Grrrrrrrr!!

[ema-lou24]

me and my ex (sons dad) split up in 2005. best thing i ever done
but now hes living with his fiancee and her wee one things have changed.

he pays £20 a week for maintenece, but middle of jan he decides to tell me hes broke and no job and promises me he will have money this weekend for me....so im like ok ile drop him off after school and get money like we normally do.

now hes saying hes skint and cant afford to pay....so i said well if u cant afford to pay for him then u dont deserve to see him (was this too harsh)

he then says hes going to go the the lawyers about it and all that, so i hit back with, if u can afford a lwyers then surely u can afford to pay for your son? and u managed to go out and get drunk at your fiancees birthday party!

we arent yet divorced yet either he commited adultery so i was like cos u fuked up the marriage u can pay for the divorce so that was fine, so hes quite happy to go to the lawyers to moan about paying £20 but wont go to the lawyers to get a divorce?? seems a bit odd if u ask me?

so i told him i wasnt helping him out nemore and if he wants to see his son he can travel the 20miles to pick him up cos i aint bothering my arse to help and now i couldnt care less if he has a relationship with his son, i want him too but if hes like this then no, so im not gonna force him.

hes just txt me the now to say his fiancee if paying for the lawyers to get it sorted once and for all, so im like ok so weve had this routine for 4+years and NOW u changing it to suit u and her?? get a grip! and i want him to go to the lawyers cos I WANT A DIVORCE!!

GRRRRRRRRRR hes doing my nut in!

told him to be here for 3pm or hes not seeing him. he doesnt pay for him so i can refuse him seeing him cant i? xx

 

[becks20]

I dunno really what to say but didnt want to read n run, my ex is exactly the same i ended up going to the csa and i now get £5 a week from him (because he gets job seekers, but is also working cash in hand but they dnt no that) i used to refuse him seeing bella but he used to threaten with courts etc and i no his family would do that. but now iv moved iv agreed he can see bella every other weekend but hes still moaning bout courts! i no as bella was born 2006 her dad has same rights as me to see her but as your son was born before, was u married when you had your son? as if u were i think he has same rights as you its only if your not married he wouldnt have many rights x

 

[Toonlass]

I know he hasn't paid his maintenance but is he a good dad to your son? do they get on? It would be a shame to split them up over money. I think if you want the money situation sorting out you should go to the CSA and let them fight it out with him xx

 

[ema-lou24]

now hes threatening to take me to court to get my son FULL TIME!!

can he do that? would the court see it in my favour?? he slept with a 15yr old thats why we split, he has no job, he lives 20miles away from my sons skool etc, we were married before our son came.

i told him to forget the money im not interested in it, he made a big song and dance about picking him up and then threatened me saying he would basically punch me if he was to see me co hes getting his dad to pick the wee one up.

he is a good dad i cant fault him there and really dont want him to not have a relationship with his dad, but my son is starting to see what his dadf is really like

 

[becks20]

he wuldnt get your son full time as the courts always favour the mums. if he is threatening to punch you if he saw you what sort of man is that? im sure your son will no whats going on and he can say "i dnt wnt to see dad" then obviously you cant force him to go. but if your son wants to see him then i guess you have to let him see him. x

 

[laura dec 1988]

So sorry your going though this hun. xx

 

[katietateypot]

I don't really know what rights people have so i can't help there but him saying he is going to punch you is out of line...if he sent that by txt keep it as if he does go to court...(i can't see him winning that battle btw)...show whoever you need to that text.
If he's a good dad and your son gets on with him splitting up their relationship probs isnt best. You know your son better than anyone else though!!!

I hope this can get sorted for you and your sons sake, without hastle!

 

[ema-lou24]

well my sons grandad is coming to pick him up, we have saved every text sent and recieved and recorded all phone calls, when my son is away im phoning the police station and getting an interview and showing them all of the evidence.

He will prob make me out to be the baddy but i dont care, i want the best for my son but i cant be doing with him threatening me any longer, not on. I dont want my son in this environment.

He said in one text message that i need a smack in the face for me to realise hes skint and that hes not trying to fob me off, i was like so my son needs to see that? hhhmmmm good one! and i realise your skint, incase uve forgotten we have got off this convo, all i asked was when u were picking your son up cos i cant drive with these painkillers. but i dont think he should see his son, but unfortunalty i cant stop him

 

[racheldee]

hmm, i thought if there was violence involved you have a right to keep your son away from that
not sure if im 100% right but if he is a violent person or is threatening with violence, thats never a good thing with a child in the situation?
i hope things work out for you sweets

 

[ToffeePop]

Don't really know what else to say except try and keep calm around him and don't say anything you might regret later

(What a tool , though, saying you need a "punch in the face"....)

 

[ema-lou24]

hes just made my piss boil!!!

he was rattling off all this abuse to me and me being sarcastic said "keep them coming mate, all the more for when i go to the police"

 

[ema-lou24]

police coming around to make a statement

 

[mrsH2009]

 

[ema-lou24]

well they took my statement and then went and gave him a lil warning then he told them it was me who was seding him the abuse!
they did say before they left mine that it would prob b a case of tit for tat, but i showed them all the texts recieved and sent and i was actually calm when he rold me he was gonna smash my face in and take my son off me, i didnt once threaten him so dunno where hes getting that from.

the police just came back to tell me this and that he had put a counter alligation in about my OH...wtf is that??

i told the nice bobby man that i didnt want ne contact with my ex, so we will see how long that goes on for...anymnore abuse then ive to give them my incident number and they will take it from there again.

Im just sooo pissed off that hes trying to shove it back onto me when i aint dun nothing wrong! hes an arsehole.
Also told the policeman that the reason we split was cos he slept with a 15yr old and that he threatened to get the mitsy crew onto me (local gang than beat up people) the police laughed at this as they know about them.

anyone here know much about law etc?

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Oh blimey he is a right prick isnt he? I hope you get it sorted and dont get any more grief from him

 

[rakrak]

oh hun, he sounds like a total arse... hope you don't get too stressed out about him. you've done the right thing so I hope it all gets sorted soon xx

 

[ema-lou24]

he just boils my piss!

thinks hes better than everyone and a compulsive lier too

when his dad came and picked wull up, was telling him cos im close to his dad and even he said hes a prick and needs a good kick up the arse!! (his dad always wanted us to get bk together but now he knows im much better than that)

GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

 

[Baby Bean]

Oh hun do you know what counter allegation he's made against your OH? Sounds like he's just trying to get his own back on you and making up a bunch of lies. You've done the right thing by keeping all the texts sent/received etc and by speaking to the police. I hope it works out ok for you hun x

 

[ema-lou24]

the police man didnt say, just that hed made an alligation about him, but the police have decided to just drop it.

but now im worried cos im not contacting him cos im worried i get accused of summit else, but i wanna know how my son is

might give his papa a ring and see x

 

[katietateypot]

I've just seen the replies to this...so sorry he's putting yet more stress on you by saying things about your OH.

I think if you contact him about your son and be civil if he say's anything abusive back then it just shows its him who has caused this. If you don't feel right speaking to him anymore then like you say go through his dad, do whatever you feel comfortable with. xx