I need opinions/advice please

[leanne1b]

Hi all.
Okay, well my sex drive used to be quite high, then went to normal, about 18 mths ago it dropped to virtually nothing. Then I got pregnant (so obv not nothing entirely!) but still not in the mood. Im now 11 weeks post partum... And we havent had sex since I was about 7 mths pregnant (and even then I stopped coz was too painful) Sinc January its only been about... 5/6times? I love my bf, find him v attractive, I just have no drive. Not interested, really don't ant to be intimate in anyway. I don't know what to do. My bf isn't annoyed with me... but he's def getting there. He's v understanding, but I feel so bad. I couldn't even blame him if he went and cheated on me.
I wish I wanted it, but I can't make myself do something I don't want to?
x

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I have no sex drive either hun nomore, so i wouldnt know how to help when i dont want it myself. Will maybe make you feel better your not alone? see what the others say xxx

P.s on my fertile days i had to force myself to have sex to get pregnant.

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Your completly normal hun! Before having Lacey, me and Tim were at it all the time then fell pregnant and found it sore throughout the pregnancy then after giving birth I just wasn't intrested! We hardly had it for 2years after having Lacey and even up to falling pregnant with charley, we only had sex about once a month. As soon as I got into tri 3 though we were at it all the time, I suddenly got my sex drive back and now I've given birth I can't wait for the bleeding to stop but ive got a feeling once it has, I'll lose intrest again!

 

[leanne1b]

Thanks you two, does feel better knowing I'm not the only one.
I just feel so out of it? An really sorry for him... like in the last 18 months it's prob been about 15 times altogether... max. Just such a shite gf.
x

 

[xshauna_bazx]

OH will understand dont think your a shite gf hun...he is with you xxx

 

[amyjayne77]

I am the same. I feel I'm always turning him down or pushing him away. He thinks I don't want him any more which isn't true, I just don't want sex. Hope I'm not like this forever!

 

[leanne1b]

Tell me about it.! It sucks! And even if I ever was vaguely considering it... why would I be doing that when I could be catching up on some sleep!
x

 

[Jones]

ha ha same here 21 weeks pregnant and not feeling intimate..............1st trimester i was overly interested! hope it comes back argh!!!!!!

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Im sure it will pass eventually hun, good luck xxx

 

[misscrazycooki]

I know how you feel I am totally the same even now I have no interest in it what so ever but in my case I have a few other reasons I guess not just my OH or pregnancy lol

I'm bi so since I got pregnant have only wanted women lol but I know I can't have any or do anything because I am with my OH who I love very much x

 

[leanne1b]

lol well at least ur reason kind of makes sense!
x

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

I'm like that too I wanted all the gym when I was pregnant with Amy but now I just dont oh not too bothered but ATM he does have A high sex drive lol some times I give in and force myself to do it lol to keephim happy you not a loan there xx

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

Tym not gym lol using I phone lol

 

[Marianne]

I'm like this too but my bf says he's understanding but has told me he wont live in a sexless relationship. I said is that what makes a relationship work ? and he said it's part of it. He's got a very very high sex drive and I dont anymore, I find him very attractive n dont understand why I dont want to anymore :-s and i'm terrified he's going to go elsewhere, I mean he's 28 yrs old and at college. A lot of women find him attractive, not just his looks but it's his cheekyness and things they like, it's what attracted me. I'm paranoid all the time that he's found someone else/or will find someone else and we argue alot bcos of my paranoia. I'm stuck ....

 

[leanne1b]

Wow Marianne. I so understand you. I don't even know what to say because I'm the same

 

[Marianne]

it's such a horrible feeling, feeling that your partner is going to go elsewhere, especially when you are pregnant !!

 

[leanne1b]

I'm not anymore! My little one is 14 weeks now.
We did the deed the other day. First time in ... 5 months? Thought doing it would kick start the whole thing again. But it didn't. Was good at the time. But now it's kind of like, oh ok now I don't have to for a few months. And that's wrong isn't it?
I'm just so insecure... Deep down, I don't, think he'd cheat on me. But even deeper down, I think he would.
An I know it bugs him, but I just can't trust him. Or anyone really. I've been lied to my whole life. Y should I trust anyone?
Does that make sense?
X

 

[Marianne]

yeah it does to me, but maybe i'm just as insecure and paranoid as you lol !!

My boyfriend hates it too, but the way we met is an ochward situation to say the least (not going into detail)

So the way we met doesnt help "trust" wise.

He keeps saying he isnt interested in anyone else, he thinks its okay to look at other girls (even when i'm with him) but as long as its just looking he doesnt think there should be a problem, "its human nature" he says.

Personally I dont feel it is human nature, if you are happy with who you are with and only have eyes for her/him then why do you need to look at every girl who walks by or every cleavage or bum that strides past you ???

I dont get it. He thinks i look at other men, but thats the thing, i dont. I look about me when i'm walkign around but i dont actually look at a guy on purpose. He doesnt understand that if i could, i would walk about with my eyes locked on him constantly cos he's the only one i want to look at. lol it's crazy huh? xx