I lost my baby on the 19th. im so down. :'(

[Elle'sMumy]

I posted this a few days ago in the TTC section because i was too scared to come into this section.
Hey girls, im so sorry to be back here my heart is torn in two.
i didnt think i would be able to sit here and write my story but i think im finally cried out. i started with pink discharge and was a little worried. didnt think too much as it may have just been late implantation bleeding. i had taken 3 BFPs that day so was a little reasured. later on i had a big cramp and started bleeding all down my leg i shouted OH and he came running and sees all the blood we rushed into a&e sat for 5 whole hours and got taken in pale and shakey. After my long wait they put me on morphine and IV took my blood and give me a scan. bloodwork came back bad- my Hcg levels had dropped down to 10.5 the scan saw nothing no heartbeat so labeled it as miscarriage. i have follow up appointments and more bloodwork to be done. really hurting and in shock. i need to rest for a few weeks and hope to be TTC again as soon as im ready. OH put away the few little bargains i had picked up for baby last week and hid the pg books i had bought. the hardest part is that i still have my morning sicknes and bump its so hard to not cry all day bacause of all the happiness and joy of last week. im so glad i have OH to help me through this tough time. We was over his parents house today i look awful wiht big puffy black eyes and pale face. they had me with my feet up all day and took LO out to play, they were amazing. hope you all are well and good luck TTC sorry for the long post all my love Jessx

I will miss you my sweet little angel.

Now its been 5days and i still dont know what to do with myself. i look so pale and weak i just want to feel normal. my emotions are all over the place one second im feeling ok, then the next im so down i just want to curl up into a ball and never wake up. i know OH is trying to snap me out of it, but i wake up every morning just to know that my babys gone and im no longer pregnant. i just dont know what to do or think will this get easier for me ? Now my bump has gone and i no longer get sick. that ,makes me so sad. im bleeding heavy and feel so drained from it. i never thought i could feel this much hurt. i cant even bear to make the appointment with the doctor. why did this happen to me??

 

[reallyoldmum]

Its still early days yet honey, be gentle with yourself

 

[cinnamon81]

Just wanted to say take your time and grieve, it hurts so much to lose a baby, I've been there and was off work for a month to come to terms with the loss.

Even though you only carried your little one for a short time, you spend the time your pregnant looking ahead, thinking about how your baby will grow and what they will be like when they're here, I think what I'm trying to say is that you see your pregnancy as the child it will become and you being his/her mummy far into the future. So the loss really hurts as it topples all these thoughts and hopes and dreams you had built up.

So please acknowledge all these feelings you have and share them with your OH. You will always remember this little one, but the pain and numbness does get easier

 

[Maya]

 

[tracey 2]

so sorry hun but please look after yourself

like ROM said its still early days and just be gentle on yourself, grief affects us all in different ways but please dont keep it to yourself let it out as much as you can xx

 

[Petra]

Hi Jess, i am so sorry for your loss. Give yoursself enough time to grieve. I am sure you will feel better soon. I have bled for over a week after my m/c, I was also very pale and weak. Make sure you take lots of iron and multivitamins. I am here if you need to talk hun

 

[sarah113]

Im so sorry for your loss hun

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i am so sorry hun

 

[babydust]

just wanted to give you these
i am going through the same just now, so i know exactly what you are going through, i hate getting up in the morning and getting dressed is the worst as i have no bump left just a saggy belly now but like everyone says it is early days and you will be hormonal just now as well which will be adding to your feeling, i have also been through this a few times before so i can tell you it will get a bit easier

 

[trixipaws]

im sorry for your loss

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

 

[Lianatoot]

I had a M/C 3 weeks ago..well my D&C anyway, and I am still finding things tough...im finding it hard just to get on with everyday life...I mean I am getting on with things...but its an effort.

I am so sorry for your loss and completly understand, your loss is very raw, just allow yourself time to grieve,