Finding this really hard

[karenandbump]

Hi all,

I mc back in Jan and got a BFP again just over a week ago. Since then I've been in tears a fair bit - finding it really hard to feel positive or to believe that this pregnancy will happen. Anyone else felt like this when pregnant after a mc - any advice as to how to relax or is it just a case of getting through it?

xx

 

[Laura_C]

oh hunni,

I have the same very thoughts going through my head, I am sooo scared to get pregnant again after the mc - I know I will find it incredibly hard if/when I get another BFP. I am not yet pregnant again but I imagine its gonna be really tough. Maybe you could push for an early scan just to put your mind at rest a little sooner, I know they probably cant see anything until about 6 weeks but I think that would help me to relax a little more. Or maybe even a visit to the GP to take some blood tests to monitor you hcg levels?

I think I am going to push for this next time!

Try and stay positive hunni, I know it is easier said than done - this baby will stick!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I've not been in your position honey but I do have lots of friend who have and what you describe is very common. You've been hurt and you have your guard up, which is understandable. I think as time passes you'll begin to believe.

 

[mummynmummy2b]

Hey, I havent had a MC so cant totally understand how you're feeling but i did have a bleed at the start of this pregnancy and convinced myself that it was all over. I was 100% that baby had gone and was so shocked when they scanned me a week later that all was ok. Since then ive found it really hard to relax and get excited about this pregnancy.
I dont really think anything that anyone says will help you to relax till your 12 week scan then you will definately chill out.
Could go see your GP (Midwife will say no!) and beg for an early scan. Say you are getting really down and stressed about it. Other option is to pay for a private scan or ask GP to monitor your HCG levels. When i went for my scan (I was 7 weeks) it was really reassuring, the guy who scanned me explained that the embryo was the right size so was developing, there was a HB which was in the normal range and the yolk sac (what nurishes the baby till placenta takes over at about 13 weeks) was a good size so baby was getting enough. All in all they were able to tell me that all looked good so really put my mind at ease. Didnt stop me knicker checking every hour though!

Hope you feel a bit more positive soon, i', sure everything will be fine xxx

 

[hayels]

hi hun i dont think any thing other then time will help u prob when u get past the stage were u mc last time you will start to relax abit. try keep ur chin up lots of love xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Thinking of you Karen X

I do worry about what happens and how you feel if you get pregnant after a MC

Your hormones will be raising in your system at an alarming rate and won't help you keep your emotions steady especially with what you have been through. Perhaps try to take one day at a time, nd I agree with MummynMummy2be next time round if I can't get a scan before 11 weeks, I will pay for one, just for peace of mind.

Try to keep chirpy , and keep chatting to us- It will help you X

 

[hollyes]

Karen
know exactly how you feel. We had mc last feb and found it very hard when became pregnant again. We just had to keep working towards each hurdle, getting past time of mc was a big one and the 12 week scan. I didn't even dare book in with midwife til 10 weeks and couldn't think about buying anything even maternity clothes for ages. The most important thing I found to remember is that worrying won't change anything and that this is your and your babys special time together to be enjoyed the best you can. Setting little targets helps and treating yourself, for example I used to take myself out for hot chocolate on Fridays to celebrate another week, it gives you something small but positive to look forward to. And talk to baby and let him/her know how special they are.
Unfortunately we ran into huge complications at 20 weeks but please don't let that worry you- it is very rare and my husband keeps saying trust me to have to be different. I'm sure things will be fine for you and wish you all the best.

 

[karenandbump]

Thanks all so much - you guys are such a great support.... xxxx

 

[Wobbles]

I was a nervous wreck the whole way through mainly with my 1st after a few bumpy rides.

here hoping all will just be fine for you and bean - Stay ositive (try) x

 

[Toonlass]

Oh hunny, i hope your anxieties ease off soon xx

 

[JJ Mum]

How are you feeling today Karen ?

 

[joannas]

Ohh gosh, I feel so sorry, I went throuugh that as well with my first. Now I'm in the sevents month so hope all will go fine

 

[karenandbump]

Hi all,
thanks so much - feeling ok but feel like I can't enjoy this pregnancy like I did my first. Feeling a bit more positive so hope I'm not setting myself up for a fall. I want this little one so much. Fingers crossed I guess xxxx

 

[tia maria]

hi karen,sorry to hear your story..... i went through the same 5 years ago now and i was heartbroken but sure enough we tried again and got pregnant 3 months later. even so i was so convinced that i was gona loose again because you seem to loose trust in your body a bit and i was the same as you i wasnt as exited caus i didnt let myself believe i was gona have a healthy baby.... but i did, i had a lovely pregnancy and not tooooo bad a birth hehe so all was well as im sure you will be. you never stop thinking about the baby you lost and wondering what it would have been like but it gets easier to cope with believe me. its very hard but try to enjoy your pregnancy and every little stage as i wish i had instead of worrying!! we are currently ttc the second so you do regain some faith in your body again eventually xxxxxxx good luck

 

[Mamafy]

It's totally normal what you're feeling hun, if you're feeling that an early scan would put some nerves to bed I'd either look about getting a reassurance scan at an EPU or book a private one.

Seeing the HB can settle you enough to relax and enjoy

 

[katiejane]

Hi honey, I understand how you feel. I had four mc's in a previous relationship and we were trying all in all for a few years but it wasn't to be. I'm in a much happier relationship now, but had been told i couldn't conceive naturally, had needed fertility drugs in past and had given up hope of conceiving naturally, let alone making it all the way through. It was a big shock when i got my bfp, and my first instinct was i can't do it, i can't cope with another mc. I was a constant nervous wreak, my oh and both sets of parents were over the moon, but i didn't believe it was possible.

I was a constant knicker checker, very worried about everything and like others have said could only focus on small milestones - 8 wks, 10 wks, 12wks, 14 wks etc. Gradually it got easier, but i didn't really let myself fully believe until after the 20 wk scan, that was a massive milestone for me, the 24wks when he was viable, then moving into tri 3. We've bought baby stuff now and been doing the nursery, which is something i wouldn't have dreamed about earlier on in the pregnancy. But I wanted you to know I think its totally normal, and there's very little you can do, i did have an early scan at 6 wks, i was pretty closely monitered because of my history, but needed it to rule out ectopic because i had alot of pain. TBH it was nice to see the heartbeat and made it feel a bit more real, but i still wasn't convinced. Every scan I ask if he's still there, even though i feel him moving now. If I had another pregnancy i'd like to think i'd be different and enjoy it more, but nothing anyone said could have reassured me x