HFEA Form

[KatieB]

Hello ladies.

I'm not entirely sure I am posting this in the correct section, so I apologise in advance if that is the case.

I am currently donating my eggs. I am in phase one of the Buserilin injections and jabbing myself daily is easy in comparison to trying to word part of the HFEA form on which I have to write a 'Goodwill Message' to anyone born as a result of my donation.

Now I understand its a personal and heart felt message, and I'm usually alright at wording things but I am completely stumped. Everything I think of to say, to me, sounds wrong. The couples that will be receiving the eggs have obviously gone through such a long journey and wait that anything I put just seems trivial.

So my question: Has anyone been the recipient of an egg donation? If so what would you want your child to read from the donor when they reach their teenage years?

With so many of you going through some really tough times I'm sorry to ask but I could really do with some pointers before the clinic ring again to remind me the form should have been in two weeks ago.

Thank you.

 

[cosmicgirl]

Wow that's an amazing thing you are doing. I personally wouldn't want to write a message to the child, I would feel in some way attached to them if I did iykwim.
Do you have to write a message? I don't really think anyone can advise you on what to write exactly as it's deeply personal xxx


Sent from my knackered iPhone

 

[KatieB]

Thanks cosmicgirl. It's a tricky one, I don't feel attached as my donation is only a tiny part of the whole process, I won't be carrying the baby or see them when they are born so in my head its just a gift to help someone out. As much as I'd like to leave the section blank I don't want to not write anything, only because I think the clinic may think I couldn't be bothered to fill it in! I think I'm going to have to stop over analysing and just write what comes into my head x

 

[cosmicgirl]

That sounds like good idea x


Sent from my knackered iPhone

 

[DaisyPurple]

Wow, what a very selfless act. I guess they are looking for some little pearl of wisdom maybe something like, enjoy each day of your life and know that you are born out of love, compassion and kindness. I don't want to sound corny but maybe sometime in the distant future those words may bring comfort to a child finding out about thier beginnings x

 

[KatieB]

Aw thank you DaisyPurple, I appreciate that x

 

[LouiseB]

I really like what Daisy suggested, but without the love part.

I think you have to realise that many women will gladly accept your eggs while still viewing you as a threat to her family.

Some will gladly welcome the day the donor might be identified while many would prefer to pretend that you don't exist.

I wouldn't try to impress upon them at all.

 

[KatieB]

LouiseB - thanks for that. That was my point about sounding trivial with whatever I wrote. I will never know what they have gone through to get to the point they are at, and I wouldn't try to impress them, merely give them a reason whilst I chose to donate. The form (although accessible to all parties) is mainly aimed at the child rather than the parents. I completely understand what you're saying, although I realised a while back that should I ever be in the position of the mum I'd view a donor differently to how I do currently. I kept it very brief and to the point and thank you for the suggestions so far x

 

[BevG]

id just say that you were honored to be a small part in someone having their much longed for child, and that you were glad you could give such a small gift to someone that would mean the whole world to them.