Advice needed please...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by jld123, Dec 13, 2011.

  1. jld123

    jld123 Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls,

    I really need some advice.

    Basically, since our baby was about 3 months old, I have completely lost my sex drive, i find myself making any excuse not to have sex and i hate myself for it. Its not just that though, i am absolutely horrible to my boyfriend. Everything he does winds me up and i make sure that he knows about it. Little things like leaving the milk out i will have a go at him about even though i know i do these things myself! i literally cant stop myself. Living with me at the moment must be hell for him, I just dont know how to make things right. To be honest i dont even know why he is with me, I moan and bitch all the time am always tired and never want sex. I just dont get it. is there anything doctors can do to boost my sex drive? I went to the docs to mention that i have a short fuse with him and that i do still love him etc but they did blood tests and said everything was fine. I dont know what to do to chill out and get my life back on track and be the loving gf i used to be. I excercise daily and thought this would help but it hasnt. Please any advice would be great. thanks x:wall2:
     
  2. meggymum

    meggymum Well-Known Member

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    hun, you have a new baby in the house. this changes everything! your hormones are probably still a bit up in the air, and you have to adjust to life with a baby around, so dont be so hard on yourself. maybe you could get a babysitter and go out just the two of you for a couple of hours. doesnt have to cost a lot, just be in each others company without the baby around, and you never know what might happen!

    also are you getting enough 'me' time? you have to be happy within yourself before you can be good to other people, and this starts with regen-ing those batteries. when LO is asleep, grab a good book and have a hot bubble bath, or watch your fave movie, or do your nails. anything that makes you feel like you again. you have to make sure that being a mum is just another hat you wear, and not taking over who you are.

    i hope this helps, and hang in there. if he loves you, he will realise that you dont mean it and will try and help you through.

    big hugs xx
     
  3. jld123

    jld123 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks. But i am having a lot of me time, ive just finished one book and onto another (that im reading on the kindle HE bought me :( im so mean!) ive painted my nails and just had a bath, baby is napping and boyfriend is at uni. (he drives 3 hours every day to get to and from uni)

    i honestly feel like i dont deserve him. we do manage to do somethings just us. not often but we do manage to, however when we get a babysitter most the time it is so he can go see his friends and i can see mine, i suppose we could do more together just us. as it has become all too easy to stay in with a film.
     
  4. pregpixie76

    pregpixie76 Well-Known Member

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    u could have post natal depression anger aggression low self esteem feeling undeserving can be symptoms maybe go see your health visitor who should have a depression scoring sheet that u can fill in and take things from there.be honest with your partner about not feeling like sex its pretty common to go off it after a baby and or when depressed.im sure if u are honest ( without blaming him ) about how u are feeling he will be understanding
     
  5. angelmma

    angelmma Well-Known Member

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    Was actually gonna say the same thing. After DD I would be a grumpy so and so and I couldnt stop myself and was really short fused, turned out I had post natal depression. They gave me mild anti depressants and within a month of taking them I was feeling so much more like my old self. Go see your GP and they can assess you, its common after having a baby, and nothing to be ashamed about xxx
     
  6. jld123

    jld123 Well-Known Member

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    thanks, ive just called up and booked an appointment. In all honesty, i do hope it is post natal depression so that i would have a reason for being this way. I really want to get things back on track with my boyfriend as i love him so much and he puts up with such shit from me!

    Thanks ladies! x
     
  7. pregpixie76

    pregpixie76 Well-Known Member

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    im glad u booked an app to go see about this.i dont know if u watch the food hospital but its on the chanel4 website and there is an episode where they use food to help depression.could be worth a go and ps ignore the words chemical imbalance its a myth made up by the pharma industry to sell anti-d's although they can be a life saver!
     

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