Thanks jjmum, I will keep talking as you say, I am a bit more open about it all this time but its so hard to speak about at times as I just want to cry everytime xx
Emapot, thanks for your lovely message too, actually made me feel tearful (in a nice way). I feel we will ttc again at some point as I don't think its fair on my OH not to but I am terrified. So sorry for your losses too, it really does take the joy of pregnancy away as its just filled with fear and worry. Its funny you should say about a holiday, we booked one today, it will be nice to have something to look forward to and some quality time together xx