Having Nightmares :(

[kadesmummy]

Ever since the midwife said Logan isn't going to be small i've had nightmares every night.

Seriously.. i mean i can do labour, i've done it once. It's the pushing/tearing thing that's scaring me stupid.

I think i had such a problem bonding with Kade because he was so big, and i ended up with a 2nd degree tear - i know most people tear, but i had such a hard time recovering from it, and i got such a shock.. i was really naive and thought my bits would go back to normal almost straight away, never mind that i could hardly walk for 2 weeks, or that i wouldn't be able to have sex properly for a year afterwards

Seriously hope it doesn't happen this time... and i hope scar tissue doesn't tear as easy ... like what if Logan opens up what happened before but then makes it worse?

I tried discussing this with the midwife but i burst into tears and felt like a total idiot.

My mum said they'd maybe help me out a bit if i voiced my concerns, but to be honest, i don't think they'd do anything to help apart from riassurance, and hows that going to help me from tearing?

ugh.

xx

 

[mum2A&L]

i think (someone correct me if im wrong) oil rubbed in can help soften it up and help prevent it from tearing........ but i do think scar tissue is weaker than normal - ive a scar on my belly button and its sore already.

I was very lucky with alice and just grazed - im quite scared about it this time as well - the idea of having to recover with a baby and a toddler is scary enough, let alone if im in more discomfort.


oh god......ive just remembered the first poo!! Im going to have to remember to put some pads in the fridge for this time around