Grr (need to let of steam, feel free to ignore)

[abcd1234]

This is a bit of a pointless post but i kinda jsut wanted to let everything out and help myself lol

I cannot for the life of me understand how my baby daddy can simply NOT care about his baby!!
He told me from the start he didnt want her so why did her bother messign around saying he'd come to terms with it and did?
He's put me thorugh so much shit and we were working quite well together, i see him one night. have a really good time. next thing i know hes gone again.
He's not bought her anything, and he only paid part for my 4D scan cos his mum pushed him, and he acted all interested at the scan and hasnt mentioned her since, and i know he doesnt talk about her in work either.
He spent £400 trying to impress some other girl, and this annoys me as i actually thought she was a decent girl who would have seen the way hes acted during my pregnancy and stayed away from him, i even found out hes been sending us both the same messages but even that hasnt put her off. TBH shes welcome to him now, she'll soon see as soon as he was her he'll drop the nice guy act.
He "bought" the baby one thing, a little ralph lauren set, i knew he got it cheaper then it should have been, BUT he returend an item last week he'd bought the same day sa the baby thing, so, as i do cash office i had a look at his reciept, i wnated to know jsut how much he'd got off, There's NO baby clothes on theres at all!! Makes me think that the one thing he's given me for her he fukcing stole!!!! I'm going to go through all the staff sales on saturday to be sure though.
He ignored me for weeks then said i'd over reacted he wante to try blah blah blah, we met to talk, he just wants sex, and as soon as he'd got it he made some lie abotu seeing me tomorrow to talk through everything properly then doesnt.
Then this week i get a letter saying he loves me and when baby gets here it'll be what he needs to sort himself out. Made me really mad, but my mum ocnvinced me i needed to talk to him about everything, such as my plans for the birth (they dont include him) so i said i would, then he starts fukcing me around changing times then stops replying ot my msgs.
Now i've told him enough is enough and to leave me and her alone, i'm seeing his mum next week for lunch so i will talk ot her about the birth and everything and she can let him know that way. ( his mum is really nice, she just has a loyalty to him i wish hsewouldnt lol)
So anyway he ingored me, was in work yesterday and ignored me, then we had a meeting after work and he coudlnt get get in so starts texting me asking me to let him in and ringing me, he has the numbers of pretty much every girl in there (yes his unfaithfulness is antoehr reason we arnt togehter) yet he text me. WHY???
He never bothered to check she was ok when i was up the hospital last week either.

I guess it just makes me really mad that soemone can care so little for someone they helped make, somene who needs their suport and love.

AND how can he not care, when my ex, whos also my best friend, loves her so much, even though shes not his??? He's always asking if shes ok, he's bought her stuff, he gets excited over picking nursery things with me, and every night i see him he will ask if shes kicked much, or kicking and feel for himself.

This bloke shouldn't want anything to do with me, or this child, yet he does. I cheated on him with baby daddy breaking us up, and got myself pregnant. (i hate admitting that, im tempted not even to post this bit but its true).

I just dont understand why some men are such pricks!!!

 

[dannii87]

OMG Clare, that's awful! I'm sorry to hear you're having such a time of it lately with Mr F*ckbrain...

Firstly, do you have any feelings for your ex?

I don't know how to help you do this, but I think the first thing you need to do is take control of the situation because leaving it to your baby's dad is clearly not getting either of you any where... Start calling the shots and telling HIM what you need, what he's to buy etc.

He sounds like a man who needs to be mothered, brilliant way to start practising! If I were you, I would tell him that you would prefer all communication to be in writing (ie email being the best bet). That way, if he decides to f*ck both you and your daughter over you have it in writing with the false promises. (I'm a cynic at the moment when it comes to men so I'm all for planning ahead and assuming the worst!)

He sounds like a pr*ck to be honest, an arrogant, up himself t*sser who is more interested in getting his bit than DOING his bit for his daughter!!

Your ex sounds like a fab friend/future partner, at least bubs will have a steady male in her life, whether he be her "uncle" or "mummy's boyfriend"

Anyway, hope things work out for you

 

[keli]

Sorry to hear all this shit your ex is putting you through. Some men are justs pricks!! Nice to hear your getting on so well with your ex. Have some hugs it sounds like you need them xx

 

[abcd1234]

I still have feelings for him yeah, but i dont wanna be with him anymore, which i guess is a start!!!
He looked like a skrawny skinhead on sunday so obviously im making some progress.
The boy doesnt even have email, he's not that advanced yet lol. It's either text or notes in lockers for communication.

I do think part of the problem comes from his mum mothering him too much, He went off in a strop last week cos she was talking to me and she ran stright after him!!!

Thankx for the hugs. I really wish this baby was my nice ex's not baby daddies, i guess im lucky she'll be loved anyway

 

[Tadpole]

He sounds like a man who needs to be mothered,

Smothered more like!!

I can't answer why men are such arseholes sometimes but I can say you don't need to put up with it and you will feel SO much better when you take control & put your foot down.

This was a lesson I took aaaages to learn and only realised it after being shat on from a very great height several times. I once let an ex continue living with me as I felt sorry for him having nowhere else to go...AND THEN HAD TO LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND AT IT ALL SODDING NIGHT! (And there are a few tales like that. Sigh)

These days he'd be out quicker than you can say, "sling yer hook, kn*bcheese".

But I digress. The point being women are SOOO strong and we really can do anything when we put our mind to it. At some point in our lives we think we are powerless and then we act accordingly.

Dunno if that made any sense, just good luck - don't ASK him how it's going to be - TELL him how it is.

 

[NickyB]

I feel really mean saying this, please don't take offence because I don't want to be patronising, but doing naughty things with him won't help you. It'll just confuse things. Sorry to hear you're having a hard time

 

[abcd1234]

Yes i know not my finest moment, it was one of those times were i left his then went "what the fuck have you just done!!!!"

It wont be happening again, i wotn let myself

 

[MagicMarkers]

He sounds like an absolute prick, do you think its his mum making him do the nice things when he does ? Or some sort of good coscious in there ? I dont know he sounds like hes torn but jesus this girl hes with now, surely she must be a bit nervous thats hes more than likely going to be the same inconsiderate so n so to her that hes being to you ?
Your ex-ex however sounds like a lovely heartbroken soul ! He obviously cares alot about you and i think your really lucky to have him about, and being so caring, it obviously doesnt make up for the way babys dads acting but at least you've got that male role sorted (even if it should end up a will n grace scenario lol) Anyways reading your post made me very wound up and antibloke so going downstairs to lecture my OH and demand tea for the wrongs his sex has done to ours, good luck with everything ! x x

 

[Lou]

Hi I saw today your friend has joined the forum. chrisb isn't it? (He's asked to change his username already) lol Is he here to give your some moral support?

Hope you are feeling better now anyway

 

[MissSara]

Sounds like my ex.
A total *******.
Firstly all i have to say is please don't sleep with him anymore, i went on for 2years sleeping with my ex because i thought eventually he would want to be a proper family, instead he was to busy shagging anything that walked in front of him.

He needs to grow up and act his age, pathetic little prick. I also had great support from someone who wasn't even my babies dad but he wanted more to do with harrison than his dad. But just to make sure you both know where you stand, because unless you are actually over your ex well and truly, things won't work out with anyone else just yet.

I wish i could give you lots of advive but tbh, i was blinded by a dick for years and dont feel i would be the best person to do this.
I want to give you these and tell ya to stay strong for both you and baby and that prick really doesn't deserve either of you at all xxx

 

[abcd1234]

Hi I saw today your friend has joined the forum. chrisb isn't it? (He's asked to change his username already) lol Is he here to give your some moral support?

Hope you are feeling better now anyway

Yup that would be the nice ex, he signed up like me wanting to kinda stay annonymous at first, but with all the fakers being expossed thought it best to change his username to his real name.

 

[Lou]

Hi I saw today your friend has joined the forum. chrisb isn't it? (He's asked to change his username already) lol Is he here to give your some moral support?

Hope you are feeling better now anyway

Yup that would be the nice ex, he signed up like me wanting to kinda stay annonymous at first, but with all the fakers being expossed thought it best to change his username to his real name.

Yeah I don't blame him Nice that he is here to support you

 

[Krystal]

Sorry your feeling this way. Like someone else said though.. Only you can take control of it. You must put your foot down and tell him to stay away from you, you don't want a relationship with him but you won't stop him having a relationship with his child once born if he makes the effort. You deserve better than to be treated like this. I know it's easier said than done but that is what I would do.

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi,

Really sorry to hear you're having such a bad time.

You likely don't need anyone to say this really but blokie sounds like he needs to grow up!!! I kept sleeping with my ex. in the hope we would one day get back together too (we did, and have 2 children but now he is saying he's unsure again and putting me through all the same pain as before - I really thought I'd grown too old for it!!!).

And as for the other girl at work, well I guess she's blinded by love!!! If he's done this to you he's very likely to do it to her as well!!!!

Stay strong and don't let this guy mess you about; as someone else suggested, you sound like you could have unresolved issues over your prev. ex (who does sound like a good bloke) so perhaps you sound give yourself some time alone to really sort all this out in your head.

Stay strong and all the very best It's his loss and in years to come he will see that!