I am suddenly petrified of labour! :-S

[debecca]

Now obviously I want to start labour because then my little girl will be here soon which is ace

BUT after being Bloom's text buddy while she went through labour I'm really scared. It was so obvious just from her texts how much pain she was in and I am a COMPLETE WUSS when it comes to pain of any kind.

Now my birth plan is just "deal with it as it happens, I'll cope" but my husband just keeps saying how difficult I'm going to find it because I'm crap with pain and how I'll never cope

So I'm now really scared. I lay awake last night in bed worrying!!! And yet I really DO want to go through it so I can have my baby in my arms!!

 

[muppetmummy]

When it happens you'll instinctively know what to do and your body will get you through it.
It's really hard to explain what labour is like, and afterwards I'm sure the brain blocks out the bad bits.
It's a different kind of pain from breaking your leg, and at least you'll know why it's happening and that it will eventually stop and you'll have your daughter.

I can't wait for it to start now, I'm so fed up with having feet too swollen to wear shoes, and feeling like I'm sat on a spike when I walk, I just want it over and done with!

 

[Sherlock]

I like to think some primeval instinct kicks in for us and we cope.

Yes the pain is a concern, but you might surprise yourself in how well you cope. Keep focused on the end result

My mental preparation has been pretty full on. Having seen/read about how women find it harder and more painful when they resist and fight the contractions and focus on the pain of them, I'm going with the working with them and breathing through them and hopefully won't make the pain aspect what I focus on.

Mind over matter and I am a great believer in it for things like this. If you know what is causing your pain its easier to rationalise and deal with it I feel.

Also remember, keeping mobile and upright for as long as possible will help gravity and should make things easier. Lying down with put pressure on things and is meant to not be as effective.

 

[fifi211]

I completely sympathise with you, 2 weeks ago I was terrified knowing that I would definitely be in labour by the weekend and I'd done it before. I literally had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the hospital

BUT.......

I can honestly say that I had a fab experience, when I had Jamie I had an epidural straight away because I thought I couldn't cope and I ended up having a bad experience. This time I did just deal with it as it happened and managed all the way through with just gas and air until the last hour when I had diamorphine. I'm not saying it wasn't painful but it was manageable and I had built it up to be so much worse in my head.

My advice would be, stay calm, take it one step at a time (there are plenty of pain relief options), and move around as much as you can (this really helped me, I only got on the bed at the end). You will surprise yourself I'm sure

Believe me I never thought I would be saying these things 2 weeks ago

 

[Charlie:-)]

I get a little scared at times as well.

All throughout my pregnancy I have been adamant I wanted a natural birth, no epidural because I think I have a high pain threshold. Now a girl at work who was 8 week in front of me was adamant she was having an epi and had no pain threshold. She's since given birth, managed at home on TENS machine & went to hospital where she was found to be 8cm's = natural birth.

Now I have this little part of me thinking maybe Im not going to be able to cope, maybe my friend does indeed have a high pain threshold and maybe I havent.

I deal with this by telling myself that thousands of women have been/go through this experience with nothing, not even gas & air. Most of my friends didnt have an epi and even if I find I cant cope Im just going to focus on getting whatever medication I need and most importantly the end result, holding my baby.

I think its natural to be anxious about giving birth

 

[jools02]

Like the others have said its only natural to feel like this. But its what we are designed to do. I consider myself to be the biggest wimp when it comes to pain - I mean I'm a total and utter wimp! But I got through my last labour which was back to back on absolutely no pain relief - they didn't even have gas and air (it was in Germany and they don't do entonox there) The epi only started working in the last 30 seconds or so after the head was out! I still don't know how I did it but somehow you find the strength from somewhere and you just cope.

 

[kazlin]

Hi debecca, oh hun, I went through phases like this

Now I want you to take note (I'm being bossy I know ) of what I am going to post.

I am absolute rubbish with pain and turn into a complete baby, I have always been like this.
A lot of what you are feeling, I think is dealing with the unknown...you don't know what it will feel like, how you will cope etc. Most of us at times can be pretty scared of experiences that we haven't been through. It's called human nature.

Right as I was saying I was having a few panic episodes a couple of weeks prior to having Dan. When I started bleeding on the Sunday it was like all the fear went out of the window, because I was actually living the experience.

Now for the pain, with me it started off as really subtle period type pains which became more painful, but for the majority of the time they weren't too bad and I (yes me!!!) could cope with them.
I dilated very quickly which doesn't usually happen, so my pain shot up quickly big time and I hardly had any pain relief. I was crying out in the end, only because of the quickness of the dilation...but you know what? I would relive (apart from Daniels complications) the labour all over again to have him. I would also have no hesitations about having another baby...thinking about it for next year

You WILL be fine and you have the support of your family, friends and us 'orrible lot on here.

Huge to you and remember women have been giving birth since the year dot!

 

[debecca]

Aw Kaz what a lovely post! Thank you for taking the time out to post and help me.

Thank you to the rest of you too. I am going to endeavour to remain calm and deal with it as it occurs. I think because these BH have been quite painful I'm expecting the "real thing" to be 5903427590 times worse and that's perhaps ridiculous.

Ho hum. Let's hope I do OK and don't embarrass myself too much...

 

[Happybunny]

Poor you bexs, sorry you're feeling like this. I think it is completely normal to feel the way you do. I think everyone else has given really good advice. I think you will definately amaze yourself and cope much better than you think you will, especially when you know seeing little Connie is so close.
I hope you haven't got too mcuh longer to wait now.

 

[Emma58]

I felt like this last week I was terrified and i have done it before.
Now it's over with I honestly do not know why I was so scared. Yes, it hurts but it's weird how you don't care about the pain.

I promise you will be fine I am the biggest baby going

 

[Becky]

Ok, well first, forget about embarrassing yourself - whatever you do the midwives will have seen worse a million times before!

Besides that, you'll do whatever you have to do to get through it. Its so hard to explain but somehow you go into a little time warp where all you're dealing with is the right now. You deal with the current contraction and don't think of the next.

I laboured about 9 hours before I had to go for an emergency section. As part of the problems I had they needed me to lay down during contractions so they could get blood samples from baby. This sounds simple enough but laying down was the worst pain I have ever been through. When they asked me to lay down I nearly cried and asked if I had to - I didn't think I could cope, but I did.

Some people grunt and groan to cope, others (like me) go into a "zone" where there's nothing in your awareness except breathing through the pain, others have other coping methods.

Regardless, you are normal to worry, even though I've been through it before I'm still scared of giving birth.

But I know that when it comes to your child you can and will do anything for them.

 

[lulu]

Hi, I know how you are feeling. At the hospital today I suddenly had a flash back to labour and started remembering things and started to panic a little (sorry not very comforting)

Your body does just take over though and even though it is bloody hard work and painful, its also amazing and you feel so proud of yourself, and the feelings you get when baby has arrived and also when you think back to what you just did to bring him/her into the world!!!

You wont embaress yourself either because your mind will be elsewhere to even think about that. I pooed during labour but considering everything else that was going on I really wasn't bothered!!!

You will be fine!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I haven't been through it and my worries are the same as yours. My thoughts are it's pain with a purpose.

You'll be SO fine xxxx

 

[sarah2807]

Oh...I hope this feeling goes for you hun...
Others have given you some great advise-so I won't try to add to it cos I don't have any experience to base it on anyway.

Just wanted to give you some... cos you don't want your last couple of weeks to be full of worry!!!

I've surprised myself...as I am totally not bothered about the labour thing (and I always over worry about everything!!!!!)...I hope I stay this way but there's time yet!!!

 

[kalia]

Imagine holding Connie and not being pregnant. Dosn't that make it seem worth it?

It'll hurt, it'll be hard work, and you can do it.

 

[debecca]

Just wanted to give you some... cos you don't want your last couple of weeks to be full of worry!!!

Last COUPLE OF WEEKS?!?!?!

Now everyone thinks I'm going overdue

 

[debecca]

Thanks again for all the helpful advice on here. I've just received a lovely text from Bloom too (who is reading the forum and lurking so HELLO if you can see this!) who says her lovely (mini) daughter was totally worth the pain.

I think if I concentrate on Connie arriving it will be easier. I can't wait to meet her and hopefully I won't have to wait another couple of weeks

You lot are ace

 

[kazlin]

We can't wait to see her too

 

[Steelgoddess]

Hon i don't really have any advice as I too am bricking it a bit and im not too bad with pain normally... Hoever just wanted to wish yo all the very best
xx

 

[Ginnymarie]

hey

I just started sobbing last night out of fear and anxiety, along with frustration.

I like to think something will take over, i hope,,,,what will be will be...
i think we are strong ladies and we will be able to do it...like you my braxtons are very sore and that is what panics me but I have been told BH can be as sore as real ones.
x