How can I help my friend during her pregnancy?

[BFFhasAbump]

Hi, just thought I'd come on here and ask some questions of the mums/mums-to-be.

My best mate has literally just had her first scans ^^ The baby is healthy, with a strong heart beat and was jumping all over the place! I am ridiculously happy for her.

I currently live about 300miles away, but me and my boyfriend will be moving closer to her when she is in her last two months of pregnancy, to just generally be there and help out. I can't wait! ^^

So, my question is, is there anything can I do to help her out? What sort of things would she appreciate, that her significant other or family may not think about? Essentially I just want to be there for her. So what's the best thing that I could really do for my pregnant best mate?

Also, is there maybe something you wish someone had bought you? Or later saw after the birth and thought "God, yeah, that would've been amazing during the pregnancy!". Maybe some essential thing that you never would have thought you would need, for after the baby arrived.

Just so people know, this is her first child. Unplanned but not unwelcome ^^

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

hi awww thats so good of you to support her. i know i could of done with more bibs lol as they had feeds or weaning they go thru quite a few. just ask hr if she needs anything do a baby hamper of nappies wipes nappy sacks a few bibs toiletries for baby puta couple of dummies in she might not use them a friend did this for me and it all comes in useful i forgot to buy all this stuff so its a good job my friend thought of it also if its a girl tights for cold weather or socks my washer seems to have a taste for socks and leaving them odd but i like the idea of a little baby hamper for her shell love it

 

[LouiseB]

Hiya

You sound a lot like me getting super excited and wanting to be involved in friends having babies, but have you actually spoken to your BFF about it?

You know, moving near her and being around?

If you are going out of your way to be there for her you might expect a certain level of acknowledgement and to be honest, i have felt rather unappreciated myself.

During later pregnancy, my friends (yes, plural) have all actually become quite intolerant of company especially if they have a good OH and family near by. They look tired and uncomfortable and the last thing they want to do is have guests around - even good friends. They don't seem to have the capacity to hold a conversation and that just gets worse when baby arrives.

They want to slouch around and watch TV and not have to think of anyone else.

Sure, they were happy to see me for an hour once per week for a brew but that was it - so just don't have too high expectations of being involved and put yourself out too much, that's all i wanted to say

 

[Poxie_pixie]

A hot water bottle is the most valuable thing for me atm. The hamper idea is brilliant too. You could also organise her a baby shower when she's further gone as you'll know who she wants there and you can also sort out a what not to/to buy list for said shower. xXx you sound like a good friend.

 

[BFFhasAbump]

Thanks for the points Emmaandamyleigh ^^

I've just been looking online now at hampers and the like. I'll be sure to put all the little essentials in it, also maybe have a few spare round my place for when the baby arrives

Hi LouiseB, cheers for the concern. It is something I've been thinking about and I've already realised that it'll likely be a once a week thing when I see her. Probably less when the baby comes.
It was pretty much decided on the day she found out she was pregnant that I'd move down So yes, she is very aware of that, ha.
Also, this will be me and the boyfriend finally moving in together (long distance relationship, the pregnancy just happened to coincide with our move-in plans), so I'm not moving down purely with intentions of "BFF BABY! This is now my life!". I'm moving there with the intention of also setting up a happy little life with the boyfriend as well

 

[BFFhasAbump]

Cheers Poxie I've started thinking about the baby shower, but I'm not sure if that's something she'd want to be honest. I'll either talk to her about arranging it for her, she'll arrange it herself or she'll decide not to have one, heh.

 

[Poxie_pixie]

It's a good way to keep you occupied in the later stages x

 

[JJ Mum]

What a lovely mate you are! wow

I have a mate who brought me a basket with a gingham lioning from TKMax I think, was not expensive as she is skint! But she brought it anyway and over the months from when I got my bfp to about 25 weeks, she filled it with little bits and bobs, babygrows, outfit, nappies, tommie tippe bibs with the soft neck ring on them, little spoons and weaning bowls , first teddy etc, then gave it to me about 25 weeks plus so I knew what I had already so not to double up and so I could get ready. It was sooo nice of her, especially as she had a MC and since then (near 3 years), has not been able to fall pregnant again herself.

We also went out at 20 weeks when I felt safe to go and start buying myself after a prev Mc myself, and had a girlie shopping trip and had cofee out, so being there for things like that was great too.

And just being there like you said once a week is plenty afterwards, and helping with baby or giving her a night out later on when she is ready to leave baby will be soo appreicated !

 

[lea554]

The hamper thing is a fab idea. But my cousin done two for her friend - one full of baby bits, and another seperate one for the mum, full of pampering things, chocolates, etc.
Just thought that was something really nice, especially becuase as soon as the baby is here, all the attention kinda shifts to them, and she didnt want her friend to be 'neglected' as such!

Hoping she does the same for me, lol!
x

 

[pinkymum]

The hamper thing is fantastic! And The idea to do one for mum to be is too. You've got the right idea about discussing a baby shower with her. I had a friend who tried to take over for a while and that's really annoying and even more annoying when hormones are raging lol. Just inform her about stuff your doing and ask her what kind of help she needs which I'm sure you are anyway
Nothing worse than someone trying to take over your plans for your baby, believe me!

X x x x


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[Nanc]

What a great friend you are! My one great buy while being pregnant is my pregnancy pillow... If you've seen "The Back Up Plan" with Jenifer Lopez, you'll known what I mean. You are meant to sleep on your side while pregnant, mainly the left, and this is the only thing that has helped me get used to it.

Also, while my BF was pregnant, I when round when I had time and did some ironing for her, washing up etc while I made her have a rest. You wouldn't believe how knackered you get and easy bits of housework, like hoovering become a marathon event. Xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

Ahh she's lucky to have a friend like you.

One of my neighbours bought me a baby carrier thing front or back, which is going to be amazingly useful, and a sit up play thing for when the baby is sitting up which is also going to be well used. She also got me a johnsons box full of stuff like wipes, top to toe wash, lotion, shampoo and cotton wool, again mega handy!
I prefer things like nappies when people say what do you want for baby, as clothes are literally given to me left right and centre! It's mad how much clothes I've been given, so maybe buy bigger size clothes for when she runs out of all the cute newborn and 0-3 stuff lol.

Being pregnant myself obviously, I think what you're doing is lovely but I wouldn't like it. I have a close friend that lives over the road from me and she says "when I babysit" and I have absolutely no intention of leaving my baby with her. Her mum seems to think i will be asking her to babysit but I wouldn't! I've got my mum, partners mum, and my grandparents all very close so I'm lucky so my fiends wouldn't be first choice. Lol I don't know if I sound ungrateful but it's just the way I feel.
I'm very annoyed at my inlaws as they have bough baby furniature for their house and again undone have a lot of intention for my baby to be going there enough to use it!

Thought maybe I'd give you an insight from a pregnant point of view, but I am a very independent person and prefer to be left to it, as louiseb has probably discovered with her friend too! Don't be put off by what I say, because she may really want you around. I just don't roll like that haha. X