I feel so low :(

[Eveadel]

I feel really silly for posting this as i know some people arent as fortunate as me being pregnant.

I feel very low at the moment so I am not enjoying my pregnancy.

I have been involved with horses for many many years and when I found out I was pregnant I had a horse and always said that I would not ride as you never know what could happen. Well my horsey was quite an athletic boy and I felt it was unfair to keep him just to be turned out in a field everyday. Anyway I sold him nearly a month ago and since then I have felt like my left arm has been cut off and feel abit resentful about the pregnancy as it has been such a big part of my life - horses.

I feel like my body is being taken over as I have always been a petite slim person and now I feel like a wobby jelly belly with uncontrollable hormones. I am literally up and down with my moods and my poor husband now comes in from work and asks ' do you like me today'.

I have my 20 week scan in one weeks time 13/03 and I hope that everythihng is ok and I am abit excited to find out the sex.

How can I feel more positive with my pregnancy?

I desperately want to buy another horse already but am worried I will be super duper tiried in 3rd trimester and very busy with a new baby???

 

[Anna Marie]

Hi Eveadel,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low.. and also very very sorry you had to sell your horse.. I can understand why you are feeling resentful.. but why did you need to sell him? Surely you will be riding again after your little one is born? I am not a horse-rider but I have a very energetic dog that takes up so much of my time and I cannot imagine getting rid of her even though I know for a while she will not be able to have the walks and attention she is used to but hopefully she will get used to the new addition to our family.

As for buying another horse..I wouldn't rush into that if I were you.. it would be a decision made based on emotion.. because you are missing your horse so much... wait until after baby is born and then you can actually see how much time you have and whether or not you still feel the same way...

I can see why it has upset you.. a major part of your life has been taken away and you probably not really able to feel your little bump move or kick yet so not very attached to it.. I feel the same.. I have not had to give up anything so precious but I am also not really enjoying pregnancy at all.. I think much of it for me is the anxiety I feel due to my history of miscarriages [I have had 3] so every day I am convinced something is going to go wrong this time too.

I also feel rather unattractive.. not really showing with a bump but I feel fat and frumpy.. I was a keen jogger but had to give up when got my BFP [doctors orders] so I put on weight really quickly which made me feel even more depressed! Our bodies change so rapidly and we have NO control over it.. very frustrating.

Don't feel silly.. pregnancy is a very weird time, all our hormones make us very emotional and sometimes [in my case definitely] irrational about things.. my OH also risks life and limb living with me at the moment and I know I am not being very nice to him but I think he is beginning to understand.

I am sure you will start to feel more positive... if not before definitely at your 20 week scan.. I am told it is an amazing scan - you can see so much and your bean will now look like a real baby.. that will make you feel really excited...

Don't put pressure on yourself to feel happy if you don't.. take each day as it comes. How about pampering yourself? buy yourself a treat or take OH out for a nice dinner or something to remind you both of life before pregnancy took over!!

take care xxx

 

[Eveadel]

Thank you for your kind words Anna Marie.

I have just spoken to my mum and dont feel any better and nearly started crying speaking to our electrician who is here doing some work at the mo.

I had to sell my horse as it was not fair on him to be stabled during the night and put straight out in the field everyday without having exercise which would be at least 10 months. He was very special to me and he has gone to a fabulous 5& home but it doesnt make me feel any better doing the right thing by him

I think you are right Im feeling very emotional at the moment and it would not be a good idea to go and get another at the moment. Although I want to get a foal which cannot be ridden for another 2 1/2 years.

I am not feeling any movements at the mo so it doesnt feel real. Im hoping when I do it will make me feel alot better.

As I said before I feel horrible moaning as you know one of the girls is having a rough time and you worrying as you having 3 mc's so this time is extra precious to you.

Nicki
Eveadel

 

[Anna Marie]

You are allowed to moan.. we all have our anxieties.. whatever the reasons or history.. like I said we cannot completely control the way we feel at the moment... we just have to go with it and hope that others and our OH's support and help us through!

Buying a foal would be wonderful.. but would it need lots of attention - would it be stabled close to you? If you think you could manage then go for it.. I have no clue about caring for horses - just dogs and cats!!

Your scan is so close.. I am sure you will feel so much better after that.. I am relying on that as being a major milestone for me so hopefully I will start to feel happy and start to bloom too!!

xx

 

[kellysomer]

From one horse lover to another, cheer up hunnie, i have PMed you.

I know just how you feel...

 

[Imi-Maddie's-Mum]

If it's any consolation i am an avid snowboarder .... and i was (at the begining of the season)FUMING!!!

This time of year i would be in scotland most weekends, and have 3 boarding holidays ... and i feel pretty much the same as you right now ...

But im looking on the brightside of things ... it's something i can teach little bean to do next year and the hubby!!!

Chin up hun ...

Love imi+Bean

 

[lauramumof2]

Hi,
I was sad to read your post. I think you definately were right to let your horse go to another home. If you had kept him you would have felt worse because you wouldnt be able to ride him and after the birth, well you just dont know how you will feel. Im sure that he will be just fine and will be giving someone else a lot of pleasure. Dont rush into getting another horsy, you would be trying to replace a feeling inside you that you associate with the first horse. I think you are just feeling a bit resentful early, lots of ladies feel like this after birth when they realise there are things they cant do anymore, you have just came face to face with this early.
Think of the fun you and baby will have and when he/she is a few months then maybe you could get another horse.
As for dh, just tell him to assume you dont like him, the when you do its a bonus for him.
And as for the jelly tummy, enjoy! Its the one time im proud to be round. I actually weighed myself the other day and was pleased to have gained 7 lbs. The folk at the scales thought I was bonkers.