Having a second child

[Blackfairykitten]

Well this was gonna be a depressing post about how my OH did not want a second child and that originally I had agreed but in the last month or so all I can think of was having another baby.
So I kept bringing up the subject but he really didn't want to talk about it... untill we started joking about how he needed a new drill and if I was to buy him one I could have another baby!

My reply to this was well it's a bit mean when that child was to come along and tell them your sister was lovingly plan but you, well mummy had to bribe daddy with a drill for you!

But all joking aside he said in the morning 'Yes you can have another baby, you knew you get your own way anyway didn't you?'
I kinda feel bad that I had to grind him down but as one of his mates said if he really didn't want another he wouldn't have budged which is true I guess, so I'm super excited but not gonna ttc till after our holiday/honeymoon next summer.

Anyone else had a similar experience?

 

[Becky]

We're not quite there yet - although I can see it's something that might happen. OH has always said that he wanted 2 children, no more. We're on baby no2 and I do wonder if this will be the last time I'm pg because he's so adamant about it. I've always thought more like 3 children and I'd love to think that it was a possibility but knowing my OH I don't think there's any chance I'll change his mind.

It's not easy really, I've no idea what the future holds for us, I've told him that I don't like feeling as if my life is decided for me as it's something he's always been honest about I guess I can't complain!

 

[mary70]

yes hun i did my husband said all along he only wanted one child which for 13 years was fine by me but when i got to 34 the urge for another was amazing and i more or less when and had the coil taken out and said right we are having another and to be honest there wasnt alot of discussion all though i new he would have been happier if i hadnt got caught, he wasnt very supportive through the pregnancy but she was born just over 4 weeks prem and we were both quite poorly for 2 weeks after the birth and that brought us all close togeather again but we had a really rough first year as Hannah wouldnt feed and i had bad pnd and it nearly did break us up and it came up more than one time that it was me who wanted the baby not him and it is only 3 years down the line that things have really sorted themselves out, dont get me wrong my husband loves his little princess to bits but it hasnt been without its problems. hope all that makes sence

 

[Tangerinedream]

I know how you feel hun, my OH says he doesnt want anymore. At first he said if I wanted another I would have to find somebody else to have one with (I think I will if he says that again). Now when I say I want another he says you cant afford one (never "we" cant afford one). I do talk about it like it is going to happen because it is, at the end of the day it is my decision. I will just refuse to sleep with him I dont want another yet anyway, when Jake is 3ish I think.

 

[sazzylou]

I know how you feel hun, my OH says he doesnt want anymore. At first he said if I wanted another I would have to find somebody else to have one with (I think I will if he says that again).

My OH says exactly the same thing to me Cheeky *******, lol Id love another. Just 1 more! Id love to try for a little boy (not that id mind 3 girls )but he says absolutely no way Im not letting it go though. Im only 28 and the thought of never being pregnant again and never having another baby makes me so sad Problem is, my OH is an only child and his parents raised him to think that money was the be all and end all, and that its best to have as few kids as possible as they cost money...blah blah blah. Id have 4 if i could KNow its probably not gonns happen, but i WILL be having a third baby......im gonna grind him down, i dont care

 

[clairescunny55]

Absolutely.I had to beg for my 2nd baby! I'm working on number 3 now!

 

[aramintalovegrove]

See sig, we were definatley not having anymore than one child

 

[dinks1]

Im so pleased!!! But cant you get on and get preggers sooner than that. Then the next blobs can be play buddies too!
x

 

[Blackfairykitten]

Fraid not, I want to fit in my wedding dress thanks! haha

 

[kelly-mum-2-be]

hello, not been on for ages. Well i already have one little girl who will be 3 in january. Her dad left me when i was 6 months pregnant and never had contact. I met somebody else and we have been togethr 1 and half years. i am 24 weeks pregnant with my second baby and he has left me for the umptinth time, said he cant cope and he not puttin himself through it. I feel very silly cos i always take him back as i love him so much, he also plays alot of mind games with me and i am now so scared of being on my own with 2 children, anyone any advice???

 

[Lindsay]

We always knew that we were going to have 2 children, but I wanted to try when DH didn't!! I went on and on and on about it but he was adamant that we had to wait cos he didn't want to have another one yet. I stopped mentioning it cos I knew that I was beginning to really get on his nerves and it was then that he changed his mind!!! We went away for a break to Dublin without our son and after a few (well lots) of guinness he said in the hotel room that it was my only chance to make love without a condom (I didn't go back on the pill) I was on top of him like a shot!!! Nothing was said about if we were ttc until the next time we went to make love and he said we may as well not bother with protection and see what happens - our daughter happened!!!! I fell PG straight away

Xxx

 

[Lindsay]

I know how you feel hun, my OH says he doesnt want anymore. At first he said if I wanted another I would have to find somebody else to have one with (I think I will if he says that again).

My OH says exactly the same thing to me Cheeky b*****d, lol Id love another. Just 1 more! Id love to try for a little boy (not that id mind 3 girls )but he says absolutely no way Im not letting it go though. Im only 28 and the thought of never being pregnant again and never having another baby makes me so sad Problem is, my OH is an only child and his parents raised him to think that money was the be all and end all, and that its best to have as few kids as possible as they cost money...blah blah blah. Id have 4 if i could KNow its probably not gonns happen, but i WILL be having a third baby......im gonna grind him down, i dont care

That could be me writing that post! I get so sad when I think that I won't be PG again. DH has said that we are defo not having anymore and he is adamant about it.

Xxx

 

[Xena]

DH didn't really want another one after Lydia.

I asked him when she was 6 months old if we could try for another one, and he hesitantly agreed.

Now though he is quite adamant that he doesn't want any more I'd love 2 more though. I don't think it's going to work trying to get him to change his mind though. He insisted that I take the MAP a few months ago after we got a bit carried away one night. That really gutted me

 

[mamichuli]

You know, there is something funny about the way we women work...I have three, and love them to bits, and after Ani (my youngest) was born i was adamant I did not and would not want any more. I had all the reasons (they are the same now really)
1. I am too old (42)
2. too poor (can barely pay the bills, in fact at the mo with my OH work situations I have serious financial probs)
3. I couldnt cope. I commute to work (three hours travel every day) and work full 8 hour day, so am out of the house eleven/twelve hours day. I get up at five thirty in am and finish at midnight, give or take a penny.
4. My boss would get rid of me (or would have a heart attack)
5. My parents would kill me
6. Pregnancy would kill me (not the same at 20 as at 40, I'm telling ya)
7. Labour would kill me

A few weeks ago I had a scare and thought i might be pregnant. My immediate response was OH MY GOD NO. I dont want another...then, I got thinking...and thought to myself, ...I wouldnt mind you know. I found out at the doc's yesterday that I have prob started the change, so no more babies for me...but part of me.... In any case, just as well nature is taking cards in the matter, as my OH certainly DOES NOT want any more!!!

You see, I think it is my most successful role in all my life!

 

[rachie29]

I really want another baby although I think I would like to wait until Holly turns 1 before coming off the pill. It woud probably tkae me a while as I really dont think my body is back to normal after finishing b/f.

We have talked about another but fleetingly, OH knows I want at least 2 and i think he does want another,he just has a fear of the whole sex to be pregnant thing.. when we do agree to start trying I'll just come off the pill and jump him at the right time ( he hates the pressure to perform thing!)

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya,

Blimey, I thought I was pretty alone with this....everyone I know around me seem to have supportive OH's who wanted all their kiddies etc etc.

I've now got 3 girls, and I must say, I really really had to throw my toys out of the pram to get the third!!! I'm not proud of it but that thing of 'finding someone else to have one with' well, at one point I threatened to do just that, and my OH loves to remind me at least 3 times a week!!! The worst thing is, I thought I wouldn't want anymore after no.3 but the broodiness has returned - would really love to have a little boy as I have 3 girls.

The thing is, we've nearly split up over the whole thing; have been to counselling and things are a lot better. I realise that I shouldn't have behaved like I did - I just didn't know what to do - it is so difficult when two people want different things, I mean how do you compromise on something like that??? I hope that OH may let me have 1 more in a couple of years (before I get too old), if we can improve our finances and move to a bigger house etc etc but from experience, I don't want it to be like it was with Ruby. It really upsets me sometimes when I look at my beautiful little girl and think of my OH's resentment. He hasn't bonded with her very well and often gets stroppy when she cries, and makes comments about 'having too many children' - it breaks my heart! There are people out there who would kill to have a baby like Ruby, I just can't understand it. It's getting better I guess, but it has been extremely difficult.

All I'd say really is take the gently gently approach but anyone in this situation, don't give up, just be very careful as these things can have lasting consequences.

 

[kelsey]

Hiya,

Blimey, I thought I was pretty alone with this....everyone I know around me seem to have supportive OH's who wanted all their kiddies etc etc.

I've now got 3 girls, and I must say, I really really had to throw my toys out of the pram to get the third!!! I'm not proud of it but that thing of 'finding someone else to have one with' well, at one point I threatened to do just that, and my OH loves to remind me at least 3 times a week!!! The worst thing is, I thought I wouldn't want anymore after no.3 but the broodiness has returned - would really love to have a little boy as I have 3 girls.

The thing is, we've nearly split up over the whole thing; have been to counselling and things are a lot better. I realise that I shouldn't have behaved like I did - I just didn't know what to do - it is so difficult when two people want different things, I mean how do you compromise on something like that??? I hope that OH may let me have 1 more in a couple of years (before I get too old), if we can improve our finances and move to a bigger house etc etc but from experience, I don't want it to be like it was with Ruby. It really upsets me sometimes when I look at my beautiful little girl and think of my OH's resentment. He hasn't bonded with her very well and often gets stroppy when she cries, and makes comments about 'having too many children' - it breaks my heart! There are people out there who would kill to have a baby like Ruby, I just can't understand it. It's getting better I guess, but it has been extremely difficult.

All I'd say really is take the gently gently approach but anyone in this situation, don't give up, just be very careful as these things can have lasting consequences.

I'm exactly the same and it doesn't get easier. I had my first two children when i met o/h and when i fell pregnant he was over the moon. After having Aidan o/h said we werent gonna have any more children at least for a few years.

Anyway, we weren't careful and when Aidan was 8 months old i found out i was pregnant with number 4. All the way through we said (well he said and i agreed) that it was gonna be the last.

L/o is now 10 months and I'm as broody as ever

I know its not realistic but omg i'd love another one - i even adore the newborn cry. I saw a 3 week old baby the other day and i just melted.