Grammar

[mummykay]

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[Squiglet]

Some of the things on that site are so funny..

 

[Lou]

We saw loads of funnies when we backpacked India & Nepal. My favourite was a bottle of water which had printed on it 'quench your thrust' instead of thirst We still have the label somewhere, we peeled it off and kept it

 

[daftscotslass]

 

[beanie]

 

[Lou]

I love them

 

[lfc_sarah]

Text speak definately drives me mad

 

[mummykay]

DSL - That site is sooooooooooooo funny

 

[HappyAlice]

My pet hate though is when people dont pay attention to 'i before e except after c'. I got this drummed into me at school and still that wee saying goes through my head.

seize, caffeine, protein, either, neither, fancied, policies, science, conscience, prescient, ancient, efficiency, financier, glacier, and many more

oops did I not pay attention

 

[widowwadman]

So, can anyone of you read out the following loudly, without stumbling?

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.
Exiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing.
Thames, examining, combining
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war, and far.
From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.
Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.
Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,
One, anemone. Balmoral.
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,
Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.
Scene, Melpomene, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which is said to rime with "darky."
Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's O.K.,
When you say correctly: croquet.
Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive, and live,
Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover,
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police, and lice.
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label,
Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.
Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,
Rime with "shirk it" and "beyond it."
But it is not hard to tell,
Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,
Ivy, privy, famous, clamour
And enamour rime with hammer.
Pussy, hussy, and possess,
Desert, but dessert, address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.
Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rime with anger.
Neither does devour with clangour.
Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.
Font, front, won't, want, grand, and grant.
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.
And then: singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.
Query does not rime with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;
Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual.
Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;
Put, nut; granite, and unite.
Reefer does not rime with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific,
Tour, but our and succour, four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria,
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.
Say aver, but ever, fever.
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess--it is not safe:
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.
Heron, granary, canary,
Crevice and device, and eyrie,
Face but preface, but efface,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,
Ear but earn, and wear and bear
Do not rime with here, but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation--think of psyche--!
Is a paling, stout and spikey,
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing "groats" and saying "grits"?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel,
Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict, and indict!
Don't you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally: which rimes with "enough"
Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?
Hiccough has the sound of "cup."
My advice is--give it up!

 

[trixipaws]

thats a fab poem! i bet it sounds different in different accents too tho- thats another thing i LOVE- accents! accents are soooooooooo fab i wish mine was stronger mine is very weak and boring thanx to my mother being prudent and forever making me "speak properly!" i went to a comprehensive school and tried my BEST to "fit in" but i still got bullied for being "posh" accents are fascinating too!

ooooh i wanna go back to college and study english some more!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I love writing that is completely correct but it is easy to make typos, silly mistakes or just not have the time or hands to write everything properly! I also understand that some people find spellings and grammar difficult. I love literature and the English language but I am sure I don't always use it correctly.

When typing on here I try my best to write properly but sometimes I only have one hand so can't use capital letters or sometimes I am in a hurry.

That was a great poem! Just shows why English can be so difficult!

 

[babyblonde]

I'm quite pedantic when it comes to language

Wouldn't judge anyone on here BUT I was in a hospital waiting room the other week and there was a poster on the wall - teaching kids to tell the time. On this poster, underneath a clock showing 1.30 it said, no word of a lie, "Half PASSED one!"

HALF PASSED BLEEPING ONE!

This is what kids are being taught?????

 

[Julie84]

ah, i am a bit dyslexic with that u see, i remember the phrase, but forget if it was "i before e except after c" or "i before e except BEFORE c" and i think there are a couple of exceptions to the rule as well. that boys' name Niel/Neil always gets me the most i have to ask the spelling EVERY TIME

My boyfriend is called Neil and his mum spelt his name wrong on his birthday card last year (Niel). It's no wonder he prefers my family really!

 

[*pud01*]

Spelling and grammar doesn't really bother me that much. As long as it's readable and I grasp the jist of what someone is saying, happy days !
My little brother has got dyslexia and he's lazy when he texts so I have to ring him to see what he wants half the time because I can make sense of it.
Formally (when someone is paid to write and get it right) It'd get on my t*ts but infomally (texts, facebook etc) I'm not bothered.

 

[claire2711]

so long as i can read it & it makes sense im happy 8)

 

[Jade&Evie]

At the risk of being shot down- I think that nowdays 'dyslexia' is almost used as an excuse.

Some people are just bad spellers- I hear "Oh, I am a bit dyslexsic..." so often it drives me mad. I know a boy who IS dyslexsic and it's more than not being able to spell and punctuate properly.

That wasn't aimed at anyone on here as such- just a general observation in general

 

[Morganuk]

so long as i can read it & it makes sense im happy 8)

Ditto.


Happy days

 

[jools221181]

Spelling and grammar mistakes or the odd bit of text speak doesn't bother me at all but when it's complete text speak I do struggle to read it sometimes

Mixing words up like bought/brought stand out much more to me

I make loads of mistakes myself

 

[daftscotslass]

At the risk of being shot down- I think that nowdays 'dyslexia' is almost used as an excuse.

Some people are just bad spellers- I hear "Oh, I am a bit dyslexsic..." so often it drives me mad. I know a boy who IS dyslexsic and it's more than not being able to spell and punctuate properly.

That wasn't aimed at anyone on here as such- just a general observation in general

This is sooooo true! I know someone from school who has dyslexia and had huge problems to start off with but when he was diagnosed and got the support he needed he ended up with 5 A's in his highers (A-level equivalents). He now has a PhD in some area of physics and is a university lecturer. My friend Steve who is also dyslexic would also tell you that the fact he is a shite speller has nothing to do with his dyslexia

There was a girl with a big attitude at our school who left last year to go to high school. The depute head of the high school met up with the head of our school at a meeting and told her that girl's mum had been in to see him recently. She was worried that her daughter's attitude was deteriorating recently. Why? "She cannae concentrate on her work right, I think she's caught the dyslexia".