Have asked for my pictures!

[miss_soldier]

I'm a bit concerned incase folk think I'm heartless but I believe this was the best decision for me at the time! When I have birth back in may I decided not to see baby as I was scared of what I would see at only 20 weeks. I was very emotional and scared that if I did see baby and spend time I wouldn't have been able to cope. However midwife took foot and hand prints which I treasure, it is on a card with date and time of birth. It sits on my bedside table along side my 12 week scan which was a happy healthy scan. Also midwife said she had took pictures for me but she did say I made right decision not to see baby as was in that middle stage of not quite a fetus anymore but not quite a newborn baby. Anyway I planned to ask for my pictures when I got post mortum results but completely forgot to ask as I was asking to many questions about the report!
Anyway, have phoned RAH to ask if I can collect pictures now. Waiting on secretary phoning me back as she said she had to look out my file.

I hope you don't think I'm heartless because of my choice at the time. I do wish now I got a hug but I don't think I would genuinely been able to cope the last couple of months if I had.

I can't wait to get my pictures and see my boy xx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

No one will think anything of you hunny you made the right choice for you at what was a very difficult time. I wasn't allowed to see my baby and I wish so much I could of but everyone feels differently. I was with my friend when she gave birth at 18 weeks and he was perfect just like a barbie doll size. She regrets seeing him so everyone is different and feels different. Now your ready to see him at a time that's right for you so I'm sure you will enjoy your pictures. So sorry for your loss xxx

 

[miss_soldier]

Thank you, just didnt want folk thinking I was being selfish.

My other half feels ready now to see the pictures aswell as he had felt the same as me at the time just a lot more stronger, I think it was his way of coping aswell.

That's a shame you didn't get the choice, they should let you have the choice at whatever stage in pregnancy. Xx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

It's good your both ready means you can do it together. My oh isn't coping as well as he makes out. Baby had been dead around a week and my cervix wouldn't open so had to have surgery. Had they found out sooner when I first complained of feeling unwell I would of been able to xxx

 

[miss_soldier]

I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you are doing as well as you can be in these difficult times/situations! I hope your other half is getting there too time is a great healer, I have definitely learnt that to be true xxx

 

[nikki_isme]

My sister lost her baby at around 20 weeks, and she also chose not to see him. It took her a while (a few months at least, think around 4/5 months), but eventually she asked to see the photos and his little face is now proudly displayed in a frame.

No one thinks you are selfish at all. You went through a massive trauma, and you have to do what feels right on your terms, not anyone elses xx

 

[miss_soldier]

Awww thanks!! I'm starting to panic though as I chased it up today and secretary said the pictures are not in my file I'm hoping they have been filed else where! She said she will check with labour ward and the midwife who seen me to see if they have them. Fingers crossed they do as if there's no pictures I'm going to be devasted and feel so guilty for not seeing baby at the time xxx

 

[miss_soldier]

Got the pictures! There on a USB stick so heading home the now and after my dinner I will look at them, very nervous! Xxx

 

[redbear]

Just wanted to say I hope your ok and have seen your boy xx

 

[gemloulau]

Don't be nervous. I look at my pictures every day and give Leo a little kiss goodnight. I'd be lost without them it makes me realise that what I went through was real.

It'll hurt like hell looking at them but you'll be so glad you did. You'll be able to put a face to your angel.

Hope you're ok

Xx

 

[Loula]

Thinking of you x

 

[scn]

Thinking of you hun and hope seeing the pics of your precious baby gives you some peace after the heartache xxx

 

[Daley]

Thinking of you xxx

 

[miss_soldier]

Thank you girls! I am glad I've done and seen my baby! I still have my own image in my head what he would look like as he wasn't quite a newborn yet. The support on this site has been amazing, defo a member for life! Xxx

 

[Daley]

Glad your ok Hun, treasure them xxx

 

[gemloulau]

I'm so glad you got to see your pictures. I hope they've brought you some comfort xx

 

[laurat]

Oh honey, glad they brought you some comfort! Xxxx