I could cry

[Little Bump]

I just feel so sad I think I've overdone it and I'm tired and overemotional and I just want to cry.

I have my little brother and sister staying. They arrived before dinner yesterday and are stopping over until monday as my parents are away. I can't seem to amuse them. If I set one of them doing something then the other something the first will kick up a fuss as they want to do that-but they're so competetive they refuse to do the same thing, even individually I had them taking turns on the computer, I'd do something with one of them whilst the other had their turn, then they'd swap after a set amount of time, only the one on the computer would come and say they didn't want to be on the computer, so I'd suggest the other had their turn whilst the first one did something with me and they'd go running back to it...but they won't do anything with me TOGETHER and after a couple of minutes one will storm off sulking. They're really taking the p*** with bedtimes (they're still awake but at least I've managed to contain them to their room) and meals...I ended up making three seperate dinner's for one of them as they wanted pasta. I make pasta, they don't want it, they want scrambled egg on toast. I make it, they begin eating it, I ask if it's ok, 'It's lovely' two minutes later they don't like it they want something else.

The eldest (8) stood in my lounge where I was sat next to my OH and says "Is (OH) going to be here tomorrow?" when I said we didn't know his plans yet he turned around and said "I hope not as he's useless" Outside a little while later after repeatedly throwing water at my OH despite being told not to he turned round and told him he's grumpy he then threw an almighty strop when I said that Mum said that their treat money was only to given to them if they listened and behaved themselves, and if he didn't listen then he wouldn't be getting it.

When they came a few weeks ago they spent the entire weekend moaning that my house was boring, I'm boring, I can't walk very far and they wish they hadn't come etc etc then threw major paddys when mum phoned to say that she was on her way to collect them on the sunday evening

I probably look like a right cow for ranting on about children, and these things probably seem really trivial but I'm so tired, I got about 5 hours last night, I haven't managed to sit down for more than 5 minutes continuously since they arrived as they want amusing constantly. I can't seem to please them both, if I manage to get one reasonably occupied the other throws a wobbly as they're just so competetive, and really spiteful towards each other, right down to digging holes in the garden earlier (making mini-ponds, don't ask!) and they were ruining each others. Now it's bedtime, actually well past bedtime, they're the best of friends of course and giggling away.

Yet of course when they're collected monday I'll be all smiles and 'yes they were lovely' as I just can't bring myself to dob on the children, lol.

And to top it off my mother, who was always tee-total up until moving house a few weeks ago when she began having the odd glass of wine with her new friends, phoned, and I said as a joke as she's away with these friends she drinks with "Are you drunk yet" as it was a running joke all week between her and dad that a weekend away without kids and she was going to get plastered, and she said yes and was laughing etc then suddenly the phone went dead.

I phoned back thinking her signal had come or something and my dad answered having a right go at me for upsetting her (???) and had me in tears.


I give up.

 

[nickilubs]

It sounds like hard work!

All I can think of is to take them to a park tomorrow and let them run themselfs tired take a picnic (saves cooking again) whilst you sit and read for a while try and relax. Hopefully they can do it without arguing maybe say you will take them for chips or a treat for tea after as long as they behave themselves and play nice or buy them a football and a skipping rope so that they have something to do using their treat money so you dont lose out..

Also if they have been running about they should be so tired by the evening that they actually want to sleep! They are probably just excited to be round yours because its different than being at home

Hope its a better day tomorrow. xx

 

[Ally1979]

IM sorry but they are being total brats and walking all over you. (teacher ally speaking here lol) If they dont like the tea, tough they go hungry! If they are bored, tough! You sound like you have bent over backwards to amuse them and they are treating you like dirt hun.
You need to put your foot down and be firm with them. Dont say they were fine when they are collected otherwise they will cotton onto the fact that they can get away with murder with you and will continue to act up when they stay with you. Let them strop, it wont kill them!! Wake up in the morning with your grrrrrr head on and stick to every decision you make with your other half to back you up.

 

[Steelgoddess]

You poor love im not surprised you are stressed you sound at the end of your teather!!!

What about doing an activity that involves all of you, insist everyone participates and if one doesn't like it then don't even bat an eyelid if they walk off, sulk or have a whinge, whilst doing the activity encourage them both, if one wins and the other sulks suggest another game with the posibility of them winning.

What about going to the pictures if you're up to it if they say no to everything, then say ok thats no problem we won't do anything and just let them be bored.

Maybe ask what they fancy for their tea tomorrow, something they both enjoy and if you make it and they don't eat it then thats just too bad, don't give in or feel guilty...

 

[Steelgoddess]

IM sorry but they are being total brats and walking all over you. (teacher ally speaking here lol) If they dont like the tea, tough they go hungry! If they are bored, tough! You sound like you have bent over backwards to amuse them and they are treating you like dirt hun.
You need to put your foot down and be firm with them. Dont say they were fine when they are collected otherwise they will cotton onto the fact that they can get away with murder with you and will continue to act up when they stay with you. Let them strop, it wont kill them!! Wake up in the morning with your grrrrrr head on and stick to every decision you make with your other half to back you up.

Yeah and what Alley says too!

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Goodness me I have an 8 year old and if he ever spoke or behaved like that for someone looking after him he would be in BIG trouble!!

I would be sitting those two down tomorrow and having strict words, its your house your rules and they follow it. It sounds like they are being disrespectful to you and Oh as they think they can get away with it, yes they are kids but kids are very clever and at their age know what they are doing.

As nicky says getting them out and tiring them would be good too.

Hope it gets better, be strong!!

 

[Little Bump]

Thanks everyone

I think they're asleep now, they're wuiet anyway and to be honest I don't care now it doesn't sound like a herd of elephants on speed are running around my room.

I got tough. I gave them a watch, told them exactly what time I wanted them settled by, giving them a few minutes so that they could time themselves, and maybe feel a little more grown up, and I'd be back to check. They weren't settled so I brought the TV down with me-they weren't meant to have it on after a certain time but had turned it down quiet thinking they'd got one over on me.

I've just been told that my OH's a liar!! They woke up before 7am this morning, they're sleeping in our room as the only other habitable bedroom is the babys. We're sleeping downstairs. They woke up and OH said they had to stay upstairs as I was still asleep (I was awake at 3am still) he took them a drink and a bowl of cereal each and took the TV up so they weren't bored. I woke up about 7.20am but he said to have a quiet coffee before letting them know I was up. So about half past I went and said good morning, and they were telling me my OH's mean and a liar and blah blah.

I said I was going to phone mum and tell her to come and collect them and they quickly settled...I don't like doing that sort of thing but seriously, I'm sure my BP must be through the roof.

I feel awful as I know they can be great kids, but I don't seem to be handling them well at all. I've always been able to before. Now I'm worrying how I'll handle my own. Mum said providing they're in a safe enviroment and reasonably supervised, ie you're in the house and check them every now and then, or they're outside and I'm either doing my own thing out there or can see them out the window they're more than capable of amusing themselves. But it was so bad this afternoon I'd just sat down on the loo and there was banging on the door and 'saaaaaaaaam....he/she's doing this/won't let me do that..'

I ended up concocting a game of hide and seek and HID in the horses stable with a cup of tea and cried this afternoon....I don't know what's going on....I'm normally great at this sort of thing but all I can think is that this will be my life with my own child for the next 18 years, they'll find me boring and be rude to me etc....

 

[nickilubs]

Your own child will be in your environment. In your house with all their toys and comforts around them, every kid gets bored and I know if my parents told me to spend a weekend with my sister even now I would be bored stupid I'm 21! Surely you remember the "muuuuuuuuuum Im bored" stages in the summer holidays its something we all do. Its even worse when you are at someone elses house because they will rely on you to entertain them rather than finding their own thing.

The worst thing you can do though is to say "no you misbehaved so we are going to sit in all day and do nothing" because they will be full of energy and the only real tiredness they will get is the stroppy over tired thing which is not any use to you and will make them play up more. They need to go out and run around and burn off energy so they get properly tired. Take them for a long walk or something make sure they burn off the energy

This has no reflection of how you will be with your babe its hard to tell off other peoples children even when Its your own brother and sister they probably don't see you as having the authority they fight with each other because they are brother and sister and you are their sister so to them you are the same as each other telling each other what to do if you get me! LOL.

I would try and get some sleep though especially if they like getting up at 7am!

 

[dannii87]

It sounds like hard work!

All I can think of is to take them to a park tomorrow and let them run themselfs tired take a picnic (saves cooking again) whilst you sit and read for a while try and relax. Hopefully they can do it without arguing maybe say you will take them for chips or a treat for tea after as long as they behave themselves and play nice or buy them a football and a skipping rope so that they have something to do using their treat money so you dont lose out..

Also if they have been running about they should be so tired by the evening that they actually want to sleep! They are probably just excited to be round yours because its different than being at home

Hope its a better day tomorrow. xx

I agree You poor thing!! I think I'd have snapped by now, they are really testing your patience aren't they!

Like Nicki said, they're probably so excitable because they're away from their Mum and staying at yours...

I don't know what to suggest, but I hope tomorrow is a lot better for you all xxx