i thought i was the boss

[mandii]

i seriously think sometimes people forget who they are talking to, im pregnant with my second child and all i have had throughout this pregnancy is stress from the inlaws be it them dictating to me about names/godparents, asking for constant favours or just being generally unnice.

the stress they have put me under led to me getting carpel tunnel syndrome in my hand, ive had severe migranes due to the stress and have finally had enough.

they dont see my 2yr old son regularly but expect to see new one as much as they want...........erm NO.

my oh and i have already discussed their visiting arrangements for when the baby is here and i know it wont be good enough for them.

i feel that the first week the baby is here then they can see him/her for 2 hours max on their first visit and an hour any other visit in the first week or two my hubby is on paternity leave,

when my hubby goes back to work i think visits should be left for the weekend to allow me to adjust to life as a mum of 2 rather than being a mum of 2 with a house full of visitors but i know for a fact im going to be hounded non stop so will be telling them all on their first visit to see the baby exactly how its going to happen as i dont need stress as soon as my new arrival is here.

my FIL is constantly dictating what i should and shouldnt do with my 2 year old son who he has seen twice since january.

from now on i am laying down the law and if they dont like it then thats their problem.

sorry for the rant but i cant keep it bottled up anymore xxx

 

[Kayelle]

Too right, you do as you feel is best. You are the one doing this so you need to feel happy and relaxed as poss. Ppl don't realise what a masive change it all is! X

 

[mandii]

honestly had enough actual breaking my heart at how they treat me had another argument with the sis in law today and my OH is having a major go at me for it x

 

[Kayelle]

I'm annoyed that your oh is having a go, he should be speaking to his sister! X

 

[mandii]

his sister bullied my hubbys ex wife, now shes playing her wee games with me, OH doesnt want to fall out with his family x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Tell them all to like it or lump it. Don't get stressed, the problem is theirs, not yours xxx

 

[mandii]

i did cosmic have done for a while told them hes my son so what i say goes and my SIL wont accept that, she was telling me yesterday that when baby is here i cant ban people from visiting when hubby goes back to work after paternity leave (i only want mon-fri afternoon myself with my 2 kids and visitors can come up friday afternoons - sunday) but thats not good enough im fed up having to please everyone x

 

[Kayelle]

Sil is a twat, sorry but who the hell is she to say that??? You can do what you like he's your baby!!

 

[Jayjay027]

If people show up when u don't want them there, just don't answer the door! They'll soon learn to stick to ur agreed times x

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[Sarah7]

It's hard but tell them where to go if they don't like it. It's you having to get into a routine so just let them deal with it if it's not to their liking. They should do what you want and need, you know what's best for your family. Stick to your guns and hopefully your OH will have a word with them about it eventually xx

 

[mandii]

well i took a panic attack last night due to the confrontations and had to go for an emergency GP appointment today told SIL she could watch her nephew to let me go to the GP and she could take him to the soft play i told her if he was hungry to get him food from the soft play as it doesnt fill him up as much so it wouldnt spoil his dinner and not to take him to mcds, fair to say she went behind my back and took him to mcds then when i stood my ground all i got was that im a bad mum, im a psycho bitch, shes going to turn her whole family against me and that im lying about the amount of stress and lying about having a panic attack, im worse than my husbands ex wife who was a manic depressive with psychological issues x

 

[LouiseB]

I don't know why you have to tell them anything, it just opens dialogue and causes confrontation.

They don't need to be told in advance and you don't need to justify yourself. You acknowledging that they have to be kept informed only enforces their sense of self-importance.

Only you and OH need to know the rules and then support each other.

If they are still lingering around after 2 hours, make an excuse to take the baby and announce you're off to bed and they are OHs problem.

If they pop around on a weekday and you don't want them there, don't let them in xx

 

[mandii]

after all the bitching and fighting yesterday i thought that was an end to it till i woke up this morning to be called a psycho off my son which proves to me his aunt was bitching about me to her friends infront of my son, i am now no longer allowing her to have my son alone anymore. ive reached breaking point and had to go to maternity hospital last night for an emergency check as they thought i was in premature labour at 14 weeks x