definitely changed - my boobs have drooped and the skin seems loose and I seem to have an inflatable ring around my stomach! I'm in the unfortunate position that I won't be able to do any serious exercise for a few more months - am trying to get out for walks but even that leaves my c section wound aching like hell so I have to take it easy. My husband keeps telling me I am sexy but I really don't feel it at all - I had sex all through my pregancy, but now baby is here my sex drive has disappeared - mainly cause I feel so gross! Have been watching lots of 'how to look good naked' and know it's all about confidence and making the best of yourself - so have a haircut booked for tomorrow and am going to buy a new uplifting bra to lift the droopy boobs! Am also thinking of treating myself to one or 2 new items of clothing (although am a bit skint at the mo) just to lift myself and make myself feel good in my clothes - then maybe the feelings of sexiness will follow xxx

 

[titch]

I feel like my body, especially my belly took about 8 months to settle down, for ages my abdominal muscles were nowhere near the middle and I had a proper beer gut sticking out, I really thought it was forever but its settled back to normal now. I dunno if its because I had a section or not that it took so long. You will get there hun, just let nature do its thing.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

In the first 5 months after having Jasper, we had sex 1.5 times... .5 because i was just trying to get it over with and stop myself from crying and Liam wouldnt carry on.

We had to take it RIGHT back to basics, we had to literally become teenagers again, lots of kissing, cuddling, hugging eachother, massage but with the complete understanding that it would NOT lead on to sex

eventually, i began to feel sexy again and we eventual had sex but had to take it really slow

in the end it was great! It totally re-juvinated our sex life Its been better than it was before

 

[Maria1977]

I didn't really look at my body til Oscar was about 5 weeks old. I'd been polyhydramnios and was measuring full term from 26/27 weeks, by the end I was measuring 55 wks and at 5'4" that was a big bump! Plus being ill meant I started mat leave early and sat around and just ate lol, put all my baby weight on in the last 8ish weeks (well most of it anyways lol)

Then ended up having to have an emergency section, something I so didn't want and when I finally looked at my stomach I just cried and cried and cried. Looked at my baby then cried some more because I felt guilty that I wanted my pre-pregnancy body back!

But I waited til 3 months and started running again, I ran til I was 4 months pregnant and so was naughty and didn't wait the 6 months after op. I now run 6 days a week and even though it's hard to shift I finally feel I look like me again. Still got loads to lose, but it's done my confidence so good and my body shape is slowly changing every week. I still have my c-section belly, but without it my son would've died so I can't really hate it.

Our LOs are worth it defo xxxxxxxx

 

[titch]

I've been there with the endless crying and guilt for feeling so awful which only makes you feel even worse!

Its great to hear someone else explain it, reminds me I'm 'normal'

Well done for running, when my LO was 3 months I considered getting showered and dressed an achievement!

 

[Maria1977]

Some days are so much harder than others, but once I've done it I feel alot better for it xx