going to bore you all now ((sorry))

[MissGobby]

well as you may know me and DF are TTC. He is in the army and was due to 'sign off' this week, he would then have to do a years notice - so would be coming out of the Army next March! BUT...he now doesnt know whether to sign off or not ( ). we are thinking of buying a house in the next year but if i do fall PG then we are not gonna be able to afford a mortgage so trying to hold that off a little while.

i dont know how i feel TBH i mean i want him to come out of the Army because i dont want him to have to go out to Iraq/Afghanistan but i know if he stays in he will have to go out there, and possible as early as next April/May! but i do want him to stay in if its what he really wants, he has lots of mates there and the job is so easy and he gets time off all the time - and if he did stay in we would get married and we can live in the marriage quarters, which tbh, i would really really like to do, it is such a nice place in Warminster,and would really like to have a baby and live down there with DF.

but im cut in two i just dont know - god why do men have to be so awkward?!?!?

sorry for the long, boring story LOL i just needed to write it down

**breathes***

 

[tuck]

I knew a few people that when they came out the army they could not find a decent job that they liked and ended going into the prison service or police which in reality with the shifts and sometimes dangerous situations they could have stayed in the army. I also have a friend who is an army wife and she loves it, she live on base and so when her Hubbie is away she is not alone. Maybe your OH could do another couple of years, you can get married carry on TTC and save some money so when he does come out you will have a little nest egg? this is just my opinion and at the end of the day you have to do what is right for both of you. Are there any army counsellors that you could talk to and get some ideas of the pros and cons?

 

[MissGobby]

army councillers(spl?) are you kidding? the army do naff all for the soldiers and their families. i would love to live down in Warminster and i get on with the lads gf's/wives its just the fact that he will be sent out into dangerous places like Afghan/Iraq - i remember when he went to Iraq last time, it was awful, i dont even know how i got through the 6 months!!!

oh i dunno lol



it would be fantastic to get our own place, get married and have a buba while he was in because the houses in the quarters are so cheap and the soliders get an extra 'allowance' if you have family with you.

thanks chick

 

[Bexter]

Hi Miss Goby, i used to be in the RAF so i understand the culture shock of "coming out". I had such a big shock when i had to pay council tax, mortgage, petrol etc...

My mates bloke is in the Army too. He left when they fell pg but he had such a hard time finding a decent job and with a babba on the way luckily he they accepted him back into the army(didn't have to do the training etc).

They are so much better off now, living in married quarters and have much more money which is good as they are expecting their 2nd!


I know it must be difficult particularly if he gets sent away but believe it or not the Forces do look after you!

Only you and him can make that decision , so i wish you all the luck. xxx

 

[MissGobby]

thanks Bexter - he knows i will stand by him if he does want to stay in, and i think, deep down, i do want him to stay in because we wil have some stability its just the frightning thought of him being sent out there!!!

 

[Redshoes]

MissGobby I have no idea what it's like being in the Army or being in love with someone in the Army, I just wanted to say that your relationship must be so very strong to still be so in love and planning a future when you spend times apart
As to your OH going off to dangerous countries, that must be quite fretful yes, and I'm sure you will both talk about those feelings, though I think it's important to remember your OH joined the Army for certain reasons, to serve his country I take as being one, so no matter where he's sent I guess it's what he wants to do as otherwise he'd not be in the Army, and what a safer country we have because of him and other men and women who do that selfless job.
I do hope you're writing it down has helped, sometimes I think we know what we want but writing it down helps to clarify that, I hope it has.

Very best wishes MissGobby

 

[Snuggle]

MissGobby, both me and DH are in RAF and have both been to Afghanistan so I know how you're feeling. We hate going away from each other but its part of our job and the pro's outweigh the con's. We live in a lovely quarter and have lots of friends around us when one of us has to go away.
Everything will work out just fine and if you need to talk about anything then just give me a shout

 

[MissGobby]

awww thanks Redshoes

thanks too Snuggles - i think he will stay in and although, like i said, its the frightning prospect of him being sent out there, which i am more than 99% certain will be next year, i think it will be much easier once we have got married and settled in a home down in Warminster.

i might even ask him whether he would like to get married next year - i mean by then we will have been together 5 years and (hopefully!) have a baby/on the way.!

 

[SarahH]

What rank is he in the army? He could maybe get a regulars job at a TA base? Like PSI or Tech. Might mean moving but they supply you with a house.

 

[MissGobby]

hi Sarah he is only a Private but will be doing a course this year (for 2nd time!) to become a LC ( i think thats next one up?)

i have spoke to him today and told him that if it is what he really wants (to stay in!) then we are gonna get married next year and im gonna move down there

he also said that if we did get married but i wanted to stay up here then the Army pay for a mortgage on your house - so that is another possibility!

im quite excited now

 

[Mildly]

I hope your OH makes the best decision for the both of you (and your future family ).

It must be difficult to make a decision that affects both your financial security and his own physical security.

Good luck with it all

 

[MissGobby]

thanks Mildly hun

 

[SarahH]

hi Sarah he is only a Private but will be doing a course this year (for 2nd time!) to become a LC ( i think thats next one up?)

i have spoke to him today and told him that if it is what he really wants (to stay in!) then we are gonna get married next year and im gonna move down there

he also said that if we did get married but i wanted to stay up here then the Army pay for a mortgage on your house - so that is another possibility!

im quite excited now

He should see if he could do a tech post and then he could be uk based rather then going on tour. Although think you can only do this once you are Corporal or above.

Glad that you are a bit happier.

 

[happy-chick]

Hiya Hun,

Sounds like your OH is feeling torn at the moment! Its great you will stand by him whatever he decides and sounds like you will be fine either way as far as plans etc.

I have a few friends in the army (3 lads & 1 girl), all at different levels etc.

Im good friends with one of the lads gf's and her fella is in Afganistan as we speak! Another 2 of my close friends are due to go to Iraq in a month or so and they were out there last year.
I'm not saying I know what your going through but I have an idea through speaking to my friends who are in there or close to people in there. It must be so hard being apart for so long & being worried,

I have alot of respect for people who choose to join the army, its hard and requires alot of physical and mental strength.

Im sure your OH will choose what he feels is right for you both & for your future. It sounds like you are very much in love - dont forget my wedding invitation!

Send me a PM if you fancy a chat xxxxxx

 

[MissGobby]

aww thanks all of youz!!

i (think) he will end up staying in, but just found out that if we want to get a house up here (or down there!) the Army will give us £9,000 deposit

it will be better if he stays in becuase of the stability of the job etc its just the frightning prospect of him going out there - but if it happens, it happens and i have dealt with it before, i just hope i can get PG before he goes out there, so we can start a family!

 

[happy-chick]

Good luck again miss gobby!! xxx

 

[MissGobby]

aww thanks hun