How do you get through the fear?

[lizsamuel80]

I found out I am pregnant a few days ago. I've been on this huge high and was so positive. Tonight I've just hit this emotional wall. I'm scared of loosing this one too. how do you get through it???

 

[netty]

i think its natural t be scared hun, it wont go away you just have to remember its out of your hands darling and try and be positive xxx sedning super sticky thoughts

 

[daniph1]

You take each day at a time! Set little goals! Thats how I managed anyway - although I was a wreck on occassion! congrats xxxx

 

[claire671]

It's so hard but I just set little milestones (early scan, 12 week scan, 16 weeks, 20 weeks) and that helped me and with each one I reached I felt a little bit of the fear ease away. I still have moments of paranoia and I admit that I still do a knicker check every time I go to the toilet. Use this forum as well, sometimes I don't even need to post as someone is feeling exactly how I am and that reassures me that I'm not losing my mind! Best of luck hun, super sticky thoughts going your way xxxx

 

[lizsamuel80]

My first goal is to get to week 9 with out any spotting. I doubt I'll get an early scan. If I had one with my last MC it would have had a heart beat then. So I'm waiting for 12 weeks earliest unless I start spotting that is.

 

[Sproglett]

Hey, I know exactly what you mean, I personally set myself loads of mini milestones. Even then I was still petriefied (still have the odd moment now).

My minin milestones were

• The day after finding out (lost my 3rd the day after i got my bfp)
• 6w without bleeding (I bled at 6w with my ectopic)
• Reassurance scan and seeing a baby (this was inconclusive so had to go back)
• Scan 2 weeks later and seeing baby in the right place
• Booking in appointment (only made it here with the first and this one)
• 11w without bleeding (with my mmc i bled the tiniest spec you have ever seen and was confirmed on scan baby's heart had stopped)
• 12w scan
• Tri2
• 16w midwife
• 18w
• 20w scan
• 24w (Vday)
• 25w+6 - Double figures
• Tri 3
• next one is 30w!

 

[CARNAT22]

Getting a BFP after a loss (or losses in my case) was so bittersweet!

I got through those early days by keeping as calm as possible and taking each day at a time.

My first goal was to get past 6 weeks - by 6 weeks I'd always had at least litte bleed.

My next goal was to see a HB - which we did at 7 weeks!

I then somehow held it together until the 12 week scan.

Little by little I began to realx and although I will never be totally calm I do feel a lot more confident now

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[SunnySue]

Try not to think too far ahead just take things slowly and before you know it you will be reaching so many goals. It is hard and there will always be times when you feel more anxious than others but with every day that passes your confidence will grow. Best of luck

 

[jojo3972]

hey liz i was exactly the same and im actualy terrified of getting my bfp but also im excited to get it its so weired ,with my last mmc i had an early scan saw the hb at 7 weeks was over the moon thought yes its all going to be ok but it was just faulse hope and this time when i get my bfp i dont know what to do about getting a scan im realy scared to see a hb again and for it to go wrong but at the same time i think i need to take charge otherwise i will be having a nervous breakdown, like the others have said try to take a day at a time and try to relax i know its realy hard and i wish u all the luck in the world and lots and lots of baby glue take care xxxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

I can only echo the girls here after 2 mc for me it was little goals I had an early scan at 6 weeks then a NHS reassurance one at 9 due to bleeding then got to 12 week scan, then 20 scan the every 4 weeks as each month goes past is an achievement.

I still panic if LO goes quite and god help me when I give birth LO will probably give me what for in sleepless nights to make up for all the cold drinks and prodding I have done to check if they are ok!

Little steps! xxx

 

[lizsamuel80]

Hehehe! I remember when My daughter would go quiet I would wake her up buy standing near a draw or door and slamming it. The bang woke her up every time. Hehehe and she had hiccups a lot.

 

[mumsy4]

After my .mc's and I got my bfp I was scared senseless, everytime I went to the loo,I'd examine the paper, I swear if I had of owned a magnifying glass it would have lived by the toilet. Every cramp or pain, the fear just never went there was always something to remind me that this baby could just disappear. I lived by the rule book of what to eat, what not to eat, morning sickness was a blessing back then as I hadn't had it with the other pregnancies. I'm not religious person, I don't go to church but I do pray, and I prayed everynight and for me that helped me, I fell asleep with my fingers crossed and I bought a winnie the pooh baby grow to sleep with, these little (maybe silly?) Thingss got me through . Good luck 2 u xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

I'm if mini ultra sound kits were available they would fly off the shelf! Hope you are ok & try not to worry too much xx

 

[lizsamuel80]

Yeah I'm living by my fave TV shows at the moment. The problem is that Thursday - Saturday there is nothing on that I want to watch so those days go slow. But Oh well, 4 sleeps until our 6 week scan I'm trying to tell myself it maybe too early to see a heart beat just yet and trying to forget the fact that last time our baby would have had a HB at this stage. Then it's school holidays for the kids and I get to sleep in every morning for 2 weeks yay!!!!!!

 

[lizsamuel80]

7 Weeks today one more week until the 8th. I just want to get through that week without spotting.

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hey! Hopefully won't be too long for you to wait time stood still for me but even looking back I couldn't have found a way to stop worrying! Are you having a scan before your 12 week one?

I had spotting up until 14th week after 12wk scan I didn't worry as much when I could find hb on doppler, made things easier. Congrats on being 7 weeks!xx

 

[Sproglett]

fx crossed for you, as sunbeam has said, i know time will seem to stand still. x x

 

[lizsamuel80]

Hey! Hopefully won't be too long for you to wait time stood still for me but even looking back I couldn't have found a way to stop worrying! Are you having a scan before your 12 week one?

I had spotting up until 14th week after 12wk scan I didn't worry as much when I could find hb on doppler, made things easier. Congrats on being 7 weeks!xx

We had a 6 week scan saw a heart beat. I picked up the sealed notes for my doc. I couldn't help it I opened it with a little help with the steam from my kettle. They are addressed to my doc but hey they are about me lol! Here we go this is what it said, I'm glad I opened it though.

"Transabdominal scan has been performed.

Within the uterus is a single gestational sac. It contains a single live and active fetus with a fetal heart rate of 119bpm (normal).
The CRL of a fetal pole measures 4.4mm, in keeping with 6 weeks and 0 days gestation.
A yolk sac is noted. The fetal Limbs buds are not visible yet.
The gestational sac is situated to the right of the mid line, but there is no definite evidence of a subseptate uterus.
The maternal uterus and ovaries are unremarkable. There is no adnexal mass or free fluid."

( I love this part in the comment and in bold)

"ALL LOOKS WELL."

Fingers crossed it stays that way.

 

[Sproglett]

amazing letter, well done for opening it lol