I actually got given a really good tip on feeding themselves a bottle at the weekend. Use a rolled towel to support the weight of the bottle, and prop it up so its at the right angle.
It works really well...i've been doing it on the feeds where she wants to hold it herself, and shes got loads better over the last couple of days!
Re the cup, spud doesnt use hers either...but i always give it to her with her solids, so she'll make an association if nothing else...Got through 4 different cups but the mam training one is ace!, plus the handles and spouts fit on the exisitng mam bottles so i can carry on using them for drinks too until shes onto a proper cup.