I dont know what to do

[violet-glow]

Over the months that I was pregnant my son has been having horrible screaming fits. We've tried the whole putting him in the naughty corner along with many other things e.g taking his toys away etc.

Now Eloras born hes become worse. I feel I cant cope. I dont know what to do anymore. Its gotten so bad tonight that I rang my mum in tears asking her to take him away. My son is only 3 and I know most of you will say hes just at that age, but ive been around kids his age and hes far from normal. When hes having a screaming fit he will sit /stand in his room and shout that im hitting him and hurting him... even though I am not in the same room as him. Ive got to stress that nomatter how far my son pushes me theres NOWAY on earth I would ever hit or hurt my child. So this kills me. The neighbours must think im hurting him. It scares me that something so small can trigger him off. Im scared for my daughters safety that I had to buy a safety gate to put on my bedroom door so he doesnt come in, in the middle of the night. Ive woken up beofre with my sons head in the mosses basket. I dont know what to do. I cant stop crying.

Sorry if im not making sense, I should have written this when id carmed down and stopped crying. My OHs at work so I cant talk to him, I just feel so useless. Ive tried with my son I really have.

 

[Daggers]

Oh dear Violet! I don't know what advise to give you as I've never been in that situation. My only suggested would be to see if your GP could recommend a councillor of some sort???? Maybe it might help for both you and your son to look into what is causeing these fits? Or what about spending 1 day a week/fornight with him so he still feels that he has some 1 on 1 mommy time???
Whatever you choose I hope you manage to resolve this before i gets the better of you. Also I hope someone else on the forum might be able to offer you some more suitable suggestions.

 

[violet-glow]

Ive got the doctors tomorrow morning. I missed my 6 week check ..completely forgot about it.

The thing is I dont want to tell the doctor all thats wrong because ill just end up braking down in the doctors office.

I had postnatal depression when my son was born and nothing was done about it. I was meant to see a counselor, but nothing was done and I was forgotten about.

I dont feel like I did when my son was born. I had proplems bonding with my sona nd it took me about a year and a half to properly bond with him. I dont feel like that towards my daughter. I love her more than anything and enjoy spending time with her. I am so scared that if I say anything to the doctor that hes going to think I have postnatal depression.

 

[Dee1985]

hun im sorry it must be so hard Dior keeps pushing me so far its such Hard work she wont eat nothing will make her eat so tonight i tryed just strapping her down in her chair till she ate. she through her plate at HARLEY smashed him on the head i wanted to scram i just couldnt take it anymore!!!!

My little brtoher was very very jelous of Dior he is very spoilt and was 3 when she was born. he came up to me with a toy knife and told me he wanted to kill her.
he asked me if i would drop her on her head cause it would be funny. he used to put his hand over her face!!!!

all this when she was newborn and a prem tiny tiny baby. i was so scared i loved him of course but he freaked me out!

i hope it gets sorted for you i dont no what to say

your doing great alot of mums just slap their child when they cant cope so hold your head hight that you have done so well and stayed in control xxx

 

[Daggers]

Violet, I think it's better you talk to someone that can help you rather than say nothing at all. Maybe if you break down at the doctors then he'll realise that you may need help rather than not doing anything at all and having reach it's climax of you breaking down.
Also have you try any other forums or searching on ther internet for help re childerns tantrums? Not sure if someone like 'Super nanny' has a website with helpful tips?

 

[Rosebay]

Hi,

so sorry you're having these problems, the fact that it upsets you shows that you're obviously a great mum and really care about your kids. If you don't want to talk to your GP how about a health visitor or can you still contact your midwife? I'm sure you're not the first second time mum to be having these problems. Is there someway that you can give your son some protected time with just the two of you everyday- even if it's just 15 mins or something- especially if it's something that he really likes doing with you? I don't really know what else to suggest not having another child myself yet but I'm sure there are lots of things you can try. If your GP is the only one who can help then maybe you could say what you said to us about knowing what post-natal depression is but that this is something different you feel- they should respect your self-knowledge.

Good luck hun
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