Hubby tto tired to bd when I'm ovulating

[Lewa]

This is sooooo frustrating!
I've had EWCM for a few days, last night I got a positive OPK, tried to "seduce" hubby when going to bed, he was too tired. I tried to insist a little, he accused me for not knowing the meaning of no Tried again this morning, but he's just still in bed super tired. I got up, showered, put on make up, packed my bag, but he's still half asleep.
Argh!!!! I can even feel that my cervix is more open! I can never feel that!
We bd'd on Sunday afternoon last, and that's probably too long ago.
I haven't told him I'm ovulating, because I don't want him to see it as a "chore" but I just wish he would realise that when I try this hard there might be a reason for it... He has complained before that I don't initiate enough, so when I do there has to be a good reason for it, right??


Now I have to leave because I have a job interview, and when I go back he'll be at work, and later in the afternoon we're having a bunch of friends over because a friend of ours is moving, by the time they leave hubby will definitely be tired, and by then it might even be too late

I tried initiating on Monday as well, because I knew I would ovulate soon, but he was also too tired then.

Sigh.

 

[LD1978]

Ahh hun I dont really know what to say but my hubby is the same sometimes - either tired, too full after dinner etc etc. They dont realise there is only a small amount of time each month. Spermies live for 5 days though so Sunday still means your in there with a chance.

Cant you send him some dirty texts to get him in the mood and have a quickie before the friends come over? Whereabouts in Hampshire are you?x

 

[LouiseB]

Urgh that must be so frustrating for you

Men are never too tired for sex. Ever.

Never ever

So if they are using it as an excuse, it's a lie.

I'm wondering if your hubby is just playing hard to get because he wants you to totally take over, not just initiate but seduce.

If you are obviously initiating just enough to get the ball rolling you hubby is probably seeing right through it

Whatever the reason you need to talk to him because he is not too tired

Fingers crossed he hasn't messed up your chances

 

[Butterflykisses]

I agree - men are never ever too tired. My DH even after 10 hour nightshift is still up for it when he comes home. Just as well that's the case cos everytime I OV appears to be when he's on nights lol

Last time I told DH that if we were going to make baby this month then it was only going to happen within that few days. He willingly obliged. Maybe try explaining to your hubby the same thing - there is only short window when spermies meet eggies. Any other time during the month will be for fun

 

[jarjar81]

Hey hun...this sounds exactly like my OH...he has a real low sex drive so when OV comes up it can be like getting blood out of a stone!! This happens all month every month though so I know it isn't just an excuse to get out of BD...He tries to make the effort when he knows we need to but sometimes I know its a golden opportunity and we'll end up rowing cos he just dont get how important the timing is...he'll say 'can it wait til tomorrow?' and inside I'm screaming at him 'NO IT CANT!!!'...xxx

 

[Froslass]

Sometimes my OH really is too tired xxx He tends to say no...fall asleep...then wake up in the middle of the night and initiates it then xx Maybe he's feeling poorly? xx

 

[faithangle]

Hi hun,

My OH is just the same on one cycle he point blank refused every attempt I made to BD, I was so frustrated because it was leading up to my ovulation. On that particular week we did nothing and just like you I was screaming inside. He has aways had a low sex drive though, so when he complains he is too tired I only half believe at times. I've now been trying different stuff throuhout the month to see if I can seduce him. Winding him up throughout the day does have a great effect, so I agree with sending some dirty or flirty text messages to Hubby. However you know him better so just try playing all the cards on things you know he likes. Good luck xx

 

[Lewa]

Thank you all! It feels good to know someone out there understands my frustration! I really needed to let some steam out!

Ahh hun I dont really know what to say but my hubby is the same sometimes - either tired, too full after dinner etc etc. They dont realise there is only a small amount of time each month. Spermies live for 5 days though so Sunday still means your in there with a chance.

Cant you send him some dirty texts to get him in the mood and have a quickie before the friends come over? Whereabouts in Hampshire are you?x

Thanks! I know there's a chance, but I was just hoping that this time we could do it like every day during my most fertile period, since we have summer holidays and everything (he's still working, but at least he doesn't have uni as well) I would like to know I have a GOOD chance in stead of a SMALL chance. Even with a good chance it's still only about 20% chance it leads to pregnancy so yeah. Kind of sad.

I've never ever sent him a dirty text before actually... so don't know how that would be received. He'd probably like it, I'm guessing he'd also be rather confused! hmmm..

I'm in Portsmouth!

Urgh that must be so frustrating for you

Men are never too tired for sex. Ever.

Never ever

So if they are using it as an excuse, it's a lie.

I'm wondering if your hubby is just playing hard to get because he wants you to totally take over, not just initiate but seduce.

If you are obviously initiating just enough to get the ball rolling you hubby is probably seeing right through it

Whatever the reason you need to talk to him because he is not too tired

Fingers crossed he hasn't messed up your chances

Well.. I think he is... I guess if I had told him that I was ovulating he might have done it, but then it would be a bother and not because he wanted to, and I don't want that either... He basically just pushed me away :-S so he knew what I wanted, he even got an erection But he still just said he was too tired and complained I didn't know the meaning of the word no.

I agree - men are never ever too tired. My DH even after 10 hour nightshift is still up for it when he comes home. Just as well that's the case cos everytime I OV appears to be when he's on nights lol

Last time I told DH that if we were going to make baby this month then it was only going to happen within that few days. He willingly obliged. Maybe try explaining to your hubby the same thing - there is only short window when spermies meet eggies. Any other time during the month will be for fun

I'll try to jump him when he gets home from work before we get friends over! Even if that means I have to explain to him the necessity of it I've explained to him that there's only a small window before, and he's asked that I don't tell him directly "we should have sex I'm about to ovulate" which I guess I understand, not very romantic or sexual but obviously not telling him doesn't work either...

Hey hun...this sounds exactly like my OH...he has a real low sex drive so when OV comes up it can be like getting blood out of a stone!! This happens all month every month though so I know it isn't just an excuse to get out of BD...He tries to make the effort when he knows we need to but sometimes I know its a golden opportunity and we'll end up rowing cos he just dont get how important the timing is...he'll say 'can it wait til tomorrow?' and inside I'm screaming at him 'NO IT CANT!!!'...xxx

Yeah.. the inside screaming. argh. that's why I had to come and scream it out loud here to you girls!!
He normally doesn't have a low sex drive though, we've bd'ed 4 times the past 9-10 days, so almost every other day, and now he's too tired! Hmm.. makes me think.. maybe he's having second thoughts about having children or something ?? Last month he was very into trying though, so I don't know. I guess I need to talk to him... (I'm probably making that up in my head though, he could simply be really sleepy, who knows. I mean, today he stayed in bed until 9, he usually gets up around 7.30 because he can't sleep any more and he gets bored..)

Sometimes my OH really is too tired xxx He tends to say no...fall asleep...then wake up in the middle of the night and initiates it then xx Maybe he's feeling poorly? xx

Lol! He often does this as well! I was hoping that would happen... and it almost did but then he kind of woke up and was like "No! I'm too tiiired... and turned around...(In a genuine bewildered way). I think he actually starts initiating in his sleep sometimes, and then when he wakes up it's like "oh! Ok, why not! And he continues!

Hi hun,

My OH is just the same on one cycle he point blank refused every attempt I made to BD, I was so frustrated because it was leading up to my ovulation. On that particular week we did nothing and just like you I was screaming inside. He has aways had a low sex drive though, so when he complains he is too tired I only half believe at times. I've now been trying different stuff throuhout the month to see if I can seduce him. Winding him up throughout the day does have a great effect, so I agree with sending some dirty or flirty text messages to Hubby. However you know him better so just try playing all the cards on things you know he likes. Good luck xx

Thanks! I'll think about what I can do... right now I'm thinking cleaning the apartment might be my best bet since then he'll feel more relaxed and also know we have time before the guests arrive... not very romantic.. but could actually be effective (and if I end up sending a flirty text then having a nice clean and tidy apartment will definitely help as well when he gets home, or rather, if it's a mess that can be quite counter productive

 

[Sleepy sue]

My husband if off motorbike racing this weekend when we should be bd oh well Mary sorted it so there's a chance for us yet lol x x

 

[AndreaJayne]

I would be so frustrated too! The things us women will try when we really want something ha
One thing I didn't know was that spermies lived for 5 days....sounds silly I didn't know !
Would it affect chances showering straight after BD as I find it irritating when i feel wet dwn ther! xx

 

[Joey2011]

I read that it's better to lie down for 10-20 mins immediately after bd to help the swimmers on their way. It is totally frustrating that guys have the 'key' so to speak and by voicing your anger it makes things so much worse as they close up. You have to talk and be truly open and honest. It sounds to me like your hubby has some insecurities because he doesnt want to know about you ovulation as that adds more pressure for him.

I'd talk to him, everyone gets tired, especially with busy lives. I'd try and approach the subject and maybe start being close without sex. Giving him a huge hug and kiss in the morning and when he gets in. Make him want more, he'll soon warm up!

I hope that helps a little.

Good luck!

Xx

 

[mrspc]

Hi hun, I'm sure he is too tired if he says he is. Everyone is different and men don't conform to stereotypes any more than women do!

Is he keen for a baby? My husband works shifts and so is sometimes too tired but since we decided to ttc, he knows that if I say we NEED to then it's because of the timing and so we will both make an effort to get into the mood. Have you spoken to him about how it all works?

Good luck

xxx

 

[Lewa]

I would be so frustrated too! The things us women will try when we really want something ha
One thing I didn't know was that spermies lived for 5 days....sounds silly I didn't know !
Would it affect chances showering straight after BD as I find it irritating when i feel wet dwn ther! xx

From what I've read and heard they can live up to 5 days, but usually they live for up to 3.

It shouldn't matter much if you shower straight after bd'ing. If you manage to wait about a minute or so at least that could help though I've heard that the sperm enter your cervix pretty much right away, so when you shower you shouldn't be harming any of the healthy sperm as they will already be on their way!

 

[Lewa]

I read that it's better to lie down for 10-20 mins immediately after bd to help the swimmers on their way. It is totally frustrating that guys have the 'key' so to speak and by voicing your anger it makes things so much worse as they close up. You have to talk and be truly open and honest. It sounds to me like your hubby has some insecurities because he doesnt want to know about you ovulation as that adds more pressure for him.

I'd talk to him, everyone gets tired, especially with busy lives. I'd try and approach the subject and maybe start being close without sex. Giving him a huge hug and kiss in the morning and when he gets in. Make him want more, he'll soon warm up!

I hope that helps a little.

Good luck!

Xx

He's latino, and to him everything about sex should just "come naturally" you shouldn''t have to talk about it, plan it, discuss it etc. It seems like that's a part of his culture really.. so if I tell him I'm ovulating then it all becomes something kind of different.
I have to say though that when we were staying with his parents over easter I did tell him because getting in some bd'ing took a bit more planning and such, and he was very nice about that and in a way it was extra special I thought because we knew that those times we were doing it to try to create new life, which was also very nice in it's own way! I don't know if he felt like that too.. but later during our stay he did ask "so how did we do? Did we time it around the right days?) or something along those lines... so I guess it depends on the circumstances. (Funny how I rant and then if someone says something "against him" I immediately want to defend him Lol. I still appreciate the replies and do consider and think about them!!!)

 

[Lewa]

Hi hun, I'm sure he is too tired if he says he is. Everyone is different and men don't conform to stereotypes any more than women do!

Is he keen for a baby? My husband works shifts and so is sometimes too tired but since we decided to ttc, he knows that if I say we NEED to then it's because of the timing and so we will both make an effort to get into the mood. Have you spoken to him about how it all works?

Good luck

xxx

I think he was as tired as he said! When he came home from work yesterday he fell asleep and slept for quite a while actually. He also said he had a head ache so I made sure to give him a couple of pain killers

He does want a baby, but the thought of it freaks him out. Some days he'll be all snuggly and hug me and talk about it (he's even dreamed about it) and other days if I talk about it he'll ask me not to cause it stresses him out Last month I thought I was pregnant as I was getting positive OPK's a week after I thought I ovulated, and I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test but didn't take it right away (still at inlaws) and he came into our room and asked in a whisper if I had taken it yet and I said no and he said "well will you? You're not the only one who wants to know you know!) In a rather sensitive hopeful way

 

[Lewa]

I think he simply was very very tired.. because taradamdamdadaaaaaa
last night after our friends left around midnight I we got som bd'ing in

It was almost 1 o'clock, so later than before, and it was no problem getting it started.
I guess I might have overreacted a bit. It's just soooooo frustrating when you know the clock is ticking so to speak. It was kind of funny actually. He said "I can't fall asleep, I'm not tired, or, I'm sleepy, but not tired" and I said "that's ok, I can help you get more tired" and he asked "are you hinting something?" To which I replied "No, I was hinting something when I bit your chin and licked your neck " and he was like "aaaah so your telling me then" me: "yeah..." and the rest is history.

Crossing my fingers it wasn't to late. They say you usually ovulate between 24-48 hours after a positive OPK, and the egg lives for about 12 hours, and the sperm takes 2-6 hours to travel to the egg, so I guess it could have been perfect timing! Fingers crossed!

My temp is higher today than the past 9 days, so I assume I ovulated yesterday (OPK was still positive I think, but a bit weaker than the day before yesterday) (although I have to wait three days to see if the temp stays up before I know for sure according to fertilityfriend.com)

Now.. let the insanity begin! I'll probably start doing hpt's in like 5 or 6 days. I'm HORRIBLE with waiting.

 

[Nyah]

sorry to jump in but i posted this on here as all my questions i was going to ask have been answered regarding sperms life span and how long ive got to get my OH home from work n into bed

I got my first ever batch of OPK's thru post yesterday so i thought i'd have a go n nothing, was negative....am currently on CD13 have done it again this morning n 2 definate pink lines just as OH was off to work <sigh> anyways as I left the packet in bedroom i ran back to make sure i'd opened opk n not preg test but nope was opk

last time we bd was 30.05 so I guess if he uses the 'im too tired' line i might still be in with a chance (i didnt know sperm can live for 5 days) but ive text him n told him as soon as he gets home there is no time for chatter its straight upstairs for him!

gl to all