how supportive is family??

[hope]

Hi ladies. Just wanted an insight into how supportive ur families r during ur pregnancy. I feel pretty let down by family, as noone seems to care, but then, my emotions r all over the place & so I dont have a clue as to whether Im over-reacting or not!!!!!!

This is how involved my family are: tell me if its normal:
parents- its their 1st grandchild, but they live in a remote corner of India, not contactable by phone, they call up erratically on weekends, & then its just a 5 min conversation. Never asked how big I am or even my pregnancy symptoms.
Uncles & aunts: Id helped many out when they had various medical probs(Im a doctor basically) but not one of them have bothered to ask how I am or how I feel.

Is this normal???????? I feel pretty let down, as being in a foreign country, I have very few friends here, & defenitely noone to unburden my little everyday discomforts!!!!

 

Well my in-laws are driving me round the bend! She never gets foosd in for me, tells me what I have to buy for the baby and if I pick something it's crap and not useable, and stuff like that. If I do it different to how she did then apprently I'm doing it wrong!

But my mum and dad live 10mins away from us too and they are really excited, my mum mainly. But I only see them once or twice a week for an hour which gets to me

Sorry about your family sweetheart. Maybe it's just when they call they have other things to ask? Or do you really feel they are avoiding the subject?

xxx

 

[hope]

I dont know Sami........ well, Im 32, happily married for the past 4 years, & by Indian standards, very late in having my 1st child, so why should they be avoiding the topic? What gets to me was that they use excuses like oh I have a headache or its raining very heavily here & we cant get to the phone booth, 4 not contacting me. Now when they do call up I have no enthusiasm to tell them how I feel, & I just say everything's fine, which seems to satisfy them completely!!!!!!!!!!!
So u dont think Im overeacting then? thats good news for me.

Oh I know how u must be feeling with ur in-laws. Maybe I should atleast count my blessings, that there r no interfering relatives here then eh??????

 

I have lived with my in-laws for the entier time of my relationship with my partner feel like I'm having a baby with all 3 of them not just Mark!

I hope things get better for you hunnie. Maybe tell them of the pains and niggles and things you are getting? And tell them about the midwife appts? Are they coming over anytime soon to see you? xxx

 

[hope]

Dont think they r!! They were not too overjoyed when we asked them 3-4 months ago. My dad says he can definitely not make it here in October as he cant take any leave( ITS A POST-RETIREMENT JOB FOR GOD'S SAKE) & anyway mum has done nothing about her visa to come here!

Anyway thanks for the support Sami. Hope things get better 4 u too.

 

It's alright we're moving out next Thursday! Hoorah!!!!

I know it's very very hard babe, but please try not to let them get you down. I know they are your family and you must love them dearly, but people are poeple, whether they are your family or not, and you cant change people unfortunately.

Thinking of you and hope it gets better. Me and the girls are always on here to chat too about all the little things that happen everyday too xxx

 

[OverTheMoon]

Hello again Hope
Sorry to hear u feel a bit neglected by your family. As you know my family are far away too but the distance is nowhere near as great (they in England me in Scotland). I speak to my mum every day and she is ridiculously excited which is nice, but my in laws don't really seem all that interested. To be honest when I am this hormonal I don't think they could win either way (the in laws that is). I'm peed off at their lack of interest but would be peed off if they rang every day too!
Perhaps you should tell your parents how you feel, then they may offer you more support. One theory is that they may not wish to interfere? My mum only calls when DH is at work cos she doesn't want him to think she's interfering. Perhaps thats part of it?
Chin up I am sure nothing else matters when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time

 

[hope]

thanks 4 all the support girls. I picked up the phone & talked to an aunt in USA yesterday. I speak to her husband often, but never much to her. This was a first & I really enjoyed it....she managed to get my spirits up. then today, I just got a letter from one of my best friends in India, with all the juicy gossip about many of our other mutual pals. So thats great!!
I feel so much better already!!!

 

[sasha715]

hey just wanted to say have been reading your posts and im glad ur feeling better, but didnt have much to say as im very lucky n rather spoilt!

overthemoon, what u said about ur mum only calling when DH is out...

my mum does that too, aaron (my OH) is what i call a mans man. He works to look after and provide for his own family (and is good at housework and everything too) he's fully trained! but my mum always worries shes going to step on his toes so she always gets me to ask aaaron if its ok if she can buy something for baby! and she very rarely come round when hes here coz she says thats our time together when he gets in from work.
Aaron really loves my mum so at least i know he doesnt hate his inlaws!
lets hope all that doesnt change when they are both in the delivery suite with me!

 

[-Cat-]

I think its just different people, I know my OH dad and his OH have been great, they keep buying us baby bits and asking lots of questions on how I am and how its all going and generally being really supportive. Where as my own mum, really dosent seem to be that interested, she never comes over to visit, never phones, I always have to go to her, and when I do see her shes really tackless and says how huge I look and if we do talk about it, she just tells me how things were done in her day. and how she hates the names we have chosen! she thenhas the cheak to say she hopes she dosent get left out when the baby it born (OHs parent live in the same village but my mum lives about 1/3 hour drive away).
I doubt your parents mean to be rude or upset you, its just the way different people behave, also as they cant see you and how your shape is changing etc it probably dosent really seem very real to them.