I need help. BF having a wobble.

[newbie1984]

Ok I'll get straight into it. I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant, not planned, and have only been with my boyfriend for about 4 months, although known him a lot longer. Found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, told him and he was shocked but happy. We told both our families who were happy for us and well everything was going rosy. Last night he had a wobble and I'm not sure he wants to go ahead with this. He is worried about finances and how he will look after a baby. We aren't kids we are both 28 so I'd like to think fairly adult.

I want to have this baby. What do I do??! I feel so awful I'm petrified that he wants me to have a termination which I do not want to do. Just feel like curling up and having a good cry.

 

[Doob]

oh hun really sorry to hear this. Perhaps have a sit down and ask him to tell you honestly how he feels and then do the same. You'll only be able to talk things through if you both explicitly know how the other feels. I sincerely hope things are just down to being scared/shocked. Sending

 

[inky]

I think it's fairly normal for the men to get cold feet at some point, but hopefully he's not thinking the unthinkable. And even if he is, it's your body, your baby, he will have to work around you. I bet he's just having a wobble like you say though, give him a few days and hopefully he will be ok.

 

[Tara1985]

I agree with the others, men often have a 'moment' even when baby is planned. I think they are just daunted. I can guarantee once he hears the heartbeat at your 12 week scan and see your lil baby he will fall in love.

My OH spoke to me about his worries for us with money too at the very beginning but at the scan he was more excited than I was and hasn't spoke about money again. He just got more lecturing hours

Good luck hon, sure it will work itself out.

xx

 

[Lolly85x]

Hi, I definetley agree that your bf might just be having a moment. And even I he doesn't come round, you don't need to have a termination if it's not what you want. So don't let him pressure you into that. It's daunting for anyone to have a baby, and must be hard for guys cause they don't go through what we do. There just watching. But once you have had your 12week scan, and it all becomes oh so more real, you can start planning things. Iv loved to see how involved my bf got with things. Picking the decoration scheme for the nursery, researching monitors and prams, and when we go into town he has chosen lots of wee outfits and we've bought them, our baby wasn't planned, but I think it just takes a bit longer to sink in chin up x

 

[Flips4]

Our pregnancy was planned and I am the one having the odd wobble, I obviously want this baby very much but still have lots of doubts and fears, I'm sure my OH probably has too but he's so busy reassuring me he doesn't have time to think about them too much lol, like everyone else says just talk

Congratulations by the way

xxx

 

[Gayle30]

My OH said the exact same to me the night we found out. However, he's since come round and is as excited as me. Men don't feel the same as us women as they don't have the surge of hormones. I was prepared to go it alone if mine decided he couldn't but thankfully he was just having a 'moment' too. Pretty sure once u have your 1st scan and u start to notice baby everything will be fine. Just be honest and lay your cards out. I backed off my oh and within 24 hours he was apologising and so upset that he had even considered not wanting our child. But never let anyone force you. It's your body, your choice. Good luck xxx

 

[Lynds77]

I think its completely natural! i keep having wobbles too, I keep thinking "shit, I dont even know if I want kids!" and i am married and this baby was planned! My husband has never had such a wobble, but he does worry about money etc when I am on maternity pay which is rubbish.

If I had only been with hubby for 4mnths, i think my wobbles would be more frequent. Maybe dont make a huge issue about it, or worry too much about it until you think that he is actually putting his trainers on ready to make a run for it!!!

maybe a gentle off the cuff chat is all that is in order. Good luck! x

 

[newbie1984]

So we had a good chat, I had a good cry, he still doesn't feel we are ready but said he doesn't not want it but just can't really see the good right now. I'm hoping it will change once we have the scan. He is talking about things more now and last night when I asked him how he was feeling he said he is sure we will be fine and just to take the problems as they can rather than worry about what ifs.

On another note I watched OBEM yesterday and freaked myself! I have a feeling it's my turn next lol

 

[Gayle30]

That's what we did Hun. And honestly it took days for him to come round. I found the less I mentioned it the ore he wanted to know. I'm sure it will be fine. Wishing you luck. Xx