Going it alone, dont know what to do.

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by -Cat-, Sep 11, 2005.

  1. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Well Its not just pregnancy hormones. OH and I have either been arguing or not talking for far to much of the time, and it really has come to head this weekend. Im seriously doubting our future together now and don't really know what to do. We speel in seperate rooms now anyway, and its my thought to stay seperate like this with me being more like a lodger untill after the baby is born then review the situation then, most likly me putting my name down for council housing and moving out with bub.

    Thing is untill now OH was going to be my birth partner, but now I don't really feel comfortable with the idea. I don't really have anyone else I can ask either, so I dont really know what to do, as Im terrified of just being dumped in a room and being left to get on with it with the midwife just occasionally popping her head round the door to check up on me.

    Baby is now due in just 3 weeks so could be making an apperance anytime soon, and Im very confused about what to do. Can anyone advise, or has anyone done it alone in the past themselves.

    Ta
     
  2. Ragna

    Ragna Well-Known Member

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    Oh Cat (((((((((((((((((Cat)))))))))))))))))))))

    This is just what you dont need at the minute. Really so sad to hear that things are not good with you and your partner.

    Have you not got any friends or family near you that could come with you when you were in labour ?? Failing that, why dont you give your Midwife a call, as I wonder whether some areas have volunteers that you could get to know that would stay with you ???

    Hope you get it sorted hun. Sorry I cant be of any more help.

    Ragna xxxx
     
  3. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    I have just PM'd you hun!!!

    Let me know how you get on with my suggestions!!

    I'd do it myself for you (for free!! :wink: ) but if I remember rightly you are miles away from me!!

    Take care xx
     
  4. sasha715

    sasha715 Well-Known Member

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    ah hunny **hugz**
    sorry to hear things arent goin your way.. i know people say babys cant fix realtionships but if it was a good relationship b4 hand then im sure when the baby is here u'll find a way to sort things.
    as for the birth partner thing why dont u call ur midwife and explain things to her and maybe she will be nice and agree that u can call her (as u know her already) and she will stay with you..
    keep posting and im sure someone on here will be able to help!

    xxx
     
  5. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))

    Im so sorry to hear about your troubles, must be so hard for you right now, but your a strong person so i know you can get through this.

    I hope you find someone to birth with, i dont think the midwifes will just leave you if your on your own.

    sorry im not being much help really, just wanted to let you know im thinking of you

    xxx
     
  6. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    (((Cat)))

    So sorry to hear that things are tough for you right now :(

    Have you any family that can go in with you or maybe a good friend? My Mum is coming in with me but strangely enough my sister in law offered as well and I'm not even close to her. I was surprised but I think a lot of women who have had babies would gladly be there as it's such an amazing experience- it might just be the case of asking someone who hadn't automatically volunteered. I'm sure you won't be left on your own whatever happens though, talk to your midwife

    Chin up hun :)

    +++
     
  7. playmate

    playmate Well-Known Member

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    Oh no! im sorry to hear that things arnt looking to brightly for you..thing is babes you don't need the stress, i know about this time in pregnancy your worying your socks off cos i know i was about everything, and everything just seemed so emotional.
    i think what you should do is talk to your partner about how your feeling. let him know that you need to decide seriously what you should do with your relationship because of the baby. and make sure you both understand where you stand, you never know he could be having these kind of worries to and maybee he is just to scared on how you will react.. i dont know your relation ship situation but thats what i'd do.. maybee after a nice long talk you'd be able to figure something out and both your problems will be sorted. if not and they go dreadfully worse you know what you have to do...and thats the you and baby find a new place option but at least it will all be sorted before baby arrives and there will be no excuse for any arguments etc when bab is born.

    good luck hun and let us know how you get on.. i'll be thinkin about ya x
     
  8. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Ah thank you all for your kind responses and those of you who have PM'd me as well, its been lovely to have the support from you all.

    Well its been a very tearfull weekend, but basically OH pretty much broke down yesterday, made himself very ill. Said he has been doing a lot of thinking and realises that his priorities have been all wrong. Had a long talk about what we both want etc, and he is terrified of the thought of losing his family, bacause me and baby mean so much to him. I have agreed to work things out with him, as he really does have the best intentions and I know he will try to do anything to make me happy. Hopefully this weekend has really knocked some sense into him and things will get better now.

    Feeling a lot etter about things now, so fingers crossed all will be well. I do love him very much, I think its one of those things where a lot of things had just built up over time and we were petty squabling for a while and it all just exploded this weekend.

    Bub is booting around now so I guess its not bothered about it all, dont like stressing the little bean, but hopefully it can feel all the love we both feel for it now :)
     
  9. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    awww im glad things have worked out for you all


    xxxx
     
  10. Ragna

    Ragna Well-Known Member

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    Cat

    Really glad that you managed to sort it out. I have many friends that on occasions seemed to be in a similar situation with their partners/husbands and looked like it was about to end, but a heart to heart with some honest talking saved it and they are still together (happilly) to this day.

    Sometimes the pressure of everyday life gets to men more than they let on, and the trouble is unlike women, who spill all to the nearest person (even strangers!) Men just dont talk and it all boils up inside them.

    Once your very much wanted baby is here both your lives will change and you will be happy loving family

    Take care Cat & I will be keeping a close eye on the announcements as you dont have long left now !!!

    Ragna xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     

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