Help needed - problems with getting LO to settle in her cot

[BabyMagic]

I posted rather long post the other day about getting my LO to fall asleep in her cot instead of in my bed (viewtopic.php?f=57&t=106282 - don't bother reading). Now I would REALLY appreciate your help.

She went to sleep fine tonight in her cot (her third night). However, she woke up an hour later. In previous nights she settled pretty quickly if I stayed by the cot singing and stroking her. But tonight she just kept crying so after 15 minutes I took her in my arms. I then tried a method I used some months ago to get her to nap in her pram. I let her settle in my arms and then put her back in the cot. When I did this previously I had to only do it a few times and she would 'give up' and go to sleep.

But not tonight, she went straight to proper screaming when I put her down . I kept putting her into her cot and taking back into my arms quite a few times. In the end, she was even upset in my arms for a while (very unusual). I was patient and let this go on for 45 minutes. After making sure that she was settled in my arms I then BF:ed her (she didn't need a feed as she had fed about 1.5 hours ago).

I was going to persevere and keep to my plan. Is there anything else I could do?

I am not keen on controlled crying and it was awful to see my LO crying so much as she is usually such a good baby. Do you think this may have an impact on her confidence during the day?

Is anyone else going through the same? Has anyone gone through something similar successfully? If yes, any tips?

Sorry for another loooooong post. Thank you for reading x

 

[Steelgoddess]

Hayden was doing this the first few nights of being in his cot, he would go down then wake exactly an hour later

Something you said may be the answer to your problem:

In previous nights she settled pretty quickly if I stayed by the cot singing and stroking her.

Have you tried staying the room and then each night moving further away? then say after a couple days go into another room until you know she is asleep or stay somewhere you can go to her quickly...

I think its babies way of checking ahhh sleepy time, hold on... wheres mum? Ahh! Shes gone waaaaaaa. If she is confident you still close by eventually she will stay asleep longer...

Also is she being put down awake each time?

 

[BabyMagic]

Thanks for your reply.

That's exactly what I am doing when putting her to sleep - making sure that she is awake when she goes down and I then stay with her until she falls asleep. I have still been staying by her cot but will start moving away when we are both comfortable with that.

I felt really bad last night as my LO doesn't normally get upset like that. After a good night sleep I have decided that I won't let her cry for that long (15 mins) as I did last night as I am sure she is easier to comfort if she doesn't get that upset.

Hope my LO like Hayden will become better after a few nights

 

[BabyMagic]

To clarify when LO was crying for 15 mins I was by her cotbed

 

[LisaJ1986]

Angel is still like this. She screams so loud as soon as she recognises the fact she's going into her cot. I either roll her on her side or on her belly (depending on how tired she is) then pat her bum, rub her back or stroke her hair. I let her cry, but i will keep doing this. If she rolls, i roll her back, coz i know it's wearing her out. Sometimes it takes an hour to get her to sleep, then like last night it took 10 minutes.
It's hard to see them cry like it. Angel starts coughing coz she knows that is how to get out the cot. Mummy panics and cuddles her. So i stopped responding to that. I just carry on shushing her and whispering her and rub her back til she falls asleep. As she drifts i slow down the rhythm til i stop completely with just my hand on her back and she's fast asleep. Then i creep out the room.

Up til just before Christmas night time was my worst time of day! I dreaded it. So i decided i needed to be strong and sort it. We're quite fortunate that things progressed so quick. I was prepared for it to take a while.

The other thing i also do before bed is give her some supper. My HV recommended this to me before using the controlled crying option. She has a whole weetabix and milk mushed before bed. She now goes all night without a feed.

 

[LisaJ1986]

Angel is still like this. She screams so loud as soon as she recognises the fact she's going into her cot. I either roll her on her side or on her belly (depending on how tired she is) then pat her bum, rub her back or stroke her hair. I let her cry, but i will keep doing this. If she rolls, i roll her back, coz i know it's wearing her out. Sometimes it takes an hour to get her to sleep, then like last night it took 10 minutes.
It's hard to see them cry like it. Angel starts coughing coz she knows that is how to get out the cot. Mummy panics and cuddles her. So i stopped responding to that. I just carry on shushing her and whispering her and rub her back til she falls asleep. As she drifts i slow down the rhythm til i stop completely with just my hand on her back and she's fast asleep. Then i creep out the room.

Up til just before Christmas night time was my worst time of day! I dreaded it. So i decided i needed to be strong and sort it. We're quite fortunate that things progressed so quick. I was prepared for it to take a while.

The other thing i also do before bed is give her some supper. My HV recommended this to me before using the controlled crying option. She has a whole weetabix and milk mushed before bed. She now goes all night without a feed.

 

[BabyMagic]

Thanks for your response Lisa. I remember reading about Angel's sleeping issues. I understand controlled crying is about leaving them to cry on their own. At least, you are next to her. Even though I noticed last night that when LO got really worked up it didn't really seem to matter that I was there.

I think I will probably try giving LO something to eat just before bedtime at some stage as she still wakes up a lot for feeds. But maybe I'll tackle this cot issue first.

I really hope that tonight will go better. I have decided not to let her cry for more than 5 - 10 minutes and if she really gets wind up I will pick her up and try the 'picking-up and putting back' method.

 

[LisaJ1986]

Yeah. Angel has been quite a nightmare at bedtime since day 1. But controlled crying was always gonna be a last resort. I tried it night one in her own room, but i gave in within 20 minutes and just sat with her until she eventually drifted off.

 

[BabyMagic]

Lisa - well done for sitting there with her It must have been heart-breaking for you, but at least Angel knew that you were there for her. I really hope that it will get better for you

Tonight has been pretty good so far. LO settled to sleep with just a little cry, and has only woken up once since. I decided to pick her up straight away as she started screaming from the word go. I cuddled her and when I put her down for the first time she still screamed, so I picked her up again. When I put her down she settled pretty quickly. I stayed by her cot until she fell asleep.

My friend gave me a booked called: 'the no-cry sleep solution' and I've been reading it all night. It has some really useful tips, particularly for co-sleepers (such as stopping babies suckling after they have finished feeding vigorously - however, this means that mums need to stay awake ). Reading it made me feel more confident that I am doing something right. I will first deal with this issue of LO sleeping in her cot until I go to bed, and then I will start dealing with her night time wakings which haven't really bothered me. Having said that, I am keen to help her to sleep for longer stretches.

 

[Sherlock]

I think you are doing a great job and sounds like it will just need a bit of time and patience.

FWIW CC isn't recommended for babies her age so I'd not go that route. Yes a few minutes crying if you are in the room, but going and leaving her till she stops crying isn't for her methinks.

I personally don't really go with the pick up, put down approach. I stuck with comforting LO while in his basket, hand on head, giving him a muslin to cuddle... have you tried giving her a muslin? Works wonders for my little man. He cuddles it, pulls it around, throws it over his face (its thin so he's fine) and goes to sleep with it. When he is out, I remove it and only give it back if he stirs.

Keep going hun you sound like you are doing a great job

 

[BabyMagic]

Sherlock - I agree about CC. It is just not me. Plus my LO wouldn't need it as she is a good baby and as I said before it's not her fault that I have allowed her to fall asleep in my bed. That's why I am determined to make this change as gentle as possible.

Tonight has been pretty good (so far). LO settled pretty much straight away and hasn't woken up since. I still feel a little guitly for letting her to cry and get that upset the other night as I now realise it wasn't necessary. But at the time I thought I was doing the right thing and that she would settle after a while. Poor princess must have been properly distressed Well we learn from our mistakes.

I hope LO will learn to settle to certain extend within the next week as we are travelling to another timezone and a new place again for a couple of weeks next week.