Having the next one, sooner or later?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Emamay, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    Just curious on people's opinions, which I understand are complete personal and differ from person to person.

    Lets assume you decided to definitely have another baby.
    Would you start trying right away? Or wait a while?

    I have two friends on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

    A, had one baby, and was pregnant again 4 months later. She says its lovely having the two young ones, they can grow up together, support each other, and she's already so used to the one, that dealing with the second was easy in terms of theory. However, she said she's dreading when they're older, arguments over toys, bed times, etc, she feels she didn't get much time with the first, and she's over the top exhausted.

    B, had one baby, wanted another, and was told she couldn't. Seven years later, baby number two. She said it's lovely having such a big gap, the older is old enough now that he looks after/amuses himself, is old enough to understand that there's a new addition to the family, and she gets lots of time with baby while boy's at school, and time with boy once baby's asleep. He's also old enough to help out, getting stuff and can give baby bottle etc. On the other hand, parents had just started getting used to having time to themselves again, and they're that much older now, and have had to start again with all the baby stuff as the obviously have nothing from eight years ago.


    Just wondering what you guys thought? Xx
     
  2. HL28

    HL28 Well-Known Member

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    Well I've actually done both lol. First two are 13 months apart and we then waited and had a 5 year gap between 2nd and 3rd. It was pretty tough having such a small gap. My first is also a little whirlwind so was so busy and hard work. I did find I felt overwhelmingly guilty not being able to give my first the attention in the first few weeks but we soon all adapted. Some people probably find it a breeze but without much help apart from OH I personally found pregnancy hard work, with SPD and then added sciatica with the second hard. I've really treasured and enjoyed the 5 year gap! I get school times to spend with just baby but evenings and weekends with them all. I'm back childminding in Sept so I've really made the most of looking after just one xxx
     
  3. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    I would have gone for a bigger gap as both my husband and I have big gaps between us and our sibblings and liked it but I'm 33 and have suddenly decided I want 2 more so we are going for as close as possible! I think close in age can work nicely to, I've had frends who have done it. It is a lot of work though.
     
  4. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Going to wait until James is 2, that way he can be on a buggy board (so need to buy double pram) and by the time I am back to work after maternity leave with number 2 James will be old enough for nursery so we wont be paying childcare for 2 kids!

    xxxxxxx
     
  5. TaffyRose

    TaffyRose Well-Known Member

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    Planning on ttc baby no 2 early next year. All being well Max will be about 2 and a half when baby's born xx
     
  6. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    Im planning on ttc once Aaron is 1 - I want to get it out of the way tbh, as two is my limit and I want Aaron to have a sibling that can be his peer that he can copy/learn things from

    I want to have my babies then I can focus on career without having more jnteruptions iykwim


    Tapatalking!
     
  7. Lettie

    Lettie Well-Known Member

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    We have a small ish gap. 18months and lo is 2 week s. So far its been an absolute joy dd is so lovely towarss her baby brother. I jave a super helpful husband tho and 2m he goes back to work so ask me in a week lol. Not quite sure how I'll cope come the morning ! Pregnancy was quite tough going towards the end though with a lo. Tiring and physically challenging carry ing a small person on the inside and outside. And o had a very easy pregnancy. Pros and cons for both
     
  8. Lolly85x

    Lolly85x Well-Known Member

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    I'm waiting till W is at least 2.5 to start TTC. If we even do that is :-/
    I have a few reasons. I have a double buggy phobia, no real reason. I have no idea why!
    I cannot afford childcare for 2 kids, and not going back to work is not an option so I need to wait untill he's in free childcare.
    I want to enjoy W on his own, then when baby no.2 came I would have some 1-1 time with baby when W was at nursery/school.
     
  9. Frankie_Lou

    Frankie_Lou Well-Known Member

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    My LO is 8.5 months old and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with the next!

    So to answer your question....Sooner! Lol

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9380 using Tapatalk
     
  10. wifeywifey

    wifeywifey Well-Known Member

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    I have a 12 month gap and being honest at times its been really tough but now my youngest is 16 month its getting easier most days we have lots of fun especially in the garden now its nice. I wouldn't change it tho all the hard work is worth it when they are playing etc.

    Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk 2
     
  11. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    Some interesting points...

    For me, career is not a problem. I'm where I wanna be, and have just gone back this week after six months off and just slotted right back in.

    Age... I was 25 when I had Cay, 26 now, so really I've got a good ten years if I suddenly decide last minute that I simply must have another one.

    In terms of pregnancy... Cay was a dream from conception to present. No morning sickness, heartburn, labour arrived with no warning, and Cay arrived 3:55 later.
    I expect the next to be horrific :)

    I think really like some of you have said, I'd like to spend this time with Cay, and wait until he's 3-4y so I can have time with new bubba...

    I don't know. I kinda really want to be pregnant again already... Xx
     
  12. Karate Kid

    Karate Kid Well-Known Member

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    Well C is 11months and I am pregnant with number 2, I have always wanted babies close in age.

    My career is already on hold because of C, my body is already carrying more weight, my head is in the right place and I love the thought of my babies being close in age. Hubby and his sis are 18 months apart and they have apparently always had a lovely relationship.

    Xx



     
  13. Leah04x

    Leah04x Well-Known Member

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    Definitely later for me! But not too late.. We're going to wait until Ethan's about 2 before we TTC xx
     
  14. Becky1

    Becky1 Well-Known Member

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    I think I'd like to wait till jj is 1... I'm 32 1/2 now so time isn't on my side, would like next before I'm 35.
     

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